To be upset about Christmas?

[andanotherproblem]

I have a 1.5 year old and it’s DP’s year to work, me and DD are going to my parents. I was going to get a taxi but they insisted on giving us a lift, now another family member will be passing us around 1 so they have asked her to pick us up along the way. DD goes to bed at 7 and we live 30-40 minutes away so would have to leave around 6. I feel upset by this as we will be spending majority of the day alone now, aibu to just not even bother going?

Thats not assertive, its rude.
She doesn't get to decide by herself what time she shows up at someone else's home. It should be by mutual agreement. So many posters on here are so rude and haven't considered that maybe the hosts don't want guests until the afternoon. Whatever happened to "your house, your rules"?

@andanotherproblem just call your parents and ask if they would mind if you came over earlier via taxi

just book a taxi for 11am

So, ask your parents if it is OK to get there earlier then book a taxi.

Can you just be honest and say to your parents you were hoping to come earlier because of the reasons you’ve mentioned and ask if they’ve arranged this because it suits them for you to come later for some reason? Just be honest. If you have a good relationship with them there’s no point hopping around and feeling hurt without giving them the chance to explain and/or understand your perspective.

All of this

I honestly don't know why you're upset by this. They are prepping in the morning and your arriving at lunchtime. Perfectly reasonable. Someone is driving so they've suggested they pick you up.

You aren't on your own , you're with your child until lunchtime. You are being utterly ridiculous and very selfish, perhaps it's too much for your parents having a little one while they're prepping
Children don't adhere to normal bedtimes at Christmas why are you so inflexible? Just put in PJs let them sleep there and take them home when you want

I would let little one have an extra nap in the daytime and keep them awake a bit later in the evening. Tell your parents you’ll be getting a taxi at a time that suits you. Nobody needs to be offended or upset.

Phone your mum and talk to her, did you expect to go early morning? Without actually taking to her you don’t know the reasons.

if it has to be 1pm, then you can have a lovely morning with your daughter, bake some gingerbread men or do some crafty thing. Spend time getting ready make it fun start some traditional thing you can do in future years when daddy is working.

at your mums - take pjs and a blanket- my grandchildren often fall asleep at my house and wake up the next day at home.

Personally I would be mortified to be an adult human competent enough to parent a child - but still requires a parent to collect them .. learn to drive !! So many women on MN - yes women .. who seem to be living in the 19 bloody 50s where the partner drives and they don’t . Leaving them in this type of dependency on others .
Inevitably there will now be a slew of justifications as to why you aren’t driving. If it’s expense then that’s bollox. Sacrifice your holiday this year in preference to life long independence. Your partner can drive because he prioritised it. !

If your excuse is health , then unless you have serious sight issues , uncontrolled daytime seizures /central tremor. Then sorry , it’s not an excuse. No im sorry but ‘I’m too anxious’ won’t cut it. My youngest took 5 tries to get her test . Not because she was a shit driver but because she is overcome with nerves . However she knew how important it would be to her life, so ploughed on until she passed.

My neighbour is wheelchair bound with spina bifida. Has a motorbility car specially adapted. This is open to anyone whose medical condition affects their mobility. FGS - my 78 year old one eyed Aunt drives herself around the country . Time to get a grip and take your independence seriously.

The only people who don’t need to drive are those that live in the utopia of 24/7 public transport. You don’t need to OWN a car as there are car clubs, hire options etc but needing another adult to facilitate your movements is really not acceptable in 2025.

40 minutes in a taxi and it's probably going to be double the fare for Christmas? Where I live that would be at least twelve quid for a two mile journey at Christmas

I'd be taking the lift. And as someone else said you might need to pre book

Control your own life.
How do you manage if you can not say - No, thank you, We are getting there earlier via taxi - to an arranged ride?
Pack some pyjamas for child.

Well tell them not to bother, you'll sort your own transport.

Its the offer of a lift, not a court summons. You are allowed to refuse and make your own arrangements.

"Aww thank you but ill come earlier so tell Sharon its fine, no need to collect me"

I’m dumbfounded by the sheer level of passiveness being shown by women on these threads this year. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just resolve it! Book a taxi and explain to your parents “thank you for the offer of the lift but I want to start the celebrations earlier!” Assuming you’re confident they’re happy for you to be there earlier. Honestly it’s not rocket science, start as you mean to go on and be more assertive.

Mountains and molehills spring to mind.

The price on Christmas day?

Think you are making unnecessary drama.
They were probably trying to be helpful.in sorting out a lift for you.. If you aren't happy with the arrangement- sort your own out.

That would be pretty rude. It would, however, be fine to ask if they would mind if you get there earlier as you would like to enjoy some of the morning together if that works for them.

Double check with your parents. They may have been strong armed into it too.

You can see why though as well from this thread. Posters suggesting being assertive is rude. These same posters are probably raising daughters. Vicious circle.

Why are people made to feel guilty if they don’t drive? If they know their limitations, feel they would not make a good confident driver, then they’re better off not driving. It’s not for everyone.

Well it is rude to tell someone you are going to turn up to their home at a different time to the invite without asking. It isn't rude to ask if you can change plans, or to choose not to go.

They probably think they are doing you a favour, as a taxi on Christmas Day where I live are triple tariff. A 30-40 minute taxi ride would cost a small fortune. That may feel worth it to you for a couple of extra hours of company, and they just don’t realise. Others have suggested alternative ways of having longer with your parents though, if that would work for you and them.

Being assertive isn't necessarily rude, arriving hours earlier than you have been invited to on your own accord is rude. I can see lots of reasons why the people who are hosting would prefer to have the morning to themselves to prep in peace, I don't see how it's acceptable for a guest to take it upon themself to decide what time they should arrive.

Wrong post