MIL wants to arrive 6AM Xmas day

[Countrybumpkin19]

My MIL lives on her own and close by.
The last couple of years she has arrived at our house at 6AM on Christmas day as she likes to see my DDs open their stockings. She has never asked me if that's ok (though presumably spoke to my husband about it). I find it far too much - I don't want to have to talk to any visitors at 6AM when I'm half asleep (least of all my MIL) and see it as an invasion of privacy. As far as I see it stocking opening is intimate family time and I feel she enroaches on this.
This year I sent her a really nice text message asking if it would be ok if she arrived at 9AM so that we have a little bit of time first thing to get ready and prepare for the day (I'm doing all the cooking/hosting). She is then welcome to spend the rest of the day with us. She is really upset by this message and my husband thinks I'm being unreasonable (it has opened up a big argument between us). AIBU?

Well, there's nothing to say that you have to see any member of your family, is there! That's not a measure of who's family!

How can your own children's grandmother not be your family?? Same with their aunt or uncle?

Have a seat....yours and her blood is mixed together in your children.

Open a window and put your head between your knees! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why can’t she stay overnight on Xmas Eve?

and why communicate something like this by text message?

God, we do stockings in our bed, c8.30, then make smoked salmon and bucks fizz and have that in bed too. Then come down and I start lunch. Then Mil comes over about 11 and we start main presents. Kids are 17 now 😀 but we've been doing that since day one.

Your mil is really cheeky and I couldn't stand it! 11 am is fine.....

Couldn't think of anything worse at 9am nevermind 6am. Stand your ground with this one.

So your kids aren’t up at 6am? If they are, their nan being there isn’t a problem. If they’re not just say come an hour later.

I have never let my children open their stockings before 7am. Not a chance would let anyone through the door at 6am!

Why not have her mum round too then at 6am?

Let him have this one.... Good grief. @NewNameforThisPost2025 Does his wife's feelings not count? I don't think giving in to this nonsense is doing well at all.

Any husband who is agreeing to this sort of nonsense because he doesn't want to upset mummy is a crap husband. It's not healthy.

9am is entirely reasonable... it's still early!

You missed my point, which was that her husband wants this. Do it for him.

It’s completely unreasonable for your MIL to come round at 6am, but I don’t understand why you contacted her rather than you and your DH having a conversation about it and him contacting your MIL if you month agreed on it.

I know biology

I also know how to keep in-laws well out of the way thank you😂
And they're absolutely not my family, and they have nothing to do with MY children unless I allow them because I am not related to them.

It's a good thing many women are waking up and not putting up with MIL from hell anymore. We owe them NOTHING, nothing at all.

only yabu is that you asked her if it would be ok if she came at 9am. You should have said before 9am is unacceptable.

Has your h always been a mummy’s boy?

I’m not sure why so many posters are suggesting MIL staying over as the solution, when OP has said she lives nearby.

The issue isn’t logistics, it’s that OP doesn’t want a 6am arrival. She’s already said she’d be fine with 9am.

YANBU OP. 6am is far, far too early

Why does her husband's wants matter more than her own?

Perhaps he can be clearer with his mother about where the boundaries are for the sake of his wife maybe?

what about the husband making his wife happy and prioritising the mother of his children? Who carried the kids and gave birth to them?

MIL had her turn, why can't the OP have hers?

Or is she expected to repeat the insanity, and barge in on her own children and ruin their Christmas when she has grand-kids? Maybe let's stop this nonsense now instead of making it a tradition? 😂

I'd go as far to say for someone spending the full day there and not travelling far then it would be no more than an hour before lunch at my house.

6am!! Absolutely no fucking way!

Several posters have suggested that MIL be invited to stay overnight on Christmas Eve.
OP has not explained why this simple solution would not be possible.
It seems that MIL will be unwelcome at any time.

It is 100% unreasonable for her (or anyone, unless they've just got off a long-haul flight) to arrive before sunrise.

I didn't miss it. Just don't agree with it!

Why does the husband's wants matter less?

6am on Christmas Day is out of order. Are you not allowed to have a lie in even on Christmas Day?! And she’s making a fuss about it? Wow.

why would the MIL staying overnight be helpful? If she decides to be up at 6am and wake up everybody else at 6am for stockings, it's just as bad as arriving at 6am? Literally no difference, just more laundry.

@TrickyD Why should she stay overnight.

It's not that she's not welcome at any time.

It's that she's welcome when OP decides, not MIL

My kids get up at 6am every day! Christmas Day can be even earlier! They’re 8yrs old. My nephew and niece (6 and 8) are the same.

Because it's bloody ridiculous. 6AM!

It's not his suggestion is it? It's him giving in to his mother who is being unreasonable!