Argument with my DM over baby items

[Firsttimer266]

Hi, long time lurker first time poster.

I am expecting my first baby, my DH and I are thrilled!

We live in a rented older terest house and have been here for 4 months now. Lovely area and nice if a bit quirky home. Because of where we live being great and having recently moved I do not want to consider moving again to better 'accommodate' the baby.

We can have minimal baby 'furniture' without missing any of the important bits and get creative with storage for toys get old enough to play with them...

My mum, however, is quite keen for us to move and have a house better suited to having a baby. Says we wont be able to get all the stuff we need. Mostly, she's going on about the pram/pushchair because our front door is steep steps and back door hasn't anywhere to put the pram.

I think this is something we can deal with when we get there? And not a huge deal?

Shes angry with me now and says I dont know cause I've never done it. Am I underescting that this isn't going to be an issue? Any easily folding pram recs welcome 😉

Is it?

https://stateofchildhealth.rcpch.ac.uk/evidence/injury-prevention/accidental-injury/

Yes, this is not a healthy thought pattern and definitely not a level of anxiety you should be pushing on a pregnant woman. Your link doesn’t say that people with steps up to their front door have any increased risk of their baby being injured so has no connection to your point. It will all come down to how carefully the child is supervised, and that risk will be the same whether OP moves or not.

The risk of a fall is increased by having steep steps to the front door of their terrace home. The data isn’t granulated enough to distinguish between stairs and steps, but it does show that falls are one of the top 3 reasons why thousands of under 5s are admitted to hospital every year in the UK.

It is quite simply a mathematical fact that the more steps you have, the higher the risk. Especially when we consider that outdoor steps are not only steep but also likely to be stone or concrete that can get wet or icy. They are logically, and realistically more likely to cause injury than carpeted indoor stairs with landings.

It is not unhealthy anxiety. I am not pushing anything, I am agreeing with the OP’s MIL that they should consider renting a more child safe home.

All it takes is one second of distraction or a toddler that isn’t willing to hold your hand. Or if one of you trips. Supervision mitigates the risk, but even with supervision toddlers still get injured from falls.

There is added risk.

The house is a rental so it’s not all that difficult to find a more child safe home.

There is nothing worse than unsolicited advice and forceful comments from others - even when they try to pass it off as being helpful… it isn’t! I’ve had similar. Just try to pick your battles - I will only say something back if it really grinds my gears. We have 5 steep steps leading up to our house, it will be impossible to drag a pram up them. I plan to carry baby up in the car seat or bassinet, then fold down the pram and carry it up the steps. Chosen a very light pram for this reason - mamas and papas Vardo. You can’t base where you live on how difficult it will be to deal with a pram - don’t worry about it

This.
Research the lightest fold up buggy from birth and you will be fine.
I had one that easily fitted in my boot and was so easy to manage.
I had enough friends telling me to avoid the huge heavy ones.
Tell your mother to mind your own business.
I didn't have a house full of baby stuff either.
I bought the minimum and moved stuff on when finished with it.
Look at neat compact items, do your research.
Loving where you live is a great thing.
Good luck.
New babies don't need much
Look up local second hand sites.

I have steps up to my house.

You want a le clerc, a yoyo or similar. Bugaboo butterfly is good I hear...

The basinettes on the yoyo are flimsy so we went for a le clerc. But they are barely in the basinette.
Youll probably use a baby bjorn sling or similar for first 3m or so.

I ignored the (good) advice i got and bought a nuna.
we sold the nuna within a year... so heavy and you cant get the baby in without waking them up steps.

Just get a lightweight one...Dont buy anything weighing more than 8kg max

Ridiculous post - loads of people live in flats, houses with steps, houses with stairs, main roads, near water, etc etc

i personally live on a very busy road and flat with steps up to it!

it’s not ideal but we make it work - I can carry the buggy with my 1.5 year old up the few steps in the yo yo buggy

i have to take the overground train with him regularly and can carry the buggy up all around 25 steps with him in it (not sure How much longer il manage - but with older girl I just took what out and folded buggy and she walked up the steps holding my hand!

this is life for loads of people and you just have to Find a way to manage

i have to be aware that there is steps and a busy road and to ensure I hold the kids hand or have them safely strapped in before we open front door - but you just do that. It’s all I know and I’m used to and op will be fine too

I used to bump a pushchair up 2 flights of stairs when my eldest was in his first year of life.
I later moved to a gff then to a house. You adapt to your environment.
Your mum is sounding controlling already, hope this isn't the tip of the iceberg.

