Page 15 | MIL wants to arrive 6AM Xmas day

Pistachiocake · 23/12/2025 22:53

Topseyt123 · 23/12/2025 19:04

My Grandma lived very near to us when I was growing up. She only got to see us open our presents every Christmas morning because she came to stay at our house on Christmas Eve, so was already there and got up with us. She'd stay until Boxing Day afternoon.

My parents would never have entertained the idea of collecting her before 6am on Christmas Day!

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It surely just means keeping a few presents back after the initial 6am (or earlier!!) frenzy from the children which can be opened when MIL arrives at 9am. It really shouldn't be an issue at all.

Edited

I always did that, and the kids have been fine with it. It's better actually, some presents open early to play with, and then them looking round to us going to pick up the rest of the family, then open some more, and then more after lunch. Much better than a massive pile at 6am!
This way, any family who want to see it are welcome to do it, and I make sure my kids know how lucky they are to have family to do this. It is great to share the joy. Any who don't want to get up to watch it can just arrive in time for Christmas lunch!

suburberphobe · 23/12/2025 22:55

(though presumably spoke to my husband about it)

Do you not communicate together about this kind of thing??

Tell him to get up and entertain her while you get up when you are ready.

Sorted.

HoppityBun · 23/12/2025 22:55

IndolentCat · 23/12/2025 22:33

I don’t know anyone whose stocking didn’t arrive on their bed and who didn’t either open it in their own or a sibling’s bed, or take it to parents’ bed to open. Very few people have mantelpieces or even dining tables… and it’s much cosier in bed at that time in the morning! Really I’ve only heard of people going downstairs for stockings in very old books written about wealthy families.

However, even if you went downstairs for your stocking, 6am is too early to be entertaining visitors.

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Surely part of Christmas is waking up and hearing the rustle at the bottom of your bed? But our stockings were my father’s socks, filled with small goodies and curiosities that my mother collected during the year, together with a satsuma in the toe and walnuts, Brazils and almonds in foil, that my father had cracked open the night before. I wouldn’t have exchanged the pleasure of that for anything.

Brideofclover · 23/12/2025 22:57

I’m a mil and I love my grandson too pieces but I’ll see him anytime after 12 on Christmas Day 😂😂😂
YADNBU

AlphaBravoGamma · 23/12/2025 22:59

GiveafuckGertrude · 23/12/2025 22:01

Aw. I wish I had a MIL who loved my DC so much that she wanted to come and see them open their stocking presents. I’ll trade you.

Good God, I never once saw my own children open their stocking presents - the whole point of them was to keep them quiet until a reasonable hour of the day, I.e. after 8!

MissDoubleU · 23/12/2025 22:59

Countrybumpkin19 · 23/12/2025 22:52

When I said that stocking opening is 'intimate family time' I mean that the kids using pile into our bed in their PJs to open them (they are usually up pretty early). There's no way I want my MIL sitting in bed with us! Instead when she has come early the last couple of years we have had to open the stockings with her at 6/6.30 in a freezing cold living room, having just woken up and still groggy, whilst trying to make polite conversation with her. Then she is wanting a cup of tea/breakfast etc. Not how I would like to start Christmas day!

You have a DH problem. He cares more about his precious mother getting what she wants than you being comfortable and also having a say in how family events go…

fashionqueen0123 · 23/12/2025 23:05

Countrybumpkin19 · 23/12/2025 22:52

When I said that stocking opening is 'intimate family time' I mean that the kids using pile into our bed in their PJs to open them (they are usually up pretty early). There's no way I want my MIL sitting in bed with us! Instead when she has come early the last couple of years we have had to open the stockings with her at 6/6.30 in a freezing cold living room, having just woken up and still groggy, whilst trying to make polite conversation with her. Then she is wanting a cup of tea/breakfast etc. Not how I would like to start Christmas day!

