MIL wants to arrive 6AM Xmas day

[Countrybumpkin19]

My MIL lives on her own and close by.
The last couple of years she has arrived at our house at 6AM on Christmas day as she likes to see my DDs open their stockings. She has never asked me if that's ok (though presumably spoke to my husband about it). I find it far too much - I don't want to have to talk to any visitors at 6AM when I'm half asleep (least of all my MIL) and see it as an invasion of privacy. As far as I see it stocking opening is intimate family time and I feel she enroaches on this.
This year I sent her a really nice text message asking if it would be ok if she arrived at 9AM so that we have a little bit of time first thing to get ready and prepare for the day (I'm doing all the cooking/hosting). She is then welcome to spend the rest of the day with us. She is really upset by this message and my husband thinks I'm being unreasonable (it has opened up a big argument between us). AIBU?

She sounds like a right weirdo. And your husband is being an arse.

@cannynotsay

grandparents are family. Duh.

😂😂😂

what are you on about 😂

She IS coming. OP hasn't said she doesn't want her to come. Just a nice reasonable time like 9am ( which is still early). Good grief.

Behave. Why are you acting as though OP has told MIL she's not welcome at all? She's said she's happy for her to arrive at 9am, which is still early by most people's standards.

This is absolutely ridiculous - 6am??!! Your husband needs to grow a back bone and tell her to back off. 9am is early enough!!

No I mean the parents and kids, she’s a Narcissist and threw tantrums and ruined the morning and left after the present opened. She legit just came for that, we were all left wound up for the day! So she may be family but not wanted at the house

Youre not comparing like for like

This! She's encroaching on your special time with your children. Time that she's already had.

YADNBU! Put your foot down now.

Absolutely a no from me.
Your house your rules.
6 am is absurd.

Or tell him his Mum needs to do it every other year going forward as you've decided to invite your Mum/Dad this year at that time. See how he likes that.

Your MIL is being very weird, as is your DH!

I’m sure hubby won’t have a problem waking the kids before 6am so his mother gets to see them open their stockings. Tell him to bring you a cuppa in bed at 9am. This will be the last time he agrees to entertain his mother at 6am.
Start as you mean to go on. Rewind the rules, if necessary.

'Son needs to set boundaries with his wife'

Yes, of course, get your wife under control son - give her a slap if she doesn't do what she's told. It's all about you of course, and me as your mother. She purely exists to give me grandchildren that I can play with and do what I want with.

If my husband tried to tell me what to do in favour of his mother he would not be my husband much longer

No this is ridiculous!! Even 9am is too early also!! U are correct it is family time
before anyone else comes and also time to get prepared for the busy day ahead, without having others encroaching. Ur husband is being ridiculous also but if he insists make sure he is the one doing all the cooking and cleaning. Sit down have a drink and let him get on with it.

That's completely mental, as is your dh for being annoyed with you. They are not her children, it's lovely that she wants to be involved in their lives but it's ridiculous that she is insisting on this and throwing a tantrum because she isn't getting her own way.

I personally wouldn’t mind all that much, given that the kids were awake and getting their stockings at that time (which mine will be, most likely). I would much rather bring joy to someone lonely at Christmas.

I do however understand that if you aren’t 100% comfortable with someone to the point you can slob out in your PJs in front of them it wouldn’t be a welcome thought. I would do in front of my mum and MIL so the more the merrier really. I love company at Christmas.

Nah, then she'll get the kids up at five whilst the OP is still asleep.

ExMIL did that with another one of the siblings. Thought it was absolutely hilarious that they'd offered for her to stay to avoid knocking so early and she got to have the present opening all to herself.

Nah, not a MIL. If DH is OK with it and the family are up at that time with early morning stocking opening excitement, I don't see a huge problem. Particularly if DH is making cups of tea and look after his mother.

You are more welcoming than me. Our rule is anyone is welcome for lunch, open invitation to all parents and siblings. And anyone we learn is on their own. But no one before 11am. That’s our time with our children.

My PIL live about 30 minutes away. Occasionally come by on a weekend. We tell them a time and always arrive early. It infuriates me. My youngest wouldn’t eat their breakfast when they arrived at 8:10am instead of 9:30 last weekend. DH was still wondering round in his boxers haha!

I was pissed off when my own DP's rocked up at 8am xmas morning one year, let alone the in-laws...

YANBU at all in making a perfectly legit request that she arrives no earlier than 9am. If your DH wants to entertain her, he can go to her house...

Not being unreasonable.
Not read full thread yet either but I can't help myself.
If DH is so keen then he can take over all the cooking, cleaning and prepping. And entertain them from 6am when u are still in your bed and asleep.
Just give him a taste of his own medicine. It could definitely be the miracle cure you need it to be. Xxx

YANBU. They are your children and you should be allowed to enjoy your Christmas morning without visitors. MIL has had her Christmas mornings with her own children, now it’s your turn. Stick to your guns.

Good God NO!!!
Get your husband in line, it’s his responsibility and he’s not considering your needs or feelings at all. What you said in your message was more than kind.

Has control freak written all over it .

God, MIL is rude and entitled. Sorry hubby doesn't have your back.. but honestly, no, I'd not let anyone in at 6am.