Uninvited guests. People expecting to be invited into your home unnanou

[Owlmoonstar]

How do you feel about this?

If someone knocked your door, completely expected, expecting to be invited in, would you be pissed off?

What would you do in this situation?

TTFO?

Do you mean 'completely UNEXPECTED' OP?

Depends who it was, what time it was, what I was doing at the time or planning to do. Need much more information!

Surely that depends on who's knocking.

I'd let them in and put kettle on/open wine.

Depends who it is surely?! Good friend or family member, they'd be invited in and I'd be happy to see them.

It wouldn't bother me but I know it's seen as a huge crime by many on here!

Yes. And I fucked the title up. Deary me.

My kids do this all the time to my mil. Some people have an open house. Others never have visitors. Depends what kind of system you run.

I find it absolutely infuriating.

Can anyone help me find a way to stop feeling this way? Certain family members make a habit of it. And I really begrudge it.

Tell them fuck off...?

My MIL would fling open the door, invite the knockers in, as well as anybody else in the vicinity, provide tea/wine/biscuits/a bed for the night and she'd be utterly thrilled.

I'd be horrified and likely shut the door so fast, I'd risk people's fingers and/or other appendages.

I'd imagine there's a spectrum between us as well.

I love it! It takes all the pressure off being organised and super hospitable. I often invite friends in when they’re passing, and live in a central, sociable house for that reason. I love being able to welcome people in and be friendly. My friends are similar though, so it’s not just me.

Work out what your parameters are ie do you need an hour's notice or a day's notice and be utterly clear. Then everybody knows. I married into a family of dropper inners but they respect that I'm a misanthropic curmudgeon and never ever drop by unannounced.

I'm not sure it's possible to learn to love it.

Do you know why it annoys you? I would start there. Boundaries are healthy though!

I think because my home is my safe place for peace and quiet and zero human interaction. So when someone turns up uninvited, my blood instantly boils.

I am a very sociable person otherwise. But when I go home, I value my privacy.

I’d channel my best Dave Edmunds

🎵🎶🎵 “I hear you knocking,
but you can’t come in” 🎵🎶🎵

at them

Depends who it is and how much I like them tbh! I wouldn't drop in unannounced myself though

Same. The only person who can truly get away with this is my Mum. Otherwise, it drives me insane. Also, our house is freezing so I’m usually knocking around in my onesie or o/s hoodie.

I would let anyone in except my SIL. But I have no other demands on my time atm. If I was busy and had stuff to get done I would tell them it wasn't a good time.

That’s why I have a video doorbell! If it’s someone you like and want to answer the door to you can see and if it’s not then just ignore it and turn the volume off

People know they have to phone before they come to my house.

If someone did this to me I would probably speak to them on the doorstep for a few minutes and then say 'lovely to see you, must get on' and close the door.

Anyone that knows me would not be surprised by this.

That's if I opened the door in the first place.

Our home is our safe space, so no one comes in unless it’s essential. The kids take weeks to relax again (autism).

I do have a friend who is the polar opposite though and she simply cannot understand. She’d happily let you pop over and use her house whilst she’s on holiday (she has offered), so gets upset if you’re in the area and didn’t drop by, and she doesn’t understand why we knock when we go round instead of walking straight in. She finally got the message when I opened the door to her once with “why are you here?” before I remembered about manners/tact/phrasing!

Still a best friend, but we appreciate that we are Not The Same.

Very common in my upbringing - the norm in fact . Now I don’t like it