Scratchcard Win

[MissLead]

So yesterday we had our annual pre-Xmas family meal (my brother, sister partners and kids).

every year we have done this I’ve bought everyone a scratchcard as a bit of fun.

BIL won £50k on his card yesterday and is not going to share it!

I think he should!!!!

I'm a-wonder that you think he should share his Christmas present with you.

The gift is just a little scrap of cardboard, then?

I would never gift a scratch card, for this reason.

Putting myself in your position I personally wouldn’t expect a share but I’d be very grateful to receive say £1K of it as a “thanks for the scratch card” sort of thing. I wouldn’t actively go out my way to assume or ask for a share even though I’d be happy for the person and secretly jealous!

Legally, you gifted it to him and he won, its his. Morally, you gifted it to him, but a little appreciation of that fact would go a long way!

But presumably that's all agreed in advance? You can't just set random rules after someone has won!

One person winning makes it a happier for everyone - is that not the point of Christmas?

Obviously the whole thing is luck and nothing to do with the giver, so unlike most gifts that are given as solely for the recipient.

As it happens I always share a box of chocolates if I open them, as do the rest of my family and friends.

If the card is a winner, then the holder of the card will still gain their share of the winnings. BIL will have a share of £50k that he wouldn’t have had without the card the OP bought him.

Of course he should share, what kind of person wouldn’t?

If i won £50k, even if someone had given me the scratchcard as a present, I'd donate it between my children, parents and PIL.

My enjoyment would come first.from seeing their pleasure and knowing that they would be happy.

As a family we all assumed that was the case- not like work where I have a syndicate with a signed contract- small wins get reinvested in scratch cards. No big wins sadly!

There was always a (small) chance someone would win... why did you buy scratch cards as gifts if you had such strong opinions about people needing to share and not make this clear before gifting them?

You sound utterly bitter and childish.

Sore loser? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think it's easy to assume things when nobody has actually won anything massive though...

Because she thought they weren't arseholes?

That's very easy to say when you haven't won!

It's not being an arsehole to keep the winnings you won from a gift, though.

Gifts shouldn't come with expectations.

Wanting to keep the gift you were given doesn't make you an arsehole.

Honestly, I wouldn't. I'd give most of it to my DC (who really need it), I'd keep some to treat myself because it was my card that won, and I might give some to the other family members, but I wouldn't share it out equally.

Morally it's very poor form but as soon as you gave him the card it's his choice.

I expect that depends entirely on your situation at that time.

If it were me I would probably feel compelled to share (some) but not 50/50! Also depends who bought the scratch card and how badly they needed the money.

You're getting some shitty responses on here OP. For what it's worth, I would absolutely assume a big win would be shared between the couples!

What an extremely immature comment! 🤣🤣🤣

I understand you’re bitter, but really?

Me. I'm telling you right now that I will decide how to spend my Christmas present as a I see fit. There had been no prior agreement or consultation about this until BiL won. If I were feeling particularly generous, I might bung £1k at the OP. But I'm sure a man with a wife and kids can think of plenty of things to spend £50k winnings on rather than share go halvers the full amount with the person who bought him the ticket.

OP has learned a lesson for the future. Don't buy scratchcards as presents for people. It's a bit of a shit present unless you are genuinely committed to leaving the person to enjoy their filthy lucre in the extremely unlikely event they win a decent sum. Secondly, if you DO still want to buy scratch cards as gifts, agree in advance what will happen such anyone win big.

Don't say nothing and THEN come on Mumsnet in high dudgeon after the fact with a deeply Daily Mailable story.

Most of the shitty comments are coming from the OP.

But its not necessarily arsehole behaviour.

Where does the expectation of sharing end? If op gifted a painting or piece of jewellery that quadrupled in value after 6 months and the recipient chose to sell it, should they share the profit?

Or a bottle of wine? Should that have been opened and shared amongst everyone at the table?

Gifts are usually given without terms and conditions attached to them...if op had such strong opinions on the sharing of any winnings, she should have said this before gifting