Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

[confusedgoldilocks]

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

@confusedgoldilocks are the bookends different to the figurine you posted?

I would love to buy these for my very close circle of friends, but we all have a very similar sense of humour.

This is obviously different to your situation which (if true, sorry) seems mean. Also yes - pay them back, at least half, for the meal.

That's horrible. These people are not your friends.

The gifts she gave you sound (and look from that pic) pretty bizarro, but tbf she mightn't have loved all the pix of her you put on the calendar. That was a super risky choice too - I'd only do a photo calendar for grandparents featuring grandkids, that level of unconditional love/lack of self-consciousness. It's thoughtful of course, but just because they're photos that mean a lot to you, doesn't mean they're shots she loves of herself and would want to gaze at all year round. Maybe she does, or will be polite enough to say so, but still, neither of you are playing it safe gift-wise so you're well-matched pressie-wise.

You can buy the bookends off Amazon

This can’t be real but I can’t stop reading the updates 😂

Don't be ridiculous. I know that on Mumsnet men are all devils and women are all saints, but this is taking it to another level.

This is a good idea.

I’m so confused about this. You took them for dinner, played “the role of host”, let them think you were paying, then let them pay for the lot and never even transferred for your share of it - is that what happened?! The book ends seem an incredibly strange way to take revenge but this whole situation is bonkers

It sounds like you are socially awkward, and they are equally socially awkward

Send them the money and end the friendship. I don't think this is a healthy dynamic.

It's Roy Barraclough, isn't it? He used to play Cissie to Les Dawson's Ada.
Perhaps it's meant to be him?
Anyway, this whole scenario is somewhat strange, especially the meal.

I honestly don't think it's got anything to do with the restaurant bill though - don't go down that road. Course they're not laughing at you and sending you some weird message via bookends about your bad luck that night. Take them out another time and pay with cash. Or take them to A Christmas Carol and move on from all of this. It's just a misunderstanding. I bet if you said they made you feel insecure about your looks she'd feel bad and set you straight in no time.

You have a few different things going on here.

1. you took them for a meal, encouraged extravagant spending then didn't pay for it.
2. your friends clearly made you a joke present for Xmas, you bought them a calendar.
3. you expected £300 tickets for an event when you got them a calendar.

Pay them back for the meal.
Get a sense of humour.
Stop expecting extravagant things when you're giving little to the relationship in terms of money.
Stop confusing separate issues for one big issue.

That's horrible. These people are not your friends.

Not sure that Op particularly makes the cut as a friend either!

I don't understand this friendship at all. You are close enough that you have a enough photos to fill a whole calendar of the two of you. Close enough that you are confident that a calendar about your friendship is a fitting gift rather than her and her partner, or her and her family or dog. Yet you are not close enough to sort out the bill for the meal that you offered but then put all the expense on her. And not close enough that you can't ask her straight out what the hell the present is about. Also not close enough for her to know the gift is a complete miss. Also not close at all because you suspect her of wanting to hurt and humiliate you. What is this friendship? None of it makes any sense.

Ian McKellans Panto Dame?

(Don't end the friendship though, that's way OTT for people to be suggesting given that OP describes her as a dear friend and this is all clearly crossed wires)

First: pay the friend back asap. Don’t take no for an answer, post the cash through the letterbox if you have to.

Second: yes that bookend or whatever it is is qrotesque and must be intentionally so. I’m sure you look nothing like it.

I get sick of some posters who say things like ‘don’t be insecure about your appearance’ or ‘take a joke’ etc. Who can honestly say they are totally confident about their appearance? Most of us feel a bit depressed when we see a hideous photo of ourselves, but giving someone a deliberate caricature which has taken some effort to make, and then filming their reaction, is on another level.

So, pay them back, say nothing, leave the ball in their court.

On the plus side, it doesn't have a goatee.

So all you cards got declined after you’d encouraged them to order loads? You got them a calendar but expected tickets to a show? Seriously?

Nobody offers to pay for a meal, encourages her guests to choose anything they fancy from the menu while all the while not having the money to pay. That’s not just fool hardy that’s crazy conduct, so I don’t believe your bookend story and ensuing video can be true either I’m afraid.
Sorry OP.

I think they thought this was funny and didn’t realise you’d be so offended. If they’re a close friend, it’s quite baffling they didn’t know this isn’t your humour. To be honest, I have no idea how much that monstrosity cost but if it’s handmade and personalised I’d imagine it wasn’t cheap and it’s so ugly.

True 😂 I've read more thoroughly, and it seems @confusedgoldilocks was expecting 300 bucks worth of tickets, as well as them shouting her dinner.

This thread is bonkers. To me the figurine looks like a panto dame - was there some kind of joke of one having your hair?

OP, are you ND/autistic in some way? I think the way you read social situations is very indicative of such. Plus the hyper focus on things and expectations of what you think is lovely (a cheap calendar) and not being able to see a bit of joking/assuming the worst? Or the massive imbalance of the theatre tickets and meal. Sounds like you thought a central London meal with wine for three would be £50 followed by £8 Old Vic tickets, which seems very naive

I think you’re overthinking it and it’s meant to be funny- hence why they wanted to see you open it. They probably misjudged your humour. Not the end of the world.

But I’m baffled why you would get such a crappy personalised calendar of pics of the two of you for your friend who presumably would have to hang it up in a home she shares with her partner? It’s an awkward gift. Also not sure why you would give such a rubbish gift when you were expecting her to give you expensive theatre tickets.

I have a feeling that you are used to your friend paying for you, treating you to things and now take it for granted. At the very least you should refund her the £300 for the meal she paid for.

Thank you so much for sharing OP 😂😂😂😂😂😂