Uninvited guests. People expecting to be invited into your home unnanou

[Owlmoonstar]

How do you feel about this?

If someone knocked your door, completely expected, expecting to be invited in, would you be pissed off?

What would you do in this situation?

Still the same around here. And you can also keep your shoes on!!

I know my alcoholic sibling will knock and expect to come in. It will put such a downer on the day but I can't exactly chase him.

He talks absolute shite and we can't get rid of him, he won't take the hint at all.
Might have to turn the ring doorbell off.

I hate anyone turning up unannounced. Unless I'm willing to invite anyone in I check the ring doorbell to see who is there. Some people shout through the letterbox if I don't answer, so I often lock the gate so people can't even get into the garden. If they shout from the street I ignore them.

it depends if you are happily unsociable.

I'm not .
Therefore I view other people knocking on my door as a wonderful experience and if unexpected then more fun to be had !
If my house is untidy then I apologise and ask that people forgive the mess and invite them in . If it’s really inconvenient I do this incredibly strange but effective thing. I use words !! I say “hello Susan how fabulous to see you. I’m so sorry I can’t invite you in but I’m in a hurry to get to Waitrose, are you free on Tuesday ?

Fuck me, it’s not hard.

I don't like it. At home I often wear comfy things that I wouldn't wear out, and a messy bun etc. Plus I had in laws who would arrive at meal time unannounced, when I hadn't prepared enough food because I wasn't expecting them and it made me feel awkward. I like to be prepared for things in general so it just doesn't work for me.

Mine tried doing this for a bit but I said that I don’t like unannounced visitors and to please inform me first. They still do it though from time to time!

Love it!! But if I’m in the middle of something I’d just say ‘sorry, now doesn’t work’

Yep. Unless it was someone I hated…. I might even offer stollen or Christmas cake.

(people on here are insane sometimes )

We never get inexpected guests now we've moved. We live in the middle of nowhere. Everything has to be prearranged so there are no wasted journeys.
My mum & dad used to drop in unexpectedly when they were out & about. Dad is dead now & mum doesn't drive.
Be careful what you wish for, I miss having unexpected visitors.

My immediate family would always be welcomed in although they would usually message if they were popping in.
Anyone else it would soon what I was doing and who it was.

If I was free I’d invite them in. I always have drinks or a snack I can offer. It doesn’t happen much to me though.
if I’m working from home I’d be clear it’s not an option.

I am a tidy person and would never feel embarsssed for someone to come in. I see why some people may not feel happy with surprise guests and that’s fine!

I am one of those that actually enjoy having people drop round, but I know some people hate it. I suppose if you really hate it, your friends and family must be incredibly thick-skinned if they aren't picking up on your "I hate this" body language. Why not make a New Year resolution to be upfront with people and tell them that drop-in guests make you uncomfortable, so please stop doing it.

I also think it’s rude. Why do people think that it’s ok not to let someone know that they’re going to pop in? The other person could be in the middle of anything, the might have other people there, they might be working or in my OH’s case, sleeping off a night shift.

My OH’s uncle does this every Christmas. Never know when he’s coming, he just knocks the door and expects to come in regardless. Last year, I was right in the middle of unloading all the Christmas food shop out of the car, the kids were still in their PJs and one of them had just been to the loo so it didn’t smell great as I opened the door with him right behind me 🙈 He then wanted me to sort something out on his phone but didn’t know the password so I had no chance - bearing in mind, I see this man once a year! Infuriating.

Just because it’s convenient for you, doesn’t mean it is for me and it’s extremely rude not to check beforehand.

I’d love this. But I haven’t got any friends and I am really lonely, so that skews things a bit.

I also can't stand the reverse of this. MIL will often say she will 'pop' in but never has an idea if morning/afternoon etc. She also never tells us when she changes her mind and isn't coming!

Last year at 6pm, Christmas Eve, DH got a voicemail from and old uni friend. They only speak once a year at most. The message said 'they' were visiting a relative nearby and would pop by our house later tonight after their visit there. We moved here 4yrs ago and he has never been to our house.

We had both just got in from work, madly tidying, planning, prepping etc so really not convenient at all. DH tried calling the 'friend' but no answer. We ended up waiting up till 11pm, fully dressed and they never turned up. Yes, I could have gone to bed, but didn't want ringing the bell late.

My grandmother had a wonderful way of getting rid of unwanted visitors. She had an old clock which produced Westminster chimes (eg bing bong bing bong) on the hour and half hour. When she had enough of a visitor she would leap up suddenly and exclaim loudly "Goodness is that the time? I must get on. Thank you for your visit. I will see you out/fetch your coat."

Visitors were completely thrown onto the back foot. No one ever argued.

This is the only time of year I'm ok with it, as long as people don't mind me puttering about doing what I need to do while they're here.

I've had both my neighbours over today, one sat and had coffee and a croissant with me while I made my festive desserts and one was Mrs. Doyle'd into having a bacon sarnie when he came over with a bottle of bubbly for us.

Friends and family just drop in when they feel like it and as long as I'm in and decent I'll bring them in and feed them.

Any other time of year they'd be told to get to fuck though. My hospitality extends to January 1st and then I become by appointment only again.

Hate it! Even if someone texts and asks to pop over at the last minute I don’t like that either. I have a feeling I am neurodiverse so might be why I feel this way. Everyone is different though, some people have an open house and love socialising etc, I am just not one of those people.

that's not what it's about at all though, is it.

My house is always "visitor ready" because I can't stand mess, and my kids bring back friends whenever they feel like it.

The ones being self-centered are the rude adults who expect someone to drop everything they are doing to host them. People have plans, have things to do, are busy, they shouldn't have to cancel or mess their entire day because some lazy bored idiot decide to pop in.

It might be lovely when you are retired and potter around all day, but even my parents have plans and a life.

I read that as you put on a kettle of wine.

I thought that's a house that goes all in for guests!

I have young kids and we are busy. I don’t have time to put the kettle on for anyone. I haven’t had an unannounced visit ever and I don’t do that to anyone.. it would infuriate me too

unnanoun? Jesus

I sometimes think I live in a parallel universe but anyone I know well enough that they'd want knock on my door as they passed, would be welcomed for a cuppa and a mince pie, especially at this time of year.

Equally if they say no, no time, that's fine and if they stay too long because I have things to do, I'd tell them that and they'd leave.

The house is never immaculate, but it's clean enough and there's always milk in the fridge.

If someone knocks unexpectedly and you don't have time, you say that.

I’d welcome them in, hand them
and glass of bubbly and ply them with turkey and ham.