Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

[HusSisargument]

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

Not having the front to try and tell someone when they can eat the meal they've paid for so you can film it without permission isn't much.

This, what an arrogant m, attention seeking twat your sister is. She’s really 33? She and her followers must live sad empty little lives if she think her evening meal is of interest to anyone other than those who are going to eat it… that’s if she lets them! How pathetic!

Team DH

Compromise is a two way street. Her comprise could have been that either she didn't photograph the food at all, or she took the photo as everyone else was serving themselves.

It comes across that she does this a lot and assumes everyone will accommodate her by waiting to eat. Maybe this isn't the first time it's happened and DH is getting irritated by it.

Not taking a video of one mean really isn't much. So, totally easy for the sister to compromise.

Again! Why are you involved? Let them sort it out

I mean, if I had to take a side then it would be your husband's as I very much agree with the sentiment. I can't stand that kind of social media crap; my sister does it sometimes and she gets short shrift from the rest of the family thank god. The language your husband used was a bit strong but only a bit - I too would be pissed off at the suggestion that we wait even longer to eat just so my sister can create yet another piece of vapid digital landfill.

Edit: I've just seen that she's 33! Fuck that she deserved everything she got.

I suppose because Dsis is trying to drag OP further into it by sending an arsey text. Rude cow.

He could have worked it differently but she could have done her weird social media thing with her own plate

And that Excuses swearing at and insulting my sister? That’s a no from me.

Time and time again on Mumsnet we are told to judge men on how they threat the women in their lives. Yet here we all are condoning swearing aggressively at our nearest and dearest.

I for one think that’s much more unforgivable than a bit of sm folly. But then maybe o like my sister more than you do yours because I would absolutely not tolerate her being spoken to by a man like that. 🤷‍♀️

No-one knows how long this Instagram filming is going to take though at the time, do they?

How does the group of diners know if it’ll be 20 seconds or 20 minutes? They don’t.

Also, I wouldn’t want to be in a poxy Instagram video, not my face, not my chest, not my hands, not any part of me. And I wouldn’t know for sure what she was pointing her phone camera at while she was doing it.

I’d be really pissed off with her.

No, she needs to sit separately if she wants to dominate the social situation to make it into a photo op. She went out to dinner, not went out to record a load of stuff for social media.

I dont have to wait 30 seconds thats the point, its not for someone to tell me to wait, its my food, Ive ordered it and she doesnt have the right to request that.

So that excuses the swearing at and insulting Of? Ok, you do you. But have a higher bar.

My partner wouldn't have said that to my sister. He would have definitely thought it. There is an unspoken rule that we stay out of each others family matters but in return we always stand up for one another with them. So whilst he wouldn't have said this to her, I, absolutely would have told her to grow the fuck up in this situation.

What did you and her partner say at the table? Were you happy with how she spoke to him?

I’m sick to the back teeth of people insta their food sorry I’m with hubby !

Hahaha, good on you for keeping this ludicrous position up, I think we've found OPs sister

She should compromise by not taking over the group dynamic and social situation by wanting to photo it and record it for 'her soshuls'

She was rude
He was hungry
The End

If you are as delicate that being told fuck off I’m eating my food so no you can’t video it, is an issue social media isn’t for you 😂

Oh get over yourself. It was a casual short term request. He’s a rude arsehole permanently.

it’s such a mn thing to say “this is what o would have done” when in reality nobody ever would’ve told their sister to sit a different table. What an absolute load of absurd bollocks.

if you’re actually like this irl and not just when you’re behind a keyboard I’d not be surprised if you have few or no strong human relationships.

Given the way you've minimised Dsis behaviour, your bar is on the floor.

Oh give over!

Oh the irony!

No apology necessary, the SIL may be obsessed with childish behaviour but not everyone wants to be part of other people's fantasy lives, shew was incredibly rude to him demanding that he stopped.

He's right.

I’m with your DH, he was hungry and you’d waited long enough. Your DSIS could have taken her video once you were all served and eating. She didn’t have to film all the plates, hers and her DP’s would have been fine.