Don’t open the door, but definitely don’t leave the bedroom or go downstairs. If needed send your husband downstairs to tell her you aren’t dressed yet so you’ll all be down later when it’s morning. Then open the stockings and she can wait!

Booksandsport · 23/12/2025 23:06

Are your kids always up at 6am and is the issue her being part of "your" time or someone collecting her or somwthing else?

My sister in law lives alone near us and adores our kids. When they were small, on her request, we used to ring when they started waking up and she'd rush around and be with us when we went downstairs and they opened their presents. My in-laws are there too every second year when they stayed with us. I was regularly in my pjs with bed head and no makeup (my only rule was no photos of me until I looked more human!).

I honestly never thought of it as anything except lovely that they all wanted the pleasure of watching the kids and luckily my husband was the same and I know they are/were special memories to my sister and to my in-laws and to us.

Hankunamatata · 23/12/2025 23:07

On the fence as my dad used to drive and pick up my nan at 6am several years in a row when I was little so she could enjoy stocking opening. Mum was the one who suggested it as her mother had died young and she loved mil

Alwaytired44 · 23/12/2025 23:08

Countrybumpkin19 · 23/12/2025 18:53

My MIL lives on her own and close by.
The last couple of years she has arrived at our house at 6AM on Christmas day as she likes to see my DDs open their stockings. She has never asked me if that's ok (though presumably spoke to my husband about it). I find it far too much - I don't want to have to talk to any visitors at 6AM when I'm half asleep (least of all my MIL) and see it as an invasion of privacy. As far as I see it stocking opening is intimate family time and I feel she enroaches on this.
This year I sent her a really nice text message asking if it would be ok if she arrived at 9AM so that we have a little bit of time first thing to get ready and prepare for the day (I'm doing all the cooking/hosting). She is then welcome to spend the rest of the day with us. She is really upset by this message and my husband thinks I'm being unreasonable (it has opened up a big argument between us). AIBU?

My PIL’s wanted to come at 10am and I said no as I felt that was too early, would I hell agree to 6am!!

WimbyAce · 23/12/2025 23:11

No way! We don't even let the kids up until 8am. Couldn't imagine a family member rocking up! I think 12 is a sensible time.

PeloMom · 23/12/2025 23:12

If anyone dares to come to my house at 6am they whether be bringing me a nice coffee and fresh baked goodies and not expect any conversation whatsoever until at least 8-9. you’re a saint!

JustBrowsingTheWeb · 23/12/2025 23:19

Who on earth is writing YABU??! These must be misclicks

WimbyAce · 23/12/2025 23:20

KnickerlessParsons · 23/12/2025 21:46

Give her a key if she doesn’t already have one then she can let herself in and bring everyone a cup of tea in bed, and maybe do last nights washing up for you too.

🤣

SexyFrenchDepression · 23/12/2025 23:21

Booksandsport · 23/12/2025 23:06

Are your kids always up at 6am and is the issue her being part of "your" time or someone collecting her or somwthing else?

My sister in law lives alone near us and adores our kids. When they were small, on her request, we used to ring when they started waking up and she'd rush around and be with us when we went downstairs and they opened their presents. My in-laws are there too every second year when they stayed with us. I was regularly in my pjs with bed head and no makeup (my only rule was no photos of me until I looked more human!).

I honestly never thought of it as anything except lovely that they all wanted the pleasure of watching the kids and luckily my husband was the same and I know they are/were special memories to my sister and to my in-laws and to us.

Exactly, I loved my parents coming round when the DC were small, sometimes we'd all be ready waiting for the kids to get up 😂 we were meant and wouldnt have allowed them up at 6am anyway!

CornishTiger · 23/12/2025 23:24

The children piling into our bed to open stockings is the highlight of my Christmas even as they are getting older.

Firm no to her coming over. She’s had her children and those moments. These are for you and husband now.

