I just wish people would stop sending me Christmas cards

[iCod]

They're pointless, wasteful and a poor form of communication. All I do is read the "Happy Christmas from Joe and Julie" and walk them to the recycling.

I haven't sent any for over 25 years and I just don't see the need for them at all.

What is the point then? I’m missing it too I think.

A corporate one should feature The Old Curiosity Shop. It’s a rule 🔨

I got the point they were making. People spend a lot on food - well some people do - so why don't people buy cards. Tbh I really don't care what other people do. If people don't want to buy people cards they are perfectly entitled not to and that's up to them

Yes, I know. But I hate the whole ‘stuffing your face’ , ‘scoffing down’ troughing’ type of language about eating on here.

I like a Dickensian card. I actually like all Christmas cards.
I even like e cards and love a long round robin about people's operations and similar.

I like them, and I think it’s a bit sad that it’s dying out as a tradition. I have whittled my list down a lot these days, but for the few left I still enjoy choosing nice ones that I think the recipient will like. I do add an individual message, not just names! I agree that younger people are stopping sending them, but I still have a fair few people on my list who are older, often single or bereaved, eg. former colleagues or friends of my parents who were kind to me as a child, who I know still enjoy and appreciate a card at Christmas.

We all know that Dave at work or one’s thirtysomething friends can text or Slack or email instead. But for Auntie June who lives alone half the country away, or Reg the elderly widower of your godparent, or your mum’s best friend who used to buy you lovely books when you were a kid, or your mentor from early in your career who’s now retired and who you want to show you still think of — those are the people who really do appreciate a card, and honestly I love sending them, and choosing something nice from a museum or something with cats on for Auntie June who loves cats, or whatever. And I still have a few friends my own age who like sending and receiving them, too.

If you don’t care about them, fine. But I do think that being sneery about something someone else has done at their own expense, just to show they’re thinking of you even if momentarily, is way more déclassé than any “working class” card (nice stirring there, OP 😆)

It offended me because I do send my dm a card with mum on, and my husband with husband on, and my young dcs a card too. I don't send any others as unfortunately everybody else who I would see is dead. Box cards go to dh's two elderly relatives who live far away. I don't send to the neighbours unless they give us one.

I grew up in a owned home, and now my family and I own our home too. No idea if I'm working class or not, as personally I don't believe in those labels; it is really condescending.

I agree there should not be a stereotype, and I have never heard of that one before.

I agree it’s nice to think of people - I just don’t think Christmas cards are a good way to show it.

I think it's abit of a waste to send them to everybody but I'm fine with it being close relatives and friends.
Besides, I keep the really nice ones and put them up every year.....they are basically decorations!

We moved around a bit in our twenties and thirties so have friends we rarely see so it's a good way to keep in touch ...until the next time.
I keep saying I will get a new address book so I don't get sad seeing all the people who are no longer around.

Same, especially from people I have known for many years and never get to see who live far away. It's a way of keeping in touch and saying 'I still think of you'. I type a letter with all of our news from the year and add photos to mine as I never have time to write in the cards individually, but I like being able to share that with people I've known over the years.

This is hilarious, or maybe Poundland rather than Harrods. Cards are cards, they are a gesture to another person, who cares what class they represent.

Pathetic isn't it.
With any luck this shit will die out soon.

Have you told the people who send cards to you that you would rather they didn't, @iCod? Do you tell them their cards go straight in the recycling? They may be assuming that you put them up in your living room as part of the Christmas decoration, each card marking a token to remind you that someone gives a shit whether you live or die. Best to let them know you don't appreciate their efforts, so they can save their time, money and emotional energy. If they already know how little you value what they send and choose to send it anyway then of course that's up to them to choose to be so wasteful.

This absolutely.

I must admit I do get a little fed up when I get a two word message like ‘from Elaine’ and wonder what’s the point.

However, I actually enjoy writing Christmas cards so will keep doing it. I write something cheerful on each one and try to give an update of my own situation where appropriate without being too tedious about it. I like to choose really nice cards so it’s a pleasure for me to write them. Yes it’s a bit of a chore addressing and stamping but to me it’s worth it.

I don’t criticise those who choose not to send cards, it’s a personal decision and I respect it, although I think telling people you don’t want cards from them, or putting them in the recycling without reading them is a bit rude.

I agree with this.

You can spend time and money to send a Christmas card and say it’s to show thought but can’t put that energy into a phone and text to meet up sometime.

