To be worried I’ve let DS down here and to ask what number of gifts for a four year old?!?

[BreuLp]

I work full time and have dc 4 full time. Ex is involved (will see him Boxing Day) but it’s all rather hands off. I say this only to put into context that I’ve been really busy the last few weeks and basically… I think I’ve fucked up.

Just finished wrapping his presents and put them into his Christmas bag and filled his smaller stocking. In total there’s about 10 presents in the bag and another 6 in the stocking. Cost around 80 all in.

I hadn’t given it loads of thought. I’ve got some things I think he will like and had asked for but I’ve just been scrolling on Instagram and oh my god… there are photos of MOUNTAINS of presents. One video was showing this huge pile of gifts which I assumed was for both of the poster’s kids. Turned out it was one side of the room and the other side had the same for the second child!

I have no financial worries at all and realistically dc could have had anything. I’ve just been a bit lazy and I don’t like to buy things for the sake of it. I’m not mean day to day, I often buy him things, but I am now worried he is going to compare with nursery pals and get a sense he’s not as important to Santa or something?!

He wont be looking at instagram. That will be plenty!

The kids arent going to show him photos- hes 4

The toy my 8yo is most excited about is an £8 fiddle toy. If asked what she got for Christmas I fully expect her to name max 1 or 2 of the presents she received. And it might be the cheapest one.

Your 4yo will be delighted and not overwhelmed, you are instilling an appreciation of quality over quantity and that 'stuff' is not what brings happiness, your house won't be bursting with things no one wants or plays with.

Your son isn’t on Instagram comparing present mountains! Most of it will be ignored or go to landfill, kids don’t need all that tat!

That's grotesque. They won't appreciate them, They'll get either overwhelmed or blasé. And it feeds really unhealthy and unrealistic exectations as well as a horrible focus on materialism.
10 presents, plus time to actually play with each of them, and time with family playing games. going for walks etc is way better than a mountain of tat.

My son is 5 (in year 1), so a bit older but he has 10 presents under the tree - 2 from Santa and 8 from us. He does receive other gifts from family, but he has opened some of those today as he gets too overwhelmed if he has too many presents in one day.
I wouldn't even worry about what other people would say. Too many people wrap stuff just so they can "show off" (somebody I know wrapped a toothbrush as a Christmas gift for their 4 year old)

We did our tree presents today as was our main family day. DS is 4 and had about eight things and he's only opened three. He's far too into playing with what he has so far. I don't think he'd care if that was it! He's getting a stocking tomorrow but most of it is second hand anyway.

Kids at that age don't talk about what they've got or remember it at all!

He is tiny! He’s not asking how many presents his pals at nursery got. Seriously, you’re doing absolutely fine.

DH and I both bought stuff independently this year and between us we had too much, I have kept quite a bit back for birthdays. I don't think the living rooms full of presents thing is a good idea honestly, the kids would be overwhelmed and wouldn't appreciate anything.

Santa gives a toothbrush to my kids every year 🤣 it's tradition here, I also had the same as a kid.

Our DC are bit older, primary school age. We've done a bit of both over the years and definitely now sway to less is more, especially for under the tree presents. Less overwhelmed, get gifts they actually want without the padding out presents that just clutters the house up for the next couple of years. We still do more than some and but also a lot less than others. Ours do get quite large stockings but that's a lot more scaled back that it has been too and more select better quality things instead.

Don't compare, you will have a happy DC in the morning and that's all that matters

Sounds fine! Kids don’t need mountains of gifts and that would be overwhelming for a 4 year old anyway.
Mine have always had 1-2 “main” presents then a few smaller gifts and stocking fillers like chocolate coins

The children at my daughter's pre-school age 3/4 didn't compare amount of presents. They might mention their one biggest or favourite present to their best friend and that was it.

Oh come on. This is totally obviously not normal.

Don't worry. Four year olds are notoriously unreliable narrators. Mine will probably tell everyone there were a "billion fousand" presents because it's his favourite number at the moment. He will actually have about the same amount as you describe, which I think is a completely normal number.

IME nursery/school staff are tactful enough as they are aware children in class will receive different amounts of presents and some don't celebrate Christmas. Children at this age also remember stuff completely randomly so may well tell staff excitedly about the fortune telling fish they got in a cracker and omit the £££ presents lovingly chosen by parents!

Our budget is higher but when the older DC were 4, £80 was about the budget we had. Christmas was still magical. Don't worry!

My children got and still do get a lot less than we could easily afford. I wanted them to value time with family more than ‘stuff’. I also wanted them to have heathy savings accounts for going to uni.Most of their Xmas money from family was saved. No child needs all the Disney dolls or a dozen Barbies etc. Mine had a main gift and then 3 or 4 other things to unwrap. Then a stocking with socks, chocolate, small Lego etc . Honestly you are doing Christmas the right way. Consumerism is killing the planet.

Well thats just a ridiculous amount. What is a kid even going to do with that many things?

At 4 he will have very few expectations, if any! He's not scrolling on Insta!

threads like this always seem to become a pile on towards people who have larger Christmas budgets, which is just as mean spirited as judging people who don’t.

it sounds like your child has plenty OP, and I wouldn’t pay any attention to insta posts and what the ‘norm’ is - because really the norm is household dependent.

also, I’ve never heard my children discuss quantity of presents with anyone - be that the cousins they see later in the day, or friends they see a few days after Christmas.

your son will be over the moon in the morning, 4 is such a magical age. Enjoy!

Look unless you're a totally shit parent (and you're clearly not) your kid probably isn't on social media, so wont be comparing his pile of presents to everyone else's. He will be delighted with his presents, and you really need to get off social media and focus on your own life.

My 4 yr old has 2 big ISH presents (a keyboard and a doll that walks) then a couple of smaller gifts (she wanted an ironing board so I got her one and some doll clothes) then she has her stocking which is mostly craft bits and sweeties. Which is a totally normal amount where we are which is a relatively affluent area. What you've seen online isn't standard.

My four year old has got around 10 presents in his stocking - 2 of these are new packs of socks 😂 He has three presents from us under the tree. Most bought from the Lidl wooden toy sale so probably about a similar amount of money. He will get overwhelmed with more tbh. A four year old doesn’t know the value of things anyway.

Your dc is too young to compare amounts of gifts, and by the time s/he returns to nursery, Christmas will be a distant memory and the kids are unlikely to even mention Christmas presents.

As for people posting present piles on social media…quite honestly it’s cringey, boastful and wasteful. Besides, why would any child need a mountain of gifts? The majority won’t be played with/used/appreciated.

My dc have 6 gifts each totalling £200 (per 6 gifts) plus a stocking with maybe 8 gifts each. That’s plenty for them.

At 4 both mine were happier playing with the boxes than the toys!! My (teens) have 10, honestly its fine!!

I don't know how your voting works but yabu to worry and Yanbu to buy presents that your son will enjoy rather than a mountain of stuff that will overwhelm him

100 presents must be completely overwhelming to almost any child. It also just makes them noise. What the fuck would you do with 100 presents? Where would you keep it all?! No thanks.

My DC are a bit older (13 and 10) but have 6 presents each from us, one of which is a voucher.

They also have stockings with 5 smaller presents in, plus a bunch of sweet treats.

I have spent a bit more than you - about £150 each total - but at a younger age we spent about £60-70.

Nah that's fine OP.

You've just got the fear. It's the Christmas adrenaline wearing off. Don't worry.