Theslummymummy · 23/12/2025 23:25

Rubyupbeat · 23/12/2025 22:20

My mum always came at 6am to see the present opening. She IS intimate family and I would have been so upset if my husband told her not to come, fortunately they got on really well. If your husband wants his mum there then you shouldn't be telling her not to come until 9. She is intimate family too.

Do you mean immediate? Not sure you can decide who is intimate family

realsavagelike · 23/12/2025 23:25

The only unreasonable thing is phrasing it as 'Would it be ok?' instead of a variation on "It's not ok/That won't work for us" as this gives MIL much narrower scope to disagree with you. I am still learning how to stand up to people though, and I'm in my 50's!

TwistedWonder · 23/12/2025 23:30

Tigerbalmshark · 23/12/2025 19:00

I’ll still be in bed at 6am, as would DS. It’s the middle of the fucking night. I wouldn’t be letting anybody in until 9am.

100% - I don’t even get up at 6 on a workday let alone a day off.

Unless I’m catching a flight, it’s a time of day that doesn’t exist in my world.

Even 9 would be a struggle on a non working day for me. Anyone arriving at mine much before midday will be lucky if they get a grunt let alone a smile

HipHopDontYouStop · 23/12/2025 23:33

Utterly ludicrous for anime to arrive at 6am.

Theslummymummy · 23/12/2025 23:33

TwistedWonder · 23/12/2025 23:30

100% - I don’t even get up at 6 on a workday let alone a day off.

Unless I’m catching a flight, it’s a time of day that doesn’t exist in my world.

Even 9 would be a struggle on a non working day for me. Anyone arriving at mine much before midday will be lucky if they get a grunt let alone a smile

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Agree. There have been years im still wrapping presents at 2am and cleaning the house. I'd be fucked if I was getting up at 6am.

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 23:34

Foxcubforest · 23/12/2025 22:52

It was always after 7am. My husband was wearing pyjamas (as were the children snd I). My mother was wearing a nightie covered by a long dressing gown. She sat on a clothes chest at the foot of the bed - not on the bed, if that helps make it less weird to you.
Christmas mornings when my children were little were full of happiness; my husband and I knew how lucky and blessed we were, and we were both pleased to be able to spread the joy a little bit further.

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I am not sure why you think pjs are making it any less weird 😂😂
I honestly didn't imagine your husband naked in bed with his MIL in a frilly nighty 😂.

You can be blessed outside of the privacy of your own bedroom!
Its utterly bizarre to me that none of the adults involved found it uncomfortable to say the least.

ProcrastinatorsAnonymous · 23/12/2025 23:36

Oh dear... This is sad. I would feel exactly the same as you, OP. It's private parent & child time - the magical 15 mins when you have just woken up, and you snuggle in bed and open stockings and see that pure joy - that moment when they realise that the day they've been counting down to is ACTUALLY here and ACTUALLY happening at last.

I bet you will really miss it when it's gone. I know I will. And it sounds like she is yearning for that. She can't have it - those years have ended for her, as they must for all parents. She should've realised that and not tried to muscle in on your time - because it is your time, and she is taking something away from you. But I do feel for her. I don't think you've done anything wrong by setting the boundary and you should hold firm - but as kindly as you can. Hope your DH comes around.

SnoreyCat · 23/12/2025 23:37

This is ridiculous, do not entertain it. Very odd for anyone other than you, DH and SC to be there for stocking opening at any time, let alone 6am. MIL has had these special moments with her own DC, it’s your turn now.

For context, my DM used to stay with us most Xmas eves (long journey so with us for a few days), but it wouldn’t have occurred to any of us that she should be involved with stocking opening. We would meet downstairs when everyone was up and ready, for breakfast and then presents.

Tiedbutchorestodo · 23/12/2025 23:38

Not a chance would I let MIL come over at that time - I think you’re being generous with 9am!

I also wouldn’t have MIL stay over if she lived close - she can come for 9 and kids can wait and do some presents then so she gets to see that bit.