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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
Scottishlassie10 · 21/12/2025 19:54

Team DH here,

SillyOP · 21/12/2025 19:54

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 17:51

That she was shocked he was so rude and it’s not her fault he doesn’t do social media so isn’t aware that’s the done thing with a lot of people in this day and age. And that it was a 5 second video for her story so could he not have just waited as the food wouldn’t have gone cold.

Show quote history

It’s really not the done thing for sane people.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 19:55

soupyspoon · 21/12/2025 19:49

Hahaha, good on you for keeping this ludicrous position up, I think we've found OPs sister

She should compromise by not taking over the group dynamic and social situation by wanting to photo it and record it for 'her soshuls'

Show quote history

I repeat, do give over. Not everyone agrees with you. Not everyone posts their keyboard warrior responses that they would never, in a million years, actually say in real life. And not everyone is prepared to excuse men’s aggressive machismo to the hilt. I think the whole situation is a massive massive overreaction. And has caused family angst and strife where a tiny bit of forbearance would’ve sufficed.

soupyspoon · 21/12/2025 19:55

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 19:50

Oh get over yourself. It was a casual short term request. He’s a rude arsehole permanently.

it’s such a mn thing to say “this is what o would have done” when in reality nobody ever would’ve told their sister to sit a different table. What an absolute load of absurd bollocks.

if you’re actually like this irl and not just when you’re behind a keyboard I’d not be surprised if you have few or no strong human relationships.

Show quote history

lol, do keep this up, its brilliant

MyLimeGuide · 21/12/2025 19:55

Are people actually interested in videos of peoples dinner??

JudgeJ · 21/12/2025 19:57

Aries66 · 21/12/2025 19:49

She was rude
He was hungry
The End

She was rude, irrespective of hunger etc., it's rude to demand another person participates in your little fantasy.

Binus · 21/12/2025 19:57

Hahaha, good on you for keeping this ludicrous position up, I think we've found OPs sister

😆

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 21/12/2025 19:57

MyLimeGuide · 21/12/2025 19:55

Are people actually interested in videos of peoples dinner??

I couldn’t possibly function without knowing how my 2nd cousins Cullen skink looked… it’s faaaaascinting!!

BettysRoasties · 21/12/2025 19:57

Wonder if bitoutofpractice has a sibling as id certainly tell my sibling to fuck off pissing around we are hungry and want to eat. They would probably laugh a bit apologise for being a twat and we would eat then joke about it another time.

MrsKeats · 21/12/2025 19:58

A video? Is your sister 13?

Duckswaddle · 21/12/2025 19:58

I’d be fucked off having to wait to eat my food so some twat could video it as well.

Your sister does need to grow up.

5128gap · 21/12/2025 19:58

Your husband was extremely rude.
He may indeed have thought it was immature of her to want to photograph the food. He may have been in a bad temper because the food was slow. He may have been very hungry. None of that is even close to an excuse for insulting and swearing at someone you're socialising with. And I say this as someone who also gets irritated with people photographing things for SM all the time. But it's what a lot of people do, and has become part of our norms now, whether we like it or not, so I don't feel your sister committed a great offence in asking to do it.
All he had to say was "Sorry Jane, too hungry to wait" like a civilised person who knows how to conduct himself.
I'm sure if it had been his boss asking him to wait a moment to start eating he'd have managed to control himself.
He needs to apologise and mind his temper, even when he doesn't think the people on the end of it matter.

soupyspoon · 21/12/2025 19:58

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 19:55

I repeat, do give over. Not everyone agrees with you. Not everyone posts their keyboard warrior responses that they would never, in a million years, actually say in real life. And not everyone is prepared to excuse men’s aggressive machismo to the hilt. I think the whole situation is a massive massive overreaction. And has caused family angst and strife where a tiny bit of forbearance would’ve sufficed.

Show quote history

Have you read the thread at all, you're a complete outlier on here. You're being strangely personal to me, like a stalker or something, probably a man are you?

Anyway, its great, as I say, keep it up.

BettysRoasties · 21/12/2025 19:59

5128gap · 21/12/2025 19:58

Your husband was extremely rude.
He may indeed have thought it was immature of her to want to photograph the food. He may have been in a bad temper because the food was slow. He may have been very hungry. None of that is even close to an excuse for insulting and swearing at someone you're socialising with. And I say this as someone who also gets irritated with people photographing things for SM all the time. But it's what a lot of people do, and has become part of our norms now, whether we like it or not, so I don't feel your sister committed a great offence in asking to do it.
All he had to say was "Sorry Jane, too hungry to wait" like a civilised person who knows how to conduct himself.
I'm sure if it had been his boss asking him to wait a moment to start eating he'd have managed to control himself.
He needs to apologise and mind his temper, even when he doesn't think the people on the end of it matter.

If you was with your boss they would be at minimum paying for the food if not also paying for your time. I’d wait. My sibling is not my boss paying for my meal or time.

ShieldMaiden8 · 21/12/2025 20:00

I’m on your DH’s side.

Binus · 21/12/2025 20:01

BettysRoasties · 21/12/2025 19:57

Wonder if bitoutofpractice has a sibling as id certainly tell my sibling to fuck off pissing around we are hungry and want to eat. They would probably laugh a bit apologise for being a twat and we would eat then joke about it another time.

