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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uninvited guests. People expecting to be invited into your home unnanou

107 replies

Owlmoonstar · 23/12/2025 18:57

How do you feel about this?

If someone knocked your door, completely expected, expecting to be invited in, would you be pissed off?

What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
SillyNavyTiger · 24/12/2025 18:29

Nincompoo · 24/12/2025 18:23

I‘m not at all busy now, I’m drinking wine and awaiting the delivery of the traditional Christmas Eve take away, I won’t be busy until I go back to work in 3 weeks.
The question wasn’t during work hours anyway was it? It was how do you feel about people popping in unannounced and my initial answer was to said that if it was Christmas I’d probably offer them wine. you’re the one that’s focussed on the work day - there are plenty of other hours in the day - more than enough time to put the kettle on.

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Work day was an example of why it's rude and inconvenient to come unannounced. How do you even know what hours people are working anyway?

It's not up to the unwanted guest to decide their poor victim has time to put the kettle on 😂

It's bloody rude to expect people to have to drop everything to entertain you

silentnight000 · 24/12/2025 18:30

Generally I don’t like unexpected visitors. I think it’s downright rude to turn up at anyone’s house and expect to come in without checking it’s ok first. I really don’t get much time to myself, and I value the occasional half hour I get with a book or trashy TV in peace more than I can say!

If it was my parents, sibling, or my PILs, I’d let them in. They can take us as they find us and if I was busy then I’d carry on around them and they could make themselves a cuppa! Even they tend to text or ring first though, because they’re considerate people!

Anyone else, no. Sod off, text me first. I am one of those people that ignores the door because I have a Ring camera and can see if it’s a delivery or an uninvited ‘popper inner’!!

Nincompoo · 24/12/2025 18:31

SillyNavyTiger · 24/12/2025 18:29

Work day was an example of why it's rude and inconvenient to come unannounced. How do you even know what hours people are working anyway?

It's not up to the unwanted guest to decide their poor victim has time to put the kettle on 😂

It's bloody rude to expect people to have to drop everything to entertain you

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I’m sorry that you don’t have anyone in your life that you’re happy to see at unexpected moments. That must really suck.

SillyNavyTiger · 24/12/2025 18:33

Nincompoo · 24/12/2025 18:31

I’m sorry that you don’t have anyone in your life that you’re happy to see at unexpected moments. That must really suck.

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😂😂😂

Oh, you are the one who comes up unannounced, not the one hosting. Suddenly makes so much more sense 😂

Nincompoo · 24/12/2025 18:42

SillyNavyTiger · 24/12/2025 18:33

😂😂😂

Oh, you are the one who comes up unannounced, not the one hosting. Suddenly makes so much more sense 😂

Show quote history

I’ll have hosted some kind of Christmas thing for 40 odd people by the end of Boxing Day so no, not really.

WonderingAndOverthinking · 25/12/2025 21:32

WonderingAndOverthinking · 24/12/2025 08:43

I also think it’s rude. Why do people think that it’s ok not to let someone know that they’re going to pop in? The other person could be in the middle of anything, the might have other people there, they might be working or in my OH’s case, sleeping off a night shift.

My OH’s uncle does this every Christmas. Never know when he’s coming, he just knocks the door and expects to come in regardless. Last year, I was right in the middle of unloading all the Christmas food shop out of the car, the kids were still in their PJs and one of them had just been to the loo so it didn’t smell great as I opened the door with him right behind me 🙈 He then wanted me to sort something out on his phone but didn’t know the password so I had no chance - bearing in mind, I see this man once a year! Infuriating.

Just because it’s convenient for you, doesn’t mean it is for me and it’s extremely rude not to check beforehand.

And they turned up this morning, just as FIL had arrived, I’m busy in the kitchen trying to sort dinner and the kids were knee deep in wrapping paper and accusingly told us that they had tried to come yesterday but we weren’t in 🤷🏻‍♀️ No, because we have two young children and surprisingly took them out on Christmas Eve as we weren’t aware that it was a convenient time for you to pop round 🤷🏻‍♀️😤

2Rebecca · 25/12/2025 22:00

If now wasn’t convenient I would tell them that. No-one I know is that rude though. It’s selfish to not sort out a mutually convenient time.

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