I’m literally called Mrs Christmas at work but its been a really rough year this year topped off with a really rough few weeks.
(Dog developed issues with his eyes that took ages to treat and cost a fortune, then not long after recovering he developed a tooth root absess, got that sorted and our therapy cat got hit by a car, the stress of being crated to fix his pelvis led to him chewing his own tail off the day before he was due off crate rest! Whilst under anaesthetic for remaining tail to be removed it was discovered his pelvis hadn’t healed and we would need to get him through another 6 weeks in a crate or put him down, second guessed whether I’d made the right choice, maxed out my credit card in the process, had a bit of a mental breakdown and kept having panic attacks so got signed off work, back in work for just a week and I ended up in hospital needing an endoscopy during which they tore open my oesophagus, tried to bodge it back together with staples, fucked up the nasogastric tube and shipped me off on blue lights in critical condition to another hospital who pumped me full of penicillin despite it being everywhere that I’m allergic and where I stayed for several weeks, I’ve only been back to eating a normal diet a week and still not back working properly and this happened 1st Sept! Work underpaid me by half because the computer fucked up my sick pay and I had to borrow money to cover my rent. Car then failed its MOT by £1,500 at the end of Nov, money that I didn’t have but can’t get to work without a car, dog then got diagnosed with heart failure, and on the 1st of December my teenage son began having seizures and also had a choking episode so we spent half of the first two weeks of this month in A&E!!)
Normally my Christmas Decs go up on the first and I write cards and give them out early whilst bouncing around at work like the Christmas Fairy for the whole of December and at first I tried to keep my chin up but honestly by the second week of Dec, 3rd trip to A&E via ambulance, half my decs weren’t up, I’d not bought cards let alone written any and I was pretty much at breaking point, panicking about my son, not sleeping for worry so I was knackered, losing money for unpaid parental leave and working long crap shifts trying to make up the shortfall from being off sick I pretty much hit breaking point. From that point on everything not done went in the fuck it, I don’t have the energy or headspace for this shit bucket. My only wish for Christmas that it would be uneventful and A&E free!!! So yes, definitely the most stressed and least Christmassy I’ve ever felt. For the first time ever I’m counting down to the day I can put my decorations away and put this fucking year behind me!!!
Little win - I got to eat Christmas dinner and it didn’t kill me!