Same, and none of mine would've been dickhead enough to try and start it again the next day either!

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 20:01

Binus · 21/12/2025 19:57

Hahaha, good on you for keeping this ludicrous position up, I think we've found OPs sister

😆

I repeat, do give over. Not everyone agrees with you. Not everyone posts their keyboard warrior responses that they would never, in a million years, actually say in real life. And not everyone is prepared to excuse men’s aggressive machismo to the hilt. I think the whole situation is a massive massive overreaction. And has caused family angst and strife where a tiny bit of forbearance would’ve sufficed.

and no, I’m not the sister and no, I’m not on SM though I did take a picture of my pigs on blankets to send to my mom and my DP, who has cooked the dinner, didn’t give a shit AITA?

JudgeJ · 21/12/2025 20:02

TidyDancer · 21/12/2025 16:44

I get that your sister was annoying but there was really no reason your DH needed to be so aggressive and rude. He could’ve easily dealt with his annoyance in a better way. I would say he does need to apologise for this to be put to bed.

Rubbish, it's easy to determine the social media obsessives on this thread. Years ago, prior to the internet etc we were on a tour where one of the men was keen to photograph every little thing, I told him that I do not do photographs, ever. The idiot then made my life uncomfortable, trying to invade my privacy and one day he was delighted to have been successful. Unfortunately for him he left his camera on the table when he went to the loo and, ironically, I am very savvy with cameras so I managed to delete the photo but, whoops, I deleted a lot more.

ChristmasCookie1 · 21/12/2025 20:05

Well I seem to be outnumbered but I'm with your sister. Take a quick photo of the food is very, very standard. I get it might have been a bit annoying, but we are talking a few seconds. If my husband swore at my sister I'd be furious with him, regardless of why. The same is my sister swore at my husband. Neither would though because they are adults.

User8008135 · 21/12/2025 20:06

She was rude and immature, especially as she knew he was hungry.

He was rude, snapped and hungry.

Both should apologise and move on. Mind you both should have just laid it to rest yesterday, the fact she's moaning to you without acknowledging her behaviour is the above makes her the drama queen imo.

5128gap · 21/12/2025 20:06

BettysRoasties · 21/12/2025 19:59

If you was with your boss they would be at minimum paying for the food if not also paying for your time. I’d wait. My sibling is not my boss paying for my meal or time.

Show quote history

There are many occasions when you may be out with your boss socially and they are not paying for your meal. My point was that this man no doubt knows how to rein in his temper and be polite when he thinks the person warrants it. So there's no excuse to speak this way to his SiL.

JudgeJ · 21/12/2025 20:07

IvyEvolveFree · 21/12/2025 17:17

I get the idea he’s not a very nice man generally. Things like getting hangry during the extended wait - I’d expect a grown adult man to be able to control himself even when he’s physically uncomfortable. His manners seem terrible in that he immediately started serving himself when the food arrived instead of serving others. And finally the way he spoke to your sister - I feel like he wouldn’t have spoken to another man in that way. Regardless of how you feel about instagramming food, his manners should have dictated his behaviour even if
privately he thought her a bit of a spanner.

Nonsense, slow service, hunger etc are irrelevant, she was totally wrong and as for the suggestion that he serves others first, that never happens in this style of meal.

Binus · 21/12/2025 20:07

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 20:01

I repeat, do give over. Not everyone agrees with you. Not everyone posts their keyboard warrior responses that they would never, in a million years, actually say in real life. And not everyone is prepared to excuse men’s aggressive machismo to the hilt. I think the whole situation is a massive massive overreaction. And has caused family angst and strife where a tiny bit of forbearance would’ve sufficed.

and no, I’m not the sister and no, I’m not on SM though I did take a picture of my pigs on blankets to send to my mom and my DP, who has cooked the dinner, didn’t give a shit AITA?

Show quote history

I repeat, laughter emoji and oh the irony! This is not getting any more sane as you repeat it.

And since you ask, you're not the arsehole with your pigs in blankets for three reasons. It was your food, nothing you've said suggests you were entitled enough to tell other people when they could eat the food they'd paid for and you also don't mention texting another family member to be an arse the next day. Sadly, Dsis can tick nary a one of these boxes!

MrsAnon6 · 21/12/2025 20:11

Your husband was maybe abit aggressive but your sister was super rude telling him to wait so she could video it, it’s typical entitled “influencer” behaviour. You went out to eat, not to a photoshoot. I’d have probably reacted the same. Your sister needs to apologise.

Bahhhhhumbug · 21/12/2025 20:11

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 17:51

That she was shocked he was so rude and it’s not her fault he doesn’t do social media so isn’t aware that’s the done thing with a lot of people in this day and age. And that it was a 5 second video for her story so could he not have just waited as the food wouldn’t have gone cold.

Show quote history

and it's equally not his fault she does this ridiculous nonsense either, My ( late )teens grandchildren do this, fair enough, but never food FFS, only put on experiences of much more note than a bloody plate of food.
Her making me feel l was doing something wrong by tucking into food l have waited ages for would piss me off too.