MIL wants to arrive 6AM Xmas day

[Countrybumpkin19]

My MIL lives on her own and close by.
The last couple of years she has arrived at our house at 6AM on Christmas day as she likes to see my DDs open their stockings. She has never asked me if that's ok (though presumably spoke to my husband about it). I find it far too much - I don't want to have to talk to any visitors at 6AM when I'm half asleep (least of all my MIL) and see it as an invasion of privacy. As far as I see it stocking opening is intimate family time and I feel she enroaches on this.
This year I sent her a really nice text message asking if it would be ok if she arrived at 9AM so that we have a little bit of time first thing to get ready and prepare for the day (I'm doing all the cooking/hosting). She is then welcome to spend the rest of the day with us. She is really upset by this message and my husband thinks I'm being unreasonable (it has opened up a big argument between us). AIBU?

Well she is being a bit bonkers but I could live with a 6am guest as long as they knew I'd be in my pjs, possibly still in bed and wouldn't be in any way chatty or hosty for a good 3 hours. I'd also invite her to stay overnight.
The guest would need to understand that they were here to see the children and entertain themselves and that I would be lounging/pottering/showering at my leisure, not socialising until 9am.

Bloody hell, 6am?! My daughter is doing christmas lunch for the first time, and we're under strict instructions not to arrive before 2pm!

My favourite part of Christmas is watching my kids open their presents. One year we asked my MIL and FIL if they wanted to come over early and see the kids open their presents. They came over at about 7am and we then had breakfast together.

Look honestly I cba reading through the comments. But can you just not invite her to stay the night before? So she’s there when the little ones open presents. I’m in my 30s no kids yet, Xmas is boring and tiresome the best joy is seeing the face on little ones faces when they think Father Christmas has been, let her have this with you, it won’t last for long. As you’ve only said MiL in assuming she’s widowed or divorced and just wants to be involved. Give her some jobs with the food prep! You’re all a team.

Or just be a decent fucking human being?

Christ.

How awful to have so many people that love your children what utter monsters.

Some of the replies on this thread are unbelievable

Because then they can all get up together in the morning?

it’s not that difficult to understand

My MIL is doing the same thing! Didn’t ask, just announced it. You have my sympathies xxx

She is being completely unreasonable. We are all still fast asleep at 6am so she would have to wait until we got up. Your DH is also unreasonable.
she can come about 10 surely

are you defending a woman who shows no respect for her son's wife?

Would you pop to your neighbours randomly at 6am asking for a cup of tea? Of course not, because that's rude! Why shouldn't the DIL be shown the same respect?

I missed the part where OP said that they would all be up at 6am. Could you point that out for me?

So let’s hope that the ‘lot of help’ provided by Mil happens when she decides not the OP.

She is being totally unreasonable! They’re your kids not hers and she’s had her time when your DH was younger I assume!
Stick to your guns and don’t let her take over your Christmas!

I would be spending my Christmas elsewhere as much as possible so she'd find the house empty when she tries to pull that stunt! 6am? insane.

And people are defending her?

Neighbours are clearky not in the same class as your childs grandmother...

Nor is the request random...

You make zero sense.

Im more saying that people are acting like shes a serial killer.

The way mil is bring spoken about is disgusting

YANBU - we open stockings in our bed so the kids climb in and it’s lovely - it’s what I have lovely memories of as a child so there’s no way I’d want someone round early changing our Xmas traditions!

Your DH needs to get a grip and remember MIL has had her turn and now needs to let you do yours how you want it.

My mother in law turned up the first year we had DS with an extra stocking and I just said nope - we as parents are doing the stocking and when she said he could have two I said no it won’t make any sense as he gets older so we’re not starting it.

She lives on her own, her son wants her to come, she’s your DCs grandmother, she’s family. Don’t be so fucking mean!

Absolute nonsense. She's not being "precious". Seeing small children open their stockings is magic. We do ours in our bed all snuggled together. I would be utterly furious if my MIL insisted she was there for that. In fact we've previously uninvited my in laws for the sleepover for that reason...we wanted the first few hours of Xmas day to be ours alone.

Everything on mumsnet is transactional didnt you know!

MIL wanting to visit new grandchild? Better get that washing machine on and make the tea never mind having a hold.

MIL wanting to visit at christmas? Better get oeeling those spuds.

Jesus

I am saying you don't barge in people's house at 6am, how is that not making any sense 😂

Maybe the husband needs to set boundaries with his wife the OP.

Sons wishes are immaterial clearly

Its a false equivalence. If youre going to debate do it properly.

This is the batshitiest thing I ever heard.

I like my in laws, and we never let them
arrive till midday (now the kids are older it's about 2.30), you need to be able to chill before you step up to hosting

what equivalence?

People are discussing the 6am arrival, not that she comes for Christmas, she's invited anyway.

No need for equivalence, you just don't do that? Do YOU? 😂