Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm done..

365 replies

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

OP posts:
PoppySaidYesIKnow · 28/12/2025 11:32

New year, new start, without this nasty bastard. Hurrah for new beginnings.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/12/2025 11:35

Sounds as if you’re very well rid of him, OP!

Horrible, selfish git!

Sooose · 28/12/2025 11:37

I can't see one single reason in your post why you might want to stay with this person. He may have some redeeming features that you don't mention. But he throws a wobbly and you're the naughty one?! Big red flag right there. He seems utterly self absorbed. And lazy. It's also not a good role model to have around your children of how to behave in a family. Next time, try and find someone who cares about those around them and shows it through deeds.

BreatheInMoveOn · 28/12/2025 11:38

Onwards and upwards OP. Cheering you on

GingerDoris · 28/12/2025 11:40

Block him on absolutely everything and never talk to the shithouse again. He sounds utterly ghastly!

JMSA · 28/12/2025 11:45

Have just read your update, OP. You have absolutely done the right thing and deserve to be proud of yourself. The key, however, is to learn from this for future relationships.
Wishing you all the best.

nicepotoftea · 28/12/2025 11:48

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama.

In the future, I think you should recognise this as a red flag. It's not the kind of promise you should need to extract from a partner.

Enjoy the rest of Christmas without him!

ThxForTheFish · 28/12/2025 11:49

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 21:55

He's blocked, the locks are changed, ring doorbell/camera are set up and I will never speak or make contact with him again x

Just wanted to congratulate you on your resolve and strength. You and your kids deserve better and you have put you and them first. Not all women are strong enough to do this- well done you and wishing you a safe & happy new year, xx

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 28/12/2025 11:52

ThxForTheFish · 28/12/2025 11:49

Just wanted to congratulate you on your resolve and strength. You and your kids deserve better and you have put you and them first. Not all women are strong enough to do this- well done you and wishing you a safe & happy new year, xx

I agree with this, you've done really well OP. So glad you've got rid of him without wasting even more of your precious time on this oxygen thief

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 28/12/2025 11:52

congratulations and a very happy new you in 2026!

BufferingAgain · 28/12/2025 12:00

Well done for blocking him. Enjoy your peace. Hope you don’t hear from him again

Sam9769 · 28/12/2025 12:03

dannyufcfan · 26/12/2025 12:48

Sounds a keeper.

Yes, dump!

upsofloating · 28/12/2025 12:07

Sam9769 · 28/12/2025 12:03

Yes, dump!

She has.

Jade3450 · 28/12/2025 12:09

PollyPlumPeach · 26/12/2025 12:56

Always blows my mind the way some women have such low standards that they settle for someone like this. If you'd been married and his behaviour had changed over time that would be one thing, but you don't even live together, and you knew enough about his awful behaviour to give him a warning before inviting him for Christmas, yet you still thought things would work out somehow

Why are you blaming her for his behaviour? She’s not happy with him so she’s kicked him out before she made any commitment to him or moved him in etc. So she’s done the right thing.

These aren’t ’low standards’ - it’s the opposite.

ByPinkOP · 28/12/2025 12:13

Gymnopedie · 26/12/2025 13:01

Oh come on. I know some on MN think you shouldn't introduce them until you're on your 25th anniversary and the kids are 40. Two years is reasonable.

The time period isn’t the point. Taking the drama and unreasonable behaviour around the kids is.

Cheeseyminky · 28/12/2025 12:16

Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement, it really does mean a lot.

I won’t pretend it hasn’t felt a bit wobbly at times, but not so wobbly that I’ve wanted to make contact or go back on my decision.

I don't have a support network where I live. Its just me and the kids. I only have one close friend nearby, and the rest of my family and friends are at the other end of the country. I think spending some time with them will really help, and who knows, maybe in time I’ll even think about moving back nearer to home, but no snap decisions.

I just need to let everything settle and make sense of what’s happened.

One thing I am certain about is that I won’t ever contact him. I’m looking forward to a new year knowing that it will be peaceful.

OP posts:
xAwaywiththefairiesx · 28/12/2025 12:18

Cheeseyminky · 28/12/2025 12:16

Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement, it really does mean a lot.

