To be worried I’ve let DS down here and to ask what number of gifts for a four year old?!?

[BreuLp]

I work full time and have dc 4 full time. Ex is involved (will see him Boxing Day) but it’s all rather hands off. I say this only to put into context that I’ve been really busy the last few weeks and basically… I think I’ve fucked up.

Just finished wrapping his presents and put them into his Christmas bag and filled his smaller stocking. In total there’s about 10 presents in the bag and another 6 in the stocking. Cost around 80 all in.

I hadn’t given it loads of thought. I’ve got some things I think he will like and had asked for but I’ve just been scrolling on Instagram and oh my god… there are photos of MOUNTAINS of presents. One video was showing this huge pile of gifts which I assumed was for both of the poster’s kids. Turned out it was one side of the room and the other side had the same for the second child!

I have no financial worries at all and realistically dc could have had anything. I’ve just been a bit lazy and I don’t like to buy things for the sake of it. I’m not mean day to day, I often buy him things, but I am now worried he is going to compare with nursery pals and get a sense he’s not as important to Santa or something?!

I dislike the pictures of children surrounded by presents. It is crass. Your lot sounds perfect

I had my daughter’s birthday 10 days ago and I have overall bought her 22 presents- split into seperate 11 each day birthday and Christmas. Her dad has also done around 20 presents so she has 20 presents each day but most are mine are dolls arts and crafts and I spent £500. It’s not a big pile and doesn’t look overwhelming. I have done what I can and I still don’t think it’s enough but I have to remember I’d probably do what I’ve done for both days in one day if they were months apart. However we all do what we can and do as we wish so please don’t feel bad. Your child will be happy with everything you’ve got x

16 is loads but I’m amazed that it only cost a total of £80. What was the main present? Averages at a few £ each where it mint has been better to get fewer decent gifts like Lego sets, playmobile etc

Honestly, those kids will not remember all those presents and won’t got in and list everything. Of they even mentions presents by the time they go back to school/nursery they will talk about the 1 or 2 favourite gifts only.

10 presents plus 6 in a stocking is plenty and your son is going to love opening them. Too many and they do get bored opening them.

As a child, I received one “big” present and a stocking. Maybe some smaller presents from siblings. Often my present was birthday and Christmas combined - a bicycle, or a new saddle for my horse. Not huge piles!

Mine looks ott, but they get a lot of stuff they would get anyway (e.g. Pants).
When they were old enough weave them a choice in getting things like that just when they needed them, and choosing or me chops by and being wrapped up. They all chose wrapped.
I"he even put school uniform in!

It means they have what looks like a huge like to open, but the expense over what they'd need anyway isn't much.

At 4yo they'd always have had:
Pants, socks, toothbrush, pyjamas, slippers, dressing gown, plus lunchbox/waterbottle/pencilcase if needed

All things I would have needed to buy anyway, but a good start to presents.

This whole competitive number of presents has to stop. It’s absolutely ridiculous, are people wrapping individual sweets of boxes now just to have that “pile”???

I agree.
Why the hell would anyone want to emulate the vacuous individuals on social media like Instagram? Pointless and pathetic.

Same here and the same with our DCs when they were young.
All the ridiculous overbuying does is encourage greed and waste. It certainly won’t be appreciated by the recipient.
My sibling’s children have grown up to be utterly selfish, greedy and grabbing individuals because of the sheer overindulgence by their parents, leading to an expectation that is obnoxious.

Sorry, he’s four years old.

He’s not going to have an in depth conversation about this at Nursery, critiquing and comparing.. He will probably have more fun with the wrapping paper anyways.

Stop scrolling and very kindly, give your head a wobble.

Have a wonderful day with your cub x

It’s all for show. The main thing is he has a loving home and time with people who love him. For every mountain of presents there will be a child with none or one, someone feeling unloved or unsafe etc etc. Focus on what’s important

FGS; he’s 4.

I went a bit OTT one year, OP, not mountains, but definitely too much. It was the Covid Christmas year and I got carried away with buying my way out of the misery. DC was almost 4 at the time and was completely overloaded by it all!

There's no way kids can process or appreciate so many gifts. They rip of the paper and move on to the next one. My LO ended up stressed by it all. Not the reaction I'd hoped for, but I learned my lesson.

I think your gifts sound plenty!there is a dreadful culture of boastfulness on SM.all of these gifts won't be used anyway. A TV doctors wife is not buying her 3 girls Christmas presents. She is worried about landfill.Relax and enjoy your little boy .Merry Christmas 🎄

Less is more. Too many presents = sensory overload = kicking off = magic ruined = you feel shit

I also wonder what will become of these 100 or so gifts? When will they be used/played with? Where will they be stored? The thought makes me stressed!!

Parents who do this don’t want to think it but many kidsesp little ones get overwhelmed by such amounts of piles of presents. Honestly the thrill of opening disappears, they can’t actually concentrate on what they have and half or even most of it isn’t needed. Your son is 4 he will love it. It’s a good amount to seem a lot and i’m sure he will be very happy.

It’s not just about gifts, it’s about the family spending time together. Making memories is the cringe saying but it is true. My memories of Christmas as a child aren’t all the gifts, it was the excitement, the food we didn’t have all year round, seeing family, decorating the tinsel tree, watching films, not being at school etc

But is it the norm that you want to teach your little boy? Christmas is for family not vulgar consumerism. Your boy will love his gifts and won’t even think to compare with tik tok boasts.

The number of presents thing just makes me think of Harry Potter and Dudley’s birthday. As pp’s have said it can actually be too much for some kids. Also agree that you don’t know what’s in those gifts, some wrap things that others might treat as ‘normal’ stuff given through the year. Quantity doesn’t necessarily mean quality. Quantity doesn’t necessarily mean a bigger budget. You have a lot of gifts and more importantly things you know he will like.

You are well on your way of teaching them the price of something and the value of it. 16 gifts for a 4yo and you think it’s not enough? Awful

How many 4 year olds do you know that would count the number of gifts they got, remember that number and then share and compare with other 4 year olds?

You are being utterly daft. As an adult you need to realise when social media is having a negative effect on you and step away.