To be upset about Christmas?

[andanotherproblem]

I have a 1.5 year old and it’s DP’s year to work, me and DD are going to my parents. I was going to get a taxi but they insisted on giving us a lift, now another family member will be passing us around 1 so they have asked her to pick us up along the way. DD goes to bed at 7 and we live 30-40 minutes away so would have to leave around 6. I feel upset by this as we will be spending majority of the day alone now, aibu to just not even bother going?

Maybe your parents dont want you there early has that occurred to you? Lots of parents work xmas their kids dont miss out on opening presents xmas morning you are cutting off your nose to spite your face and frankly being selfish .
Do what my brother and sil did and take a travel cot for baby to nap when they need to !

The host get to decide when people turn up maybe they dont want her there early and they're the doormats that daren't tell her you sound like a right CF that expects everyone to bend to their whims and wants !

This is unnecessarily aggressive. You have no knowledge as to why OP doesn’t drive, and they are plenty of valid reasons why she might not.

I have “uncontrolled seizures”, I’m actually medicated, but all the medication does is reduce the number I have, not eliminate them completely, and I still have them frequently enough that I’m not allowed, by law, to drive. Get off your soapbox.

@Veganornotvegan totally agree could be a load of reasons why Op doesn't drive, inc cost, cars aren't exactly cheap.

@andanotherproblem How is it go?
Being curious are you planning on hosting anyone Boxing Day or is that just a special day for 3?

I don't drive. I'm single. Me not driving doesn't impact anyone else in my family. I get a lift every so often from my wee brother to the football - he picks me up on the way there as he goes to visit my mum every week and I live near by. He knows I would get the bus myself though if he didn't offer.

He didn't pass his test until he was 37. Sat it when he was 22. Failed. But he used to live a ten minute walk away from work. He only learned to drive as he was looking for jobs out of the area but in the end he's stayed with his current employer.

I certainly don't live in a town where we have 24/7 transport links but it's decent enough.

There have been times in my life where I wouldn't have been able to afford to run a car - or get driving lessons -now is one of those times.

My mum doesn't drive either. Failed her test young and didn't sit it again. We were actually talking about this the other night -the only time I wish I could drive is in the winter when I'm standing freezing at bus stops.

I actually have a disabled bus pass that still has another 20 months to go on it that gives me free bus travel - and that gives me freedom although in previous times I have always bought a bus pass.

BTW. I am a shit driver. I took some lessons in my early 20s and I struggled badly. I might try again at some point when my financial situation changes. I don't have a partner btw so I don't expect people to ferry me about.

You'll be there by 2 and leaving at 6. That's a long enough visit I would think. If you want longer try to let DC sleep at GPs house and get a taxi while asleep, I've often done this and transferred sleepy baby quickly into their own bed. At worst they wake up and need some comforting. I don't agree kids routine should be that rigid that you can't take part in big days or celebrations.

Edited because I meant to quote @Needspaceforlego to agree with their message.

And it’s from such a place of ignorant privilege for @Fishingboatbobbingnight to say “Inevitably there will now be a slew of justifications as to why you aren’t driving. If it’s expense then that’s bollox. Sacrifice your holiday this year”, as though everyone has holidays each year! As though people simply need to budget better! As though some people aren’t living paycheque to paycheque! It’s infuriating!

I remember my DC getting easily overwhelmed at this age. There were too many gifts and too much noise and relatives houses were always far too hot. We stayed 6 hours and it was always just that bit too long. OP your parents are busy prepping/ cooking etc and dont want an hours' round trip at a busy time of day 🤷‍♀️ I don't really see the problem. Also do you not drive or have your own car?

@andanotherproblem

What did you do in the end?

I was wondering why you couldn't drive there and back - maybe you don't drive, maybe you and DP only have one car between you and he used it to get to work and back, maybe some other reason... but in future if your DP is likely to be working again on days like Christmas then it might be good for you to have the option to drive you and DD places, if at all possible.

With a 1.5 year old I'd be thinking about nap timings, I can't remember off the top of my head whether it's one nap or two at that age? But if one nap around 1pm would be a good time to be driving as they could nap in the car. I'd probably take toddler out to the park in the morning, some fresh air and exercise to tire them out, then an early lunch, then they can nap during the drive to parents - then I think the toddler would be easier to manage during the afternoon so I'd have a better chance of being able to chat to the adults, enjoy the meal, etc. And I'd take the toddler's toothbrush and PJs so I could get them ready for bed before driving home - then I'd transfer toddler into their bed when we got home.