I won’t pretend it hasn’t felt a bit wobbly at times, but not so wobbly that I’ve wanted to make contact or go back on my decision.

I don't have a support network where I live. Its just me and the kids. I only have one close friend nearby, and the rest of my family and friends are at the other end of the country. I think spending some time with them will really help, and who knows, maybe in time I’ll even think about moving back nearer to home, but no snap decisions.

I just need to let everything settle and make sense of what’s happened.

One thing I am certain about is that I won’t ever contact him. I’m looking forward to a new year knowing that it will be peaceful.

I hope you are having a lovely time with your family. Do consider moving to be near them, a support network is so important when you have children, especially as a single parent.

In the meantime, we are your support, and we're proud of you xx

Aprilfountain · 28/12/2025 12:19

If he spoke to me like that in MY house, in front of MY kids, it would be game over for good. But not before you tell him exactly what you think of him!! 🤬

Bigboldfont · 28/12/2025 12:22

Well done for getting him gone and for putting yourself and your kids first OP. I wish you a peaceful and happy 2026.

QuaintMauveCrow · 28/12/2025 12:22

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 18:56

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement and support.

I have blocked him on everything and I have changed the locks (I did this after the concert) I've also charged up my ring camera and made sure its online.

Tomorrow am heading off to spend time with family and friends for new year, last minute decision but I will have a lovely new year. If he comes round after being blocked there will be nobody here.

Just wanted to say obviously he wasnt a massive thundercunt from the outset. In the beginning he was amazing, he was communicative, supportive, empathetic, funny, thoughtful, romantic, generous... you kind of get the picture and when he got to meet my kids (after dating for over a year) he was great with the kids and the kids enjoyed spending time with him... but slowly over the last maybe 3-4 months his personality has started to change there was always an excuse for his arseholeness, I'm tired, I'm not feeling well, I'm snappy because I'm in pain... blah blah blah...

His behaviour was becoming more and more self centred and he seemed to be becoming irritated by trivial things.

I was going to end it after the concert but I felt bad that he'd be by himself. I did have a thought that he might have caused drama purely because he was told not to! Hindsight is great isn’t it. I should have just ended it when I changed the locks.

Looking forward to a great new year and 2026 with out an extra arsehole!

I completely relate to this and can happily say that 8 months after ending it for good ( he is my youngest daughters father, but has not seen her in this time ) life is amazing without dealing with his emotionally immature crap!
onwards and upwards to a fabulous 2026! ❤️

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 28/12/2025 12:23

Just dump him, he sounds fucking awful. Is he adding anything to your life except unwanted drama? If you carry on seeing him you only have yourself to blame for your unhappiness, because it's obvious he's awful. Your poor kids.

Cheeseyminky · 28/12/2025 12:28

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 28/12/2025 12:18

I hope you are having a lovely time with your family. Do consider moving to be near them, a support network is so important when you have children, especially as a single parent.

In the meantime, we are your support, and we're proud of you xx

Thank you, that just made me cry xx

OP posts:
Cheeseyminky · 28/12/2025 12:31

QuaintMauveCrow · 28/12/2025 12:22

I completely relate to this and can happily say that 8 months after ending it for good ( he is my youngest daughters father, but has not seen her in this time ) life is amazing without dealing with his emotionally immature crap!
onwards and upwards to a fabulous 2026! ❤️

Yes! Onwards and upwards to us and our kids. 2026 is going to be an amazing year xx

OP posts:
Cheeseyminky · 28/12/2025 12:35

Aprilfountain · 28/12/2025 12:19

If he spoke to me like that in MY house, in front of MY kids, it would be game over for good. But not before you tell him exactly what you think of him!! 🤬

Oh dont get me wrong I'd love to give him a piece of my mind but I think never ever speaking to him again is the best way to deal with him. I’m not wasting my breath on him.

OP posts:
CelestialCandyfloss · 28/12/2025 12:37

I hope this was the last time you saw him. Thank goodness you don't live together. Seems like the rubbish took itself out...glad you had a nice Christmas with your kids.

Swipe left for the next trending thread