To ask what very normal part of being a woman you were gaslit about?

[BlackCatDiscoClub]

Thankfully we are at a time when women's bodies and their experiences are much better understood and talked about, but it wasn't always like that! I'm only in my 40s but I have one I'd like to share:

Ovulation pain. Ever since my cycles began, I have had quite severe ovulation pain. Even today when I'm in peri, the pain can be so sharp that it takes my breath away, or I have to limp when I walk to take the pressure of it. But I remember when I was younger telling people about it, and how I could tell which ovary was ovulating because of the pain, and was outright told "no thats not possible, ovulation pain isn't a thing". It was only in my 30s that I discovered that in Germany they had always known about ovulation pain, and called it mittelschmerz, 'middle pain' because it happens in the middle of a cycle!

I wondered if any other women have experienced being gaslit about something that turned out to be a totally normal for a female body?

Surely it was coming from ignorance rather than 'gaslighting' women.

It is also called mittelschmerz in the UK, and has been known about for decades. Also, you are using "gaslit" inappropriately.

You cant call it ignorance if women are telling you something and you decide they are wrong surely?

Ignorance?

more it came from ignoring the accounts of women

even if half a dozen women told a doctor it was a problem the doctor would ignore these reports and that’s how ignorance about it set in

So, if ovulation pain was already known about by doctors, but when women reported this experience to doctors they were told it wasn't real, what would you call that?

But how could doctors be ignorant about it if, as other PP have said, it was very well known about?

Child birth where having had an incredibly painful forcep delivery with a large number of stitches ( DD was stuck via her shoulder( I was expected to be up and out of the hospital and cooking dinner in a week! My in laws insisted on coming to stay one month later and also wanted a lovely lasagna - I was just about coming off the morphine.

Lack of empathy and disinterest in something that was not indicative of disease.

To be honest op, I knew which ovary was ovulating and read an article about mittelschmerz in my mid 20s, so 40 years ago. You are over-reacting here.

Because if it was well known you could have taken the article / nhs web page with you

medicine isn’t the same in every country and not all doctors learn the same thing even in the uk

I've never had ovulation pain. I wonder how common it is. Maybe they aren't lying and it's just not their experience.

I dont think you know what 'gaslighting' means.

I was fobbed off for years over pain linked to menstrual cycle - I say that but at the end, the pain was unrelenting rather than cyclical. It turned out that everything that could be wrong was wrong - endo, adenomyosis, fibroids.

I had everything out in the end which was marvellous, but I'd suffered for 30 years till then, essentially since my periods started until my early 40s - pain that had me throwing up, passing out, bent double - I was eventually taking more than 10x the recommended dose of NSAIDs in order to get through the working day, and my stomach is permanently damaged from that.

The point is, you are mis-using the word 'gaslit'.

Women's issues have been ignored or minimised by large parts of the medical profession for centuries. It is disgraceful, but it is not 'gaslighting'.

Gaslighting is a pattern of abuse which makes the victim question their version of reality.

It isn't someone disagreeing with you or just not knowing what you're talking about.

As I said to a PP, if ovulation pain was well known to doctors (as has been said above), but when I've spoken to doctors about it they told me it wasn't real, what would you call that?

I’m not sure you are using the term gas lit correctly.

I was told women could have it all. Career, husband and family and motherhood.

Taking time for pregnancy and maternity affects your career (in my field) savagely.

Told period pain is normal and not to make a fuss. Bleeding and passing huge clots of blood is neither normal or something anyone should ignore

As above, 'ignorance' or 'lack of interest'.

Gaslighting is the manipulation of someone into questioning their perception of reality.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

I think OP knows what gaslighting is.

I'd call it ignorance because not all doctors agree with every study.

Another time and another place you may have found a doctor who did.

You're not using gaslit correctly @BlackCatDiscoClub .Gaslighting - Wikipedia

Thank you! Ironically those responses were making me think I'd gone mad 🤣

Name checks out

Even if it isn't gaslighting, there has certainly been so much ignorance , minimisation and misinformation about periods, endometriosis and women's bodies in general. I can only say that I am glad that girls growing up in the 2020s, including my DD, have much better access to correct information and support than I or my mother ever did.

This was absolutely my experience of being told by medics that my periods were normal, I should smile more often, take painkillers (thanks I never thought of that), to the extent that I don’t trust my own observations of my health and assume I’m being over dramatic. It goes beyond someone disagreeing with you and it genuinely made me feel pathetic and like I was going insane, because why was I unable to walk when others could have a normal life.

Turns out I have pretty bad endometriosis but this wasn’t diagnosed till I was in my 40s.

And yes to people saying ovulation pain isn’t a thing.

Exactly!