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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

514 replies

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 14:53

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Owly11 · 26/12/2025 16:11

So you offered to take your friends out for a meal but then they ended up paying because all your cards were declined, then it sounds like they dropped hints that you could take them to the theatre as a way of paying them back but you thought they were offering to buy you the tickets which would have meant that they would have been £600 out of pocket and then to cap it all off you bought them a lousy calendar for xmas. You should have transferred the money for the meal. I bet they are pissed off with you. How do you know the bookends are of you and not of a spooky character?

Shodan · 26/12/2025 16:11

Is it possible- and this is probably a massive leap- that the bookends are actually not caricatures of you, but of Ebeneezer Scrooge, from A Christmas Carol? And that's why they wanted to see your reaction?

Regardless- it was beyond crass of you to play the gracious host at the restaurant and then not have the means to pay for it, and even worse to be expecting an expensive gift like theatre tickets from the same people that you stiffed.

Tigerbalmshark · 26/12/2025 16:12

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:11

this is it

You are Joan Crawford??

paradisecircus · 26/12/2025 16:13

Sounds like they were trying to get a funny, personalised gift and it's misfired a bit, but give them a break. If you wanted tickets for a show (or anything else specific) I think it was worth requesting that.

DisforDarkChocolate · 26/12/2025 16:13

That is absolutely hideous!

UncannyFanny · 26/12/2025 16:13

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:17

They do have a partner, and I have met them, we all went out for dinner just before christmas, and it seemed fine, although I think I may have embarrassed them, I offered to pay and we all ordered quite a lot with quite a lot of drink which I encouraged as I was paying, but then my card got declined, well, I say my card, I ended up trying a few, as you do, and in the end my dear friend paid and refused to let me pay, so I thought it was all sorted but maybe they are trying to tell me something, its quite confusing because the book ends really are quite scary versions of me, maybe I should send them the money for the bill, as they refuse to take it in person.

How did so many of your cards get declined? I mean given that you encouraged people to order more because you were paying, you must have had the funds available?

GoneWoman · 26/12/2025 16:13

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:11

this is it

I have a feeling that your friend doesn't like you very much

Jcherry · 26/12/2025 16:13

How do we not know that you are lying for attention if you won't post a picture?

Jcherry · 26/12/2025 16:14

Owly11 · 26/12/2025 16:11

So you offered to take your friends out for a meal but then they ended up paying because all your cards were declined, then it sounds like they dropped hints that you could take them to the theatre as a way of paying them back but you thought they were offering to buy you the tickets which would have meant that they would have been £600 out of pocket and then to cap it all off you bought them a lousy calendar for xmas. You should have transferred the money for the meal. I bet they are pissed off with you. How do you know the bookends are of you and not of a spooky character?

This! The op is massively entitled

ThisCalmMauveWriter · 26/12/2025 16:14

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:11

this is it

we don't know what you actually look like in real life

Maybe it was a joke, maybe they are beginners and not every good at making this stuff

Your reaction is completely ridiculous and over the top. At worst, you have an ugly object. Why on earth do you take it so personally and are you so upset?

bridgetreilly · 26/12/2025 16:14

Talk to her? “I can see they were personalised, but I’m not sure they are quite my taste. I wondered what you thought when you were choosing them?”

honeyytoast · 26/12/2025 16:14

To be honest I really think the 2 things are unrelated - they gave you a weird thoughtless present, you had them pay for a meal. Sounds to me like that’s all there is to it

stealthninjamum · 26/12/2025 16:15

I’m sorry. I think you were wrong to
have not insisted on paying for the meal the next day - even taking cash over - but to insist on your brother filming you and sending the film to them is humiliating and is disproportionate to what you did wrong.if they were really bothered by the money they should’ve told you to pay them instead of this. Also if my friend’s multiple cards got declined I’d be worried she’s broke and would have a concerned conversation, I wouldn’t seek to embarrass her on film.

i would be considering my friendship with them and my relationship with my brother.

Whaleandsnail6 · 26/12/2025 16:15

Why didn't you just pay for the meal over a few cards to stop it getting declined instead of letting friends pay?

Theyarrived · 26/12/2025 16:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Pieceofpurplesky · 26/12/2025 16:15

Do you look like this?

Original poster
confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:17

I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!!!! it looks like a man in drag

OP posts:
havingamarvelloustimeruiningeverything · 26/12/2025 16:17

I genuinely believed this was a troll thread until you posted the photo. Wow, that is certainly something.
but, erm yeah, maybe it’s time to find some new friends. And I like ugly stuff but that is another level. Especially if they are all laughing at you, you can do better and find friendships where you feel valued instead

UncannyFanny · 26/12/2025 16:17

Heeeeeere’s Johnnny!

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!
dapsnotplimsolls · 26/12/2025 16:18

Pay them the money and re-think the friendship.

MatchingLuggage · 26/12/2025 16:18

But if you don’t look like this why do you think this is supposed to look like you?

susey · 26/12/2025 16:19

The context no longer matters much - they knew you'd be upset and even asked your family to film your reaction. That's atrocious and not the behaviour of a friend. Take the hint and quit the friendship, just stop being in touch.

Snooks1971 · 26/12/2025 16:19

I asked AI to “find” (reverse image search) the photo and describe it and it took several seconds, stating….”thinking…” so even usually immediate AI was thinking WTAF.

Sorry OP. I kinda hope this is a wind up, for your sake.

Failing that, pass them off as Grayson Perry originals.

diddl · 26/12/2025 16:19

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:17

I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!!!! it looks like a man in drag

So why do you say that they look like you?

Boomer55 · 26/12/2025 16:20

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:48

its really not funny, how would you like it if your best friend made bookmarks that made you look like a bug eyed witch with a slight goatee, when they had let you to believe they were gifting you christmas carol tickets at the old vic, as I said, i know i messed up with the bill but there is no need to be so personal, its downright hurtful and very cruel

Frankly, I would have laughed. But, my BFF and I have the same sense of humour. 🤷‍♀️. I would have wondered at what the hell the calendar was about though. 🙄