To be worried I’ve let DS down here and to ask what number of gifts for a four year old?!?

[BreuLp]

I work full time and have dc 4 full time. Ex is involved (will see him Boxing Day) but it’s all rather hands off. I say this only to put into context that I’ve been really busy the last few weeks and basically… I think I’ve fucked up.

Just finished wrapping his presents and put them into his Christmas bag and filled his smaller stocking. In total there’s about 10 presents in the bag and another 6 in the stocking. Cost around 80 all in.

I hadn’t given it loads of thought. I’ve got some things I think he will like and had asked for but I’ve just been scrolling on Instagram and oh my god… there are photos of MOUNTAINS of presents. One video was showing this huge pile of gifts which I assumed was for both of the poster’s kids. Turned out it was one side of the room and the other side had the same for the second child!

I have no financial worries at all and realistically dc could have had anything. I’ve just been a bit lazy and I don’t like to buy things for the sake of it. I’m not mean day to day, I often buy him things, but I am now worried he is going to compare with nursery pals and get a sense he’s not as important to Santa or something?!

When mine were 4, their favourite presents were a small dog stuffie and a small box with a few hot wheels cars in.

They don't compare at that age. They don't ask - how many did you get. They just get on with their life!

You sound like you've don't wonderfully for your little one. Enjoy your day tomorrow

I disagree. I could buy my children anything they wanted. Don’t assume the children with less are from a poorer family. Those with less tend to be the ones who feel the need to show off the most and post it all over social media. I don’t have any friends who do this but I’ve seen the pics on here in the past and it’s cringeworthy.

I don’t think anybody needs a mountain of presents but how did you buy 16 presents for £80 ?

It's worrying that you think that's something to aspire to.

Piles of presents, 100 per child, is crass, materialistic, consumerist and shows that the parents don't give two hoots about the environment or what they are teaching their offspring. Quantity not quality. All for the social media.

Urgh. Makes me quite nauseous.

Do people really still do the present pile photos? I don’t have a single one on my FB or Insta.

I’ve seen loads of these posts tonight and said the same thing to my dh. I’ve panicked I’ve not bought enough for my two kids but my dh reminded me that we bought what they asked for in their letter to Santa. They each picked out 3 gifts from Santa and my 3 year old is learning that the big gifts come from mummy and daddy.
she’s asked for the same toy non stop so I know in the morning when she see’s the toy she will be so excited and nothing else will matter . A mountain of toys means nothing in the end!

By boxing day young kids can't remember what they got for Christmas! Same as when teachers etc ask what they did over holidays. You could take them on 100 days out and something minor like a trip to pakr is what they'll remember

I didn’t actually assume anything about people’s finances - a Christmas budget is set by a more than just income, as you’ve just stated yourself.

If he's nursery age then you've done exactly what we've done. My 2 year old will enjoy a few things she can give her attention to far more than a pile that overwhelms her. When she's older we may buy more.

I would give one present and a stocking.

Trust your parenting more OP. You’ve chosen things you know DS will enjoy yes?? You don’t want to overwhelm him so you’ve given him what he can cope with yes?

Everyone does things differently. Because we all know our own kids best and have different values. You will have a great day and so will DS

4 year olds will not be comparing the number of presents they got. Many of them can't even count past 10 yet! Yabu! The children you are seeing are spoilt and won't use most of the gifts they receive.

4 year olds will not be comparing the number of presents they got. Many of them can't even count past 10 yet! Yabu! The children you are seeing are spoilt and won't use most of the gifts they receive.

My 4yo has a stocking (actually only half full) with pens, chockies, colouring books, toy cars etc (most from poundland), and a 'sack' (again only half full), with about 5/6 gifts in (1 from us, 1 from cousins (were spending xmas with), 1 from brother, 1 from grandparents, oh, and santa and a few mess free pen things). It's really not that much, I don't think (compared to what I know some kids get), but the grandparents are flabbergasted as to how much they have.

Really don't over think it. They're 4, ANYTHING is exciting wrapped up when you're 4... and it's the magic of it. It appeared OVERNIGHT!!

Thank God I never got Instagram, we don't need to be comparing ourselves to anyone (as parents we have enough self-doubt as it is!).

You've done great!!

I voted wrong sorry! You can always go bigger the next year- but it’s harder to scale back
You are teaching your child to appreciate what they have
excess just add to overwhelm and more to tidy!

How on earth would a 4 year know enough to be able to remember what they got let alone compare and have an existential crisis over it, even the endless 'my child is bright' said by a billion parents

They are 4, good grief

Oh he we go.

Why does he need loads of Xmas presents .
Sick of these awful threads.

No child needs 100 presents. They are probably filled with plastic cheap tat.

It's plenty!

I always aim for around ten presents plus small stocking each. Hundreds of presents are overwhelming to open and where do you store it all?

Do you really want your kid growing up with a mountain of presents? Ask that same kid a few days after Christmas to list what they received and they wouldn’t be able to list half of it. No child is going to go into nursery and list what presents they got or how many. They probably won’t even talk about it! Don’t worry about other people, as long as your child will be happy with what they’ve got then that’s all that matters.

This is absolute lunacy. Reminds me of Dudley Dursley's present room.

One present would be fine.

Stop mourning over Insta fakery and focus on making a lovely day. If you ask 'what did I give you for Christmas' in a few weeks, I'd bet your child would find it hard to remember.

Don’t be so bloody daft. What you have is fine. Your dc don’t need any more.

Voted YANBU to give this much - sounds fine esp as you’re only one of the parents x

We’re abroad so 4 year old DS has opened his. He had four here from us/Santa and two from grandparents, plus 4-5 bits in his stocking. He has another two back home.

He opened one thing and loved it so much that he had to be coaxed into opening more. I guarantee he will not remember by nursery return what he got.