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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

467 replies

Wifetobe21 · 22/12/2025 22:11

For about 1.5 hours mid morning. A couple of his mates usually go and have roped him in.

He is into his fitness but surely people can give it a miss for one bloody day?!

OP posts:
whatdoyourdoggoswant · 23/12/2025 06:34

I think given you only have 1 young chicks who won’t notice he is gone and your parents are there, it’s ok. I always try and go out for a run on Christmas morning because I enjoy it but also I enjoy the food more vs being sat on my arse all morning.

JustChillin70 · 23/12/2025 06:39

Exercise is extremely necessary to some people for their mental health and the pressure of Christmas can make it vital. I run every day so I’ll be going for a run on Christmas Day but kids are all adults. I do try to go before everyone is up but will wait until it at least starts to get light as I don’t like running in the dark. I’ll struggle with the amount of socialising and chaos and even having had a run in the am will still have to take myself off for a bit at some point later in the day too. This would be the ideal time for my run but not a chance I’ll be able to with a belly full of Christmas dinner

CrazyGoatLady · 23/12/2025 06:41

Thoseslippers · 23/12/2025 02:11

But that's the issue isn't it?? It's NOT equal. It's always the fucking men.
And whi has to sit there entertaining the kids and relatives?? Who has to get everything ready?
And they might say to you 'well you could go out for a few hours later on' and think that's fair. But you won't be able to because of all the things you have to do. And also you aren't going to want to leave your young children for several hours on christmas day.. well part of you might want to but the biggest part of you is going to feel that duty to make it a special family day for them.. which involves not swanning off to do as you please.
Honestly it grinds my gears so much.
It's like you are caught in a trap. Supposed to just be cool with it when you would never in a million years really be able to do the same as it would be judged and you'd even judge yourself for it.
If I went to the gym with mates for a few hours whilst my ILs were round and my young kids were there on christmas day they would think I was a terrible human being. Because im a mother.
But when it comes to men no one bats an eyelid. And you can say as much as you want, oh just do it, just do the same.. but its ridiculous because it isn't the same at all.

I also think we give too many fucks though. I would be taking that time if DH took it. I'm way past caring what my ILs think. I also don't put pressure on myself any more to make Christmas super special. We have ND DC and they often find Christmas overwhelming, they're done with it by Christmas Eve.

The pressure women put on ourselves is crackers. I'm no Christmas martyr, if the men get to go take some space, then damn straight so will I. It won't be given, it has to be taken by force, I'm afraid.

ilovesooty · 23/12/2025 06:42

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 22/12/2025 23:22

The OP said nothing about pouring Baileys on her cornflakes and watching home alone.

She did say she had a toddler plus parents staying. From this anyone would surmise she's like to split duties with her partner - one cooks while one looks after the baby and entertains the olds.

Good for you if you and your husband are happy to juggle this with a run, but she isn't and that is reasonable - it's Christmas she wants to be able to chill out as much as she can. He can always go for a half hour run.

Are you normally this insufferably smug or is it a post surgery issue?

entertains the olds

If she has a 19 month old it's entirely likely that her parents aren't exactly geriatric or in need of being actively entertained.

CheeseWisely · 23/12/2025 06:45

I’m confused about the need to ‘entertain / host’ the OP’s parents. I also have a toddler and he is more than enough entertainment for my parents when they visit. I could leave the house and I’m not sure they’d notice.

As for the exercise we’ll all be going to Parkrun on Christmas Day unless the weather’s really foul, in which case DH and I will rock, paper, scissors and one of us will stay home with the little one while the other goes to join friends and run.

Anyway I haven’t voted because without more information from the OP about their day overall it’s impossible to say if she’s being unreasonable or not.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 23/12/2025 06:45

Mrsclausemunchingonamincepie · 22/12/2025 22:29

Nobody hearing alarm bells?

You think he's breaking into the gym?

There will be literally thousands of people running parkrun on Christmas day. What's the difference

MagneticSquirrel · 23/12/2025 06:50

I think it depends on the timing … if it’s first thing in the morning when no-one else is up or doing anything then fine! Especially if Thursday is normally a workout day, it can be hard to stay in routine over Christmas - the people who are asking if can’t he “miss a day” just don’t get it. It’s like anything you do daily - it’s weird when you don’t do it.

I’m planning to go for a run Christmas Day, won’t make any dent in the calories consumed (might offset a mince pie at best) but it’s about maintaining/improving cardio fitness and good habits.

Ansjovis · 23/12/2025 06:51

If my gym was opening on Christmas day I'd be there too. Routine is important to some people. As long as he's not there all day I don't see the problem.

Moonnstarz · 23/12/2025 06:53

No this wouldn't bother me, and I agree with the person who said they would actually prefer it so it's one less person getting in the way.
As long as he wasn't going out when dinner was about to be served or when the toddler was going to open their presents then I think it's fine for him to go. Especially because you have your parents there. If he had been leaving you and the toddler alone on Christmas day then I would say he was being unreasonable leaving you to entertain the child and prep food, but as you have help the grandparents can surely spend time with their grandchild while you get things sorted. I see it as a positive.