Doesn’t come off as thoughtful as some make it out to be to me either in such circumstances especially when the card literally says what could have been put in a text message.

It’s more for the giver than the receiver.

I’m not big on cards and DH’s family is. He’s in charge of writing and sending them out. No clue if he sent them this year and I told him where they were so rest was up to him.

Only two received actually had more than a handful of words and that was from his Uncle who is in his late 70s and our nephew who is 5.

Cards go in the bin before New Years. We don’t hang them up because I’m not going to spend the holidays having to put them back up repeatedly because oldest autistic child will pull them down and then toddler will likely try to bite them (currently teething). It is the reason we have a felt Christmas tree vs an actual one.

But I send cards to people who don’t have or don’t really use email and who I don’t meet up with maybe for years at a time. Do I not send a card to great aunt Mildred in Scotland just because I don’t have the chance to see her for years at a time and she’s too deaf to talk by phone? (I do actually have a deaf Scottish great aunt Mildred, as it happens, so that isn’t hypothetical!) I send cards to people I’m not in touch with more informally precisely because it’s the kind of thing they like.

You might as well say “I don’t see the point of writing letters now we have email”. But some people like to write and send a letter precisely because it isn’t text or email. It’s the same thing with cards. You think they’re pointless, but plenty more people think differently and have their own reasons why.

Simply going on a “oh they’re pointless” jag in a sneery way (as a lot of this thread demonstrates, I don’t mean you direct here @phoenixrosehere but a lot of the posters), is just really a way of some people being performatively superior about other people’s choices. They’re not clubbing baby seals to death; they’re spending a bit of money sending a festive card. What a whingefest on this thread, honestly!

On the scale of things to be annoyed about, @iCod OP, you’ve got to have a charmed life if Christmas cards annoy you that much. Getting a few cards when I don’t really get the point of them wouldn’t even register on my scale of irritants in life, to be honest.

If the only thing they do to show they care if I live or die is send a card once a year, I’m not sure they care all that much. There are better ways of showing that and if they are my friends we’ll have done things for each other regularly. The card is neither here nor there.

I live in the south of Ireland. I have several friends in East Anglia...it's a couple of years since I was there. So we don't meet up often. They are welcome here any time. But Christmas cards are a handy way to keep in touch until the next time. (Yes I know what's app is available).

I like sending them all out. A family friend sent them for the first time this year after his wife died… and I’m glad he will receive mine in return and know that he is loved. My wider family exchange them, my neighbours, my husbands elderly relatives and on and on in a wide net of connection and community.

I think it’s beautiful.

Don’t you have any older relatives/friends/teachers/colleagues/mentors who live around the country and/or who you can’t easily meet up with and don’t ring but still like to exchange news with and ask how they are once a year?

If you don’t, can you at least imagine that other people do? Why do you assume there isn’t a good reason and we’re all idiots for sending them?

I don’t ever meet up with an old tutor from university who mentored me, and who retired to live across the country where I never have time to go, and neither am I likely to ring or text her, but I know she still really appreciates a card at Christmas with my news on. I have relatives and relatives in law who like to hear how my DD is getting on, and who send her money occasionally, but who aren’t my friends, and who I’d never otherwise meet up with or message. I know older, quite distant relatives who’ve been bereaved this year, and I’m not going to send them a cheery text suggesting going to the pub from half the country away, and I know they don’t want a phone call, but I have still sent them a card with a message saying I’m thinking of them at Christmas. I send DD’s music teacher a card saying thank you for her support with a small gift; I send my boss at work a card because he and his wife always make a point of sending one personally written to everyone in the organisation; I send a card every Christmas to the people who I rehomed my cat from, with a message and a photo saying how she is. I’m not going to meet up with any of them and none of them are my “mates”: a card is exactly the right thing.

Just tell people you don't want them. I'd appreciate if someone I was sending them to just said this and saved me the stamp money.

Agree. We should just donate the money to charity.

Next year I'm going to make a personalised working class card - a photo of me standing outside the football team I support (provincial club in the west of Scotland)

I'll personalise it with fuck you to all my horrible neighbours (too many)

(even though I'm working class I now have a council house in quite a so called posh area of my home town)

And have a nice Christmas to the ones that are nice

I think it could catch on and make me a fortune

I'll also do an e card version to save the planet

My gran was housebound for the last ten years of her life and and she used to keep in touch with a relative that lived a long distance away. He was in his 90s and he used to send her a card and a letter at Christmas. They kept in touch at other times too but some people like getting cards for reasons - because they can't get out and see people anymore