Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

[HusSisargument]

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

You husband lacked a bit of grace, swearing at your sister. Unnecessary. His frustration is understandable but still no need to explode like that.

Stoic - all these disagreements are to be considered training sessions. Next time he comes across such a minor issue he can navigate with greater experience, more wisdom.

He might be right by why would he think it was ok to speak to your sister like that?

Does he speak to you like that if you ask him to do something he doesn't want to?

Another outlier here then. I'm not the OPs sister and use no SM except MN. I've never photographed a meal in my life and my private opinion is that its a bit daft.
However I'm from a world where a grown man telling a woman to 'fucking grow up' across a resturant table because she wanted to take a photograph would be considered rude, aggressive and crass.
I'm surprised that people can't see beyond their own opinion of photographing food to focus on his behaviour. Because I'd be surprised if you were all going round shouting and swearing at people who irritated you when you were hungry. I certainly don't know anyone who does that.

Im not sure OP has indicated or implied he usually goes round swearing at people, not sure she said he shouted it

But at the end of the day, her behaviour telling someone not to eat their dinner was crass and rude , it was out of order totally.

Sometimes people lose their rag, I know I would have done and given Ive a real potty mouth she would have heard some swearing too.

Both were rude and I'd have no issue telling them both that. Dsis was rude b to suggest that people should be further delayed eating or let their food get cold when she knew people were already frustrated with the wait time.

Your dh was not wrong in what he said but wrong in how he said it.

I absolutely think he was wrong for swearing at her like that, even though I’d be thinking it in the same situation, but she was also out of order for expecting everyone to go along with her social media stuff too.

Team DH. Your sister @HusSisargument is behaving like a surly teenager and needs to understand that her social media anxiety to post about food or whatever does not outweigh other people’s hunger or concern about food getting cold.

She needs to grow up and behave like an adult

Agree with your DH. It’s embarrassing when fully grown adults take photos just for social media. It isn’t a nice photo of a memory they want to recall in years to come, in their mind they’re actually thinking about adding it to SM to wow people. Newsflash, nobody cares what you’re eating.

It’s between them. He was rude to swear at her. She should have asked if ok to video the food right after it was ordered and not last second tried stop someone from tucking in.

I’d stay out of it except to tell both of them they were inconsiderate.

This

I concur, it’s arrogant to think that the rest of the world wants to see what goes on in your life all the time and worse that you’d be rude to your actual family who are present with you in the moment to do so. Boils my .

The way he spoke was a complete overreaction and really quite nasty. I would have left if someone spoke to me like that at dinner.

If she had, everyone would have eaten sooner...

It would be an ice cold day in hell before I allowed a dp or dh to swear at a member of my family.

WTF is a "monthly dump"?? sounds like something my DH produces after our payday curry.

Firmly team DH here. Sis does need to grow up.

Team dh. I cannot stand people who post pictures of food on SM. it's up there with ' check ins' at a&e and 'dm me'

Both rude. I can’t imagine my husband serving himself first in a group setting. And I mix with actual adults that don’t want to video food for IG.

It may seem like a small comment but I know from experience how these things can blow out and suddenly you are in the middle for more than one thing like this. No advice just hope it blows over.

Incredibly rude and aggressive for him to react like that, swearing, when out for dinner.

Yes she was very annoying, but your DH is neither a toddler nor a ravenous dog and diving into the food like that, serving himself before checking what dishes others wanted to start serving, was also rude.

Your sister needs to recognise what an idiot she was being but really I would be mortified and furious if my DH spoke like that to my sister or any friend or family of mine over an irritating photo moment.

A mental eye roll would have sufficed. Or ‘nooo DSIL, take pity! I’m hungry’’

He was hungry, probably you all were, yes pretty immature to want to video for her socials before you are allowed to eat. Team DH here.

I’m with your husband. Your sister does need to grow up and stop living her life on social media.
Nobody gives a shiny shite what she’s eating for dinner. Nobody.

Your sister sounds absolutely tedious especially with her follow up bullshit about how it’s the done thing now 🙄 but your husband was terribly rude and overly aggressive. I’d be expecting him to apologise for swearing at her and telling her to grow up, but I’d understand that he didn’t want to wait. There’s ways of saying things!

Your sister sounds awful, I would have said the same.

Honestly this place is WILD. I cannot believe people are acting like swearing at a family member at a civilised dinner in a public place is better than wanting to take a 5 second video. What is happening to the world!?

Both rude and he should apologise because he swore at her