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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
Upsetbetty · 21/12/2025 16:36

I’m with your dh sorry. Fuck that.

GarlicBreadStan · 21/12/2025 16:36

I'm also on your DH's side

Holluschickie · 21/12/2025 16:36

I find social.media obsessives very annoying but he shouldnt have snapped. And if he did, he should have apologised.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 21/12/2025 16:37

He was rude, she was annoying.

A quick photo I get, but a video? When others are waiting to eat? Rude. Especially when you know others are hungry and have waited.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/12/2025 16:37

I’m with your DH.

He should’ve been told in advance that the food was a photo opportunity, not for eating.

IwishIcouldconfess · 21/12/2025 16:38

Both as bad as each other

WhatNoRaisins · 21/12/2025 16:38

If your DSis is about 15 I'd have some sympathy for her. If she's an adult then I wouldn't.

Applespearsandpeaches · 21/12/2025 16:38

I think they’re both wrong. Your DH for being quite so aggressive in his choice of language and your sister for being obnoxious wanting to take a video of the shared food for social media (unless she was being paid as an influencer to post an advert of it). I’d expect both to apologise to each other and then I’d probably avoid any further joint meals for a while.

Evaka · 21/12/2025 16:39

Your sister is a massive twat.

Ellbee83 · 21/12/2025 16:39

Team DH here.
I'm one for taking pictures of food, drinks, etc. but I 100% realise it's a ridiculous, self-indulgent nonsense and NO ONE should be delayed from eating or drinking because of my need for SM validation!

somanychristmaslights · 21/12/2025 16:39

He could have said it in a nicer way, but I’m with him. A quick photo yes but not a video.

brightbevs · 21/12/2025 16:39

Two wrongs don’t make a right. His frustration was understandable but it doesn’t excuse him speaking to your sister that way, he was extremely rude.

That said, I wouldn’t involve myself further than to tell him it’s up to him if he apologises or not but if he doesn’t he cannot simply expect everyone to move on from it. I’d tell my sister that I’m not responsible for the words that come out of my DH’s mouth and I hope she has a lovely Christmas.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 16:39

She was annoying but jeez he was rude and if my DP spoke to my Dsis like that I would be very unimpressed.

Coffeeishot · 21/12/2025 16:39

I mean he swore at his sister in law is he in the habit of telling people to fuck off when he is agitated !

xanthomelana · 21/12/2025 16:39

Team Dh here. You go to a restaurant to eat not for instagram likes.

FOJN · 21/12/2025 16:40

I'm on your DH's side and I would have been even less polite. Its selfish expecting other people to wait to eat so you can record a video for SM. Your Sister does need to grow up.

Sarah2891 · 21/12/2025 16:40

Why does anyone need a photo or a video of their food for social media? It's ridiculous.
I'm with your DH, even though he said it in a different to way to what I would.

Celestialmoods · 21/12/2025 16:40

Food is for eating, not videoing.

Blueuggboots · 21/12/2025 16:40

Ridiculous behaviour from your sister. Your husband possibly could have been more polite, but no, I wouldn’t be waiting for someone to take a video either!!!!

caringcarer · 21/12/2025 16:40

somanychristmaslights · 21/12/2025 16:39

He could have said it in a nicer way, but I’m with him. A quick photo yes but not a video.

This. Food would just be getting cold.

Yapper73 · 21/12/2025 16:40

Hangry or not he didn’t have to speak to her like that.

XWKD · 21/12/2025 16:41

Team DH here.

Brightbluesomething · 21/12/2025 16:41

Your DH wasn’t in the wrong. This would infuriate me. I might also say something similar. DSis needs to work on being present in social situations instead of taking photos to boost her own ego/likes. This was not his fault and she needs to stop it. It’s egotistical and shallow to constantly document your life like this.

DancingFerret · 21/12/2025 16:41

Your DH was right; your Dsis does need to grow up - or expand her horizons.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/12/2025 16:42

I think she was ruder.

Telling someone not to eat food that he’d ordered and presumably paid for. He wasn’t even eating it, just putting it on his plate.

Maybe he shouldn’t have sworn, but I think she was the ruder person.