To expect children to say thank you?

[Nifty50something]

We stopped by a good friend's home yesterday (we were invited) and gave her a gift and also gave £30 to in a Christmas card to each of her children. The children (aged 11 and 16) opened the cards, took the money out and said nothing. After a few minutes I prompted them by asking if they had put it somewhere safe and the 11 year old then said yes, thank you. The 16 year old said nothing.

Afterwards in the car I mentioned to DH I thought it was shocking the children hadn't said thank you, or only one did when prompted by me. The mum did say thank you for her gift but didn't say anything to the children. DH said oh that's normal that's just how children are nowadays. But I can't believe that.

I'm child free and in my 50s. So AIBU to expect a thank you or am I just out of it and behind the times? I don't expect a thank you card or even a text but surely uttering those two words at the time of receiving something surely cannot be too much to expect???

Gosh that’s so rude, especially at their ages. I wouldn’t give them a gift again.
And no, that’s not how children in general are these days. I’d be mortified if my child didn’t say an automatic thank you when receiving a gift by that age, and they’d get a talking to about manners afterwards.

My bil's kids are similar and never say thank you mainly because their parents don't either. One year, I didn't give them their expected birthday gift and bil asked me if I forgot! The cheeky fucker was clearly expecting a present from me so was a bit confused when it didn't appear.

I told him because his kids never acknowledged their gifts, I assumed they didn't like them. So, I decided to save my money and not buy for them anymore. He was really shocked and now makes them say thank you only because the greedy twat wants more gifts. It worked though, at least they thank people even if it is for the wrong reason.

DD is 16. She wouldn’t have needed prompting.

£30 is a lot of money. YNBU

Next year just give them a £2 selection box if you have to give anything at all. I wouldn't be giving them cash ever again.

Your DH is right, a lot of kids nowadays have no manners. I recently took my DD and her friend to a trampoline park, paid for her, bought her drinks, food, money to play in the arcade and never once got a thank you. Expected one when I dropped her off perhaps but nothing!

You've just repeated what I said. It's not an excuse. But a potential explanation. So, thanks for agreeing, I guess.

That's disgusting behaviour from your nephew!!

It’s disgusting behaviour from the parents for ever allowing the child to behave like this.