Clarehandaust · 23/12/2025 06:58

Christmaseree · 22/12/2025 22:30

It may be nice to have a couple of hours with just your parents and DC.

What, whilst takes his present over to the other woman ?
Check the gym is actually open OP
If it is and we’re giving him the benefit of the doubt then it’s no worse than men that used to bugger off to the pub for a few hours

ilovesooty · 23/12/2025 07:03

takes his present over to the other woman

Perhaps the OP should frisk him before he's allowed out. 🙄

CheeseWisely · 23/12/2025 07:10

Just checked out of interest for all those incredulous that a gym could possibly be open and our local 24/7 gym is indeed open 24 hours a day over Christmas, but it’s not staffed on Christmas Day or Boxing Day.

Peridoteage · 23/12/2025 07:12

I think this is only ok if he's thinking about when it has least impact on you & the toddler. Eg perhaps he's planning to be up v early while you all sleep in and barely know he's not there?

If he's planning on fucking off to the gym mid morning & dodging playing with his child/helping to cook, no way.

Pollyanna87 · 23/12/2025 07:18

I feel sorry for the staff who work in the gym.

Mrswhiskers87 · 23/12/2025 07:19

If there was no DC or family I’d not see an issue but in this case I think he should be at home.

ProfessionalPirate · 23/12/2025 07:19

AvocadoJam · 22/12/2025 22:38

@jetlag92Obviously he is capable of missing a day, but why would I want him to do this? Him going away for an hour or two doesn't negatively affect my day? Why would it?

As the OP, I've got my parents around, the kids will hopefully be playing with their toys, glass of bucks fizz in hand...

I don't need DP attached the the family all day!

Now... if he was off to the pub I'd not be tolerating it.

I honestly feel like the UK has such a negative fitness culture.

Where I'm from, it is standard to do a swim on Xmas morning. Fab tradition!

Your Christmas Day must be very different to mine if you don’t miss your DH for 1.5+ hours on Christmas morning with young DC. Do you not host? When do you get to the gym?

A 20min home workout would be more than adequate to keep him ticking over and get the endorphins going. Gym every day is unnecessary, quality over quantity.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 23/12/2025 07:23

How is the gym open? Even Pure Gym is shut. It's taking the piss if you are wrangling young children alone.

Simonjt · 23/12/2025 07:24

Zov · 22/12/2025 22:54

Yeah, I do agree actually. It's a bit of a shitty thing to do unless he has cleared it with his wife/the mother of his child that it's OK. (As I said, I would have been OK with him getting out of the way for a bit.)

As you say, no woman would do this. She would be slated and berated by her husband's family if the shoe was on the other foot.

Only if her husbands family were raging sexists.

Lemonyyy · 23/12/2025 07:28

My dad always ran on Christmas Day - still does in fact. He was always back to help mum with dinner and my childhood Christmases definitely weren’t ruined. I think you’ll be fine op, just make sure you get a break too!

Isittimeformynapyet · 23/12/2025 07:31

Pollyanna87 · 23/12/2025 07:18

I feel sorry for the staff who work in the gym.

It has been stated countless times on this thread that most of the gyms open on Christmas day are not staffed. Members let themselves in with a code.

AgnesX · 23/12/2025 07:32

Wifetobe21 · 22/12/2025 22:27

1DD age 19 months. My parents will be here too so not just me left with DD

So, it gives you an opportunity to have them to yourself. That bit would be nice.

Presumably this is his excuse to dip out of any prep?

MyBrightPeer · 23/12/2025 07:33

This is such a non issue. Lots of people exercise on Christmas Day. Your child doesn’t know what Christmas is at 19 months and you also have your parents around. Make sure he is contributing later and you also get that time back to do something you want to do but it’s not like he’s taking an entire day to do something else. He’s not having an affair, he’s going to the gym with some mates.

Simonjt · 23/12/2025 07:40

Our gym is 24/7, so I’ll be going on chrismtas day, just as I went on the first and last day of hanukkah and I’ll be going throughout shaheedi week.

2021x · 23/12/2025 07:42

Torn on this one OP.

There are some incredibly defensive people on here about going to the gym at christmas but none have them have said that they have a toddler. I also assume that the decsision to do their exercise was pre-planned where is this is off the cuff.

Yes I think he can miss the gym for one day without it being a disaster. If he was just going for a run then I would be less bothered for some reason, but actually going to workout like its a normal day is a bit different. I think its the choice to spend it with this mates (who I presume he spends a lot of time with when working out) that is the thing that irks me a little.

Simonjt · 23/12/2025 07:43

wouldnotswapwithyou · 23/12/2025 00:00

Then it’s just like any other day.

A strong family unit wouldn’t even think about being away from each other on Christmas Day.

I could imagine a park run working or something similar, as the spouse and DC could go and cheer the runner on and make it a fun family event.

A strong family unit wouldn’t think anything of one person being outside of the home for 90 minutes. A family going through difficulity or one finding it hard to be a unit however may feel threatened unless they are all
together.