I suspect toddlers are far more likely to fall down internal stairs due to lack of supervision than external.

But anyway, millions of people raise families in flats. The pram/buggy years will be over before you know it, what are the schools like more importantly?

Why should OP 'be kind'? Her mother needs to wind her neck in!

Oh ignore, people are ridiculous when it comes to houses and think that anything other then a 3 bed semi with room for office space and a driveway and garden will be absolutely unimaginable. In reality people live in all sorts of different types of homes quite easily and happily.

This is what we use and it's great. Folds down easily with one hand - I have done this many times with baby in one hand folding the pram in the other. We also use a baby carrier a lot when out and about. The brand we use is Tula and it's lovely.

Completely ridiculous. What about all the millions and millions of people around the world who live in apartments? Do they get quickly tired of it? No because it’s just how and where they live. It will be perfectly fine.

Hopefully the car will not be stolen if you’re leaving everything in it.

I lived in a flat with 2 sets of steep stairs up to the door when dc was newborn. I won't lie sometimes it was really difficult eg coming home with shopping and baby asleep in pram. My pram mainly lived in the car there was no room in flat for it but it did get easier once dc was out of the flat pram and switched to buggy. Your mum is just concerned but expressing it in the wrong way

I have never heard such nonsense... The idea that a terraced house is not safe.

And how patronizing to talk about 'learning the hard way'.

Many, many people live in far less ideal homes than a sole occupancy terraced home. There must be hundreds of thousands of them in the UK.
I grew up in one and both my siblings owned/ do own one. They are lovely solid homes.

I'm curious as to what type of home you feel is 'safe' ... A bungalow?

You just buy a pram that suits your needs. I loved in a tiny home with my first. I just had a travel system with a neat frame/car seat combo when he was tiny, and changed to buggy as soon as he was big enough.

Honesty, get a grip.

What on earth are some people imagining with the steps... This is what the steps to a typical terraced house are like... Hardly lethal...

We live in a small flat OP and our pram lives in the car. Probably a bit more of a faff than it coming into the home, but it’s not stopped us doing anything at any time.

Remember baby needs to lie flat in a pram until 6 months….then you can get a buggy that’s more in a sitting position….I wouldn’t get a house where I couldn’t wheel the pram straight in….you will be waking them from walks to pit the pram back in the car….then hoisting baby and bags up stair into house….too much of a faff for me…especially when it’s pissing down…but I’m sure you’ve thought it all thru

You will be absolutely fine. I lived in a flat with a huge flight of stairs and a baby that only napped out walking. I would get home, take the bassinet off the wheels and carry baby upstairs whilst the wheels went straight in my car boot. Easy!

We did this too. McLaren XT that lies flat and really easy to handle and fold up. We have steps up to our door and I could manage by gently ‘bumping’ up the stairs backwards on the back wheels. No problems.

Just tell her you cant think about the hassle of moving right now, but will if it turns out you don't manage.
So much easier than getting into an argument about something that no one knows for sure as yet. You might be fine with it. You might find you'd rather move.

Goodness people are crazy about the what ifs. people have managed for years. I lived in a flat on the 2nd floor, no lift, I dealt with it when we had our child and didnt move until dc was around 2 as we wanted a garden.

There’s a hundred ways toddlers can fall over and hit their heads - they can do it on a flat surface on the corner of the pavement for goodness sakes.

Risks on steps and anything else can be managed. You’re balancing everything that is great about your house and area with some inconveniences that you’ll learn to get around. If you decide it’s not worth it then you can always move then.

We lived in a tiny flat with a baby and minimal furniture l, and later a bigger flat with steep stairs to navigate for a toddler and it was fine. We used a combination of carriers and strollers. I loved carriers - so easy and convenient and still use them every day with my 1yo.

We lived in a two bedroom first floor flat until DS was 8. No lift, no garden. Absolutely fine. We were sad to leave.

We also didn’t bother with a changing table, a foam mat on the floor was absolutely fine (and no risk of him rolling off).