To be worried I’ve let DS down here and to ask what number of gifts for a four year old?!?

[BreuLp]

I work full time and have dc 4 full time. Ex is involved (will see him Boxing Day) but it’s all rather hands off. I say this only to put into context that I’ve been really busy the last few weeks and basically… I think I’ve fucked up.

Just finished wrapping his presents and put them into his Christmas bag and filled his smaller stocking. In total there’s about 10 presents in the bag and another 6 in the stocking. Cost around 80 all in.

I hadn’t given it loads of thought. I’ve got some things I think he will like and had asked for but I’ve just been scrolling on Instagram and oh my god… there are photos of MOUNTAINS of presents. One video was showing this huge pile of gifts which I assumed was for both of the poster’s kids. Turned out it was one side of the room and the other side had the same for the second child!

I have no financial worries at all and realistically dc could have had anything. I’ve just been a bit lazy and I don’t like to buy things for the sake of it. I’m not mean day to day, I often buy him things, but I am now worried he is going to compare with nursery pals and get a sense he’s not as important to Santa or something?!

That’s plenty. Stop scrolling- it’s all for views and likes.

Also I just want to re iterate that when I say a mountain of gifts I am not exaggerating, there was probably close to 100 gifts for each child, you honestly could not see the room

Mine have got 20 (they are older) and I think I've gone over the top. Your amount sounds just fine. I think we did the same at that age.

@PeloMom i am just worried ds will go into nursery and feel less than. I think he has got enough but I also don’t want him feeling anything negative

People posting mountains of gifts are vulgar idiots. Buying tonnes of gifts devalues them all and would not add to his enjoyment of the day. YANBU with your gifting but YABU to worry.

You must see this is insane? Your son is far too little to compare with friends and you've got him plenty anyway. Why would you actively encourage your son to be greedy and demanding?

You spending Christmas with your son, being the loving mother you want to be is more important than other people’s presents. 16 is fine in any case. Have a lovely day tomorrow.

No child is going to appreciate mountains of gifts like that.

My parents used to do gift mountains. My sister and I used to get a sofa full of presents each. Its not something I've carried forward for my own children, read into that what you will!

@Taweofterror well yes I would have thought that but it seems the norm from what I’m seeing!

You must also know as an adult that mountains of 'stuff" doesn't buy happiness?

I get it but a) doesn’t mean all wrapped is actual gifts and not empty bags/ boxes and b) a 4 yr old will only get overwhelmed and barely touch any of the stuff bar 1-2 items and the rest will be a memory (and junk laying around). What conversations exactly you think 4 year olds are having???

It's usually around 7 gifts each for our children from us. They then have a stocking plus a slightly bigger gift from Santa.

They get gifts from other family too. What we give is more than enough and by the time y oh factor in the extra it is too mucb tbh.

4 year olds don't compare with nursery pals

Do you really think your 4 year old will discuss the quantities of nursery presents with other kids at nursery in several days time and have the emotional intelligence to equate that to how important he is to Santa? There’s always a lot of these posts at Christmas on here and honestly they feel like stealth boasts ‘I don’t go OTT, aren’t I great’.

Yes your kid will be happy, yes social media is crazy, yes you are great for keeping it traditional with less pointless stuff.

Other people’s Christmas piles don’t pop up on my social media at all because I don’t interact with that sort of crap, so if you don’t like it stop watching it

@stackhead a sofa full each?!? That’s is mind boggling too… it does make me feel I’ve been mean to ds though!

I am now worried he is going to compare with nursery pals and get a sense he’s not as important to Santa or something

Nursery children don’t have the attention spans to listen to each other list off all the presents they got. They’ll just talk about the presents they were most excited about. They also have no idea about relative value, so can’t compare in that sense either. You have another couple of years before you have to worry about things getting competitive from a quantity/value perspective.

16 presents is loads! Did you write Santa letters together? As long as there'll be pieces he's excited to unwrap, the monetary value or amount doesn't matter.

My soon to be 4 year old came down to breakfast at the weekend, saw one present wrapped on the table (a birthday present for FIL) and a bottle of juice left out (he's usually not allowed to have) and nearly cried with excitement Santa had been and given him juice. I was half tempted to roll with it!

If you want to give it a bit more atmosphere blow up a few balloons to toss around, or hang leftover ribbon from the ceiling. Icing sugar shoe prints are an easy winner too.

Both my DC get 4 gifts from us, one gift and a stocking from Father Christmas. It’s plenty.

Believe me when I say, he will go back to nursery in 2 weeks and have forgotten how many presents he had. They probably won’t even talk about Christmas that much in January! You’re being way too hard on yourself. Have a lovely time with your son 😊

DS is 3.5. He has one big Father Christmas present and about six things in a stocking. He’s also got about six presents from me and DH, as well as six presents in total from both sets of grandparents and his uncles.

I think that’s plenty, to be honest - in fact, he’s probably going to find it overwhelming, so I certainly don’t think he needs more!

They won’t even discuss it at school, they have over week off & that may aswell be a lifetime. You’re not a bad mom. You’re a sensible one. If you can afford more it’ll be best spent in premium bonds anyway. Set him up a go Henry card when he’s old enough & everytime he wins he can see the benefits. Don’t compare yourself to others. More than 10 presents is ridiculous

Some families get presents from two sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, uncle Tom Cobley. Ours never did, the pile of presents was just what we got so probably smaller. They really don't need 100s of presents at any age and it's a waste.
Instagram is dreadful, unfollow these people and forget it.

It isn't the norm! You've watched or looked at a picture on Instagram of a pile of presents and now the algorithm is showing you more of the same, as it does.

@ToKittyornottoKitty sorry you think my post is about boasting that I’ve not bought loads? I’m a single parent and was scrolling, no harm in it!

@Taweofterror that’s a v v good point!