MIL wants to arrive 6AM Xmas day

[Countrybumpkin19]

My MIL lives on her own and close by.
The last couple of years she has arrived at our house at 6AM on Christmas day as she likes to see my DDs open their stockings. She has never asked me if that's ok (though presumably spoke to my husband about it). I find it far too much - I don't want to have to talk to any visitors at 6AM when I'm half asleep (least of all my MIL) and see it as an invasion of privacy. As far as I see it stocking opening is intimate family time and I feel she enroaches on this.
This year I sent her a really nice text message asking if it would be ok if she arrived at 9AM so that we have a little bit of time first thing to get ready and prepare for the day (I'm doing all the cooking/hosting). She is then welcome to spend the rest of the day with us. She is really upset by this message and my husband thinks I'm being unreasonable (it has opened up a big argument between us). AIBU?

Do not give in. Do not let her stay. Do not let her dictate the terms of who enters your home and how your Christmas is planned.

If you need to have a row, have a row with your husband. This is worth fighting about.

She enters your home when she is invited, not when she decides.

How do people put up with this crap?

This is that same overbearing MIL behaviour that saw my EX Mil demand the first lock of hair from my baby's first haircut.

Exh was a mummy's boy bullying narcissist so he told me that was what was happening.

So I duly gave her a lock of his hair. But it was not his first haircut. She won't even know where it is now .I guarantee it. She soon lost interest.

I agree that she's trying to take your moments. It's not about being lonely. Nobody is lonely at 6am on Christmas if they know they're going to family a couple hours later!

Dear God, anyone who thinks arriving at someone's house at 6am, unless its to share a taxi to the airport, is completely batshit.

in fairness, she has!

who does that. And you wonder why MIL have a bad name when people have to deal with horrible individual like that.

My mother once stayed over night at ours for Christmas, it seemed like a great idea.
At 1AM, I had to stop her taking the girls downstairs to open their presents.
They’d opened their stockings, and then wanted to go downstairs.

I said no, she could get herself some tea, but the girls were not going downstairs, but were going back to bed.

We must all have people we miss who were once with us on Christmas day.

'Aw, you'll miss me/them when we're dead so give in now' is miserable, manipulating emotional blackmail.

I hope one day if you become grandparents and possibly on your own you all feel the same. I am guessing your own grandparents weren’t very welcome when you were,small.

How is she not family? Without her, they’d be no family!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

@NewNameforThisPost2025agree totally with your post and the great thing is it gets paid back when your children grow up as they are lovely and expansive and inclusive at Christmas.

yeah F that, she can wait in front of the door until Im ready to let her in. 6am!! What is she thinking

I’d go back to bed and let her babysit if theyre that young they want to be up at 6am then they need babysitting right?
she can clear up the mess and get cracking on the veg while I went back up to bed for a few hours. She’ll be dead one day. Just let her.

YANBU.

I think even 9am is too early!

I’m baffled as to why your husband thinks you’re being unreasonable. Maybe he should go and arrive at his mothers at 6am and they can spend the morning together.

My favourite memories are the kids bringing their stockings into our bed on Christmas morning.

My parents and mil often stayed over on Christmas Eve. They didn't climb into bed with us to watch the stocking opening. 😅

YANBU. DH needs to back you up here.

what's wrong with these women?

She'd have been lucky to get some hair from the dog 😂

You never hear such insanity from FIL, why is it always MIL from hell?

6am is ridiculous! She had her time with small children opening stockings. It is such a short period of time for you to enjoy this.

Our DCs bring their stockings to our bedroom at 6:30am and open them in our bed. It pisses me off when my MIL appears and perches on our bed to watch it! She stays over every second Christmas (this year it’s my family, thank goodness and they don’t wake up so early 😂). MIL stays with us fairly often and usually never wakes up before 8am nor helps with breakfast, but intrudes on a special time like stockings!!

Your offer of 9am is kind.

why on earth would anyone do that?
MIL had her turn, can't the OP spends time with her own children without the MIL form hell ruining the very few Christmases she has with young children?

It's selfish and unacceptable to try to ruin a Christmas for the mum.

She’ll be dead one day. No one is saying the OP should threaten her, don't push it 😂😂

6am would be a massive get lost to me. My kids have never been up that early. I'm normally really late to be on Christmas Eve too.

I'd maybe suggest she comes round once kids are up but 6am is just ridiculous

You are not unreasonable, albeit I would have hot DH to speak with her in person. Text message isn’t ideal

I have grandchildren that I adore but absolutely no way would I be skipping to their house until at least 11am …cannot think of anything worse thanks .,

This👆👆👆👆👆

This is such a Mumsnet cliché.

The one day they'll be gone argument can be used to justify literally anything. Doesn’t mean OP is unreasonable for not wanting her MIL to turn up for the day at 6am every Christmas.

Oy I'm a MIL and voted YANBU. Midday is when we're going to DD's. They need family time in the morning!

Your MIL is being selfish. Does she have form for that?

OMG. 1am!!!

Can't they open some presents when she arrives later on in the day?