Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I just wish people would stop sending me Christmas cards

266 replies

iCod · 20/12/2025 15:00

They're pointless, wasteful and a poor form of communication. All I do is read the "Happy Christmas from Joe and Julie" and walk them to the recycling.

I haven't sent any for over 25 years and I just don't see the need for them at all.

OP posts:
gannett · 21/12/2025 07:27

iCod · 20/12/2025 16:10

I gave up because I suddenly realised it was wife work and if women didn't do them men certainly wouldn't

This is a very good point.

I don't resent receiving a smattering of Xmas cards - it's always nice to be thought of, even in a generic way, though my primary reaction when getting one is usually "people are still doing this in 2025?!" But ultimately they seem utterly pointless nowadays so I admire the OP's fervent anti-card stance.

If you really wanted to show someone you were thinking of them you'd make the effort to stay in touch year-round, not just feed poor lonely Auntie June a crumb of generic communication once a year.

Gloriia · 21/12/2025 08:27

'If you really wanted to show someone you were thinking of them you'd make the effort to stay in touch year-round, not just feed poor lonely Auntie June a crumb of generic communication once a year.'

Most will be in touch with everyone they send a card to they won't just send a crumb at Christmas.

'I don’t ’stuff my face’ at Christmas or otherwise'

Well that's nice that you don't but Christmas is traditionally a time of greed and overindulgence. If you can't find 10 mins in your busy shopping schedule to send good wishes to someone who may be low or lonely then sorry but the whole meaning of christmas is lost on some of you.

catontheironingboard · 21/12/2025 09:08

If you really wanted to show someone you were thinking of them you'd make the effort to stay in touch year-round, not just feed poor lonely Auntie June a crumb of generic communication once a year.

Auntie June isn’t lonely - she has ten times more friends and hobbies than me - and I don’t think she particularly wants me to be constantly in touch with her! She does, however, really like a card at Christmas.

phoenixrosehere · 21/12/2025 09:19

catontheironingboard · 20/12/2025 21:45

But I send cards to people who don’t have or don’t really use email and who I don’t meet up with maybe for years at a time. Do I not send a card to great aunt Mildred in Scotland just because I don’t have the chance to see her for years at a time and she’s too deaf to talk by phone? (I do actually have a deaf Scottish great aunt Mildred, as it happens, so that isn’t hypothetical!) I send cards to people I’m not in touch with more informally precisely because it’s the kind of thing they like.

You might as well say “I don’t see the point of writing letters now we have email”. But some people like to write and send a letter precisely because it isn’t text or email. It’s the same thing with cards. You think they’re pointless, but plenty more people think differently and have their own reasons why.

Simply going on a “oh they’re pointless” jag in a sneery way (as a lot of this thread demonstrates, I don’t mean you direct here @phoenixrosehere but a lot of the posters), is just really a way of some people being performatively superior about other people’s choices. They’re not clubbing baby seals to death; they’re spending a bit of money sending a festive card. What a whingefest on this thread, honestly!

On the scale of things to be annoyed about, @iCod OP, you’ve got to have a charmed life if Christmas cards annoy you that much. Getting a few cards when I don’t really get the point of them wouldn’t even register on my scale of irritants in life, to be honest.

That’s understandable. I did say in the instance that the specific poster described.

Christmas cards were not a thing in my specific family growing up and I understand why when it would have been my mum doing them and she wasn’t going to add that on top of everything else to do for Christmas.

If you have people like you describe, absolutely, but some of us don’t and it can feel a bit disingenuous to receive a Christmas Card with ‘love xyz’ vs taking the time to call and have a chat/ catch up when it likely takes more time, energy, and money to buy, write, and send vs calling and having a chat.

People are more than allowed to spend their money and time how they see fit but in regards to the poster I agreed with, it doesn’t make sense to me and they don’t fall into the category you describe. Even more so there is no guarantee that the card will actually make it there and you have to call anyway to see if the person got it otherwise someone will think they’ve been snubbed from what I have read on here but I find some people here seem quick to jump to offence in such cases vs all other possibilities.

As I said, I leave it to my husband to sort and my only support in it is picking them up (buy the ones that the kids design at school knowing the money supports the school) and reminding/telling him where the cards are. If the school didn’t offer that, he would be doing the entire Christmas Card thing on his own and knowing him, it would be hit or miss depending on how much he actually cares to do it or remembers. It is not a chore I desire (hypermobility in my hands), Christmas is not my thing (I have asked not to be given presents and that has been ignored so I’ve given up), and DH knows that. I celebrate and make it special for the kids so they have good memories and love any excuse to be creative and that’s it.

PixieTales · 21/12/2025 09:20

This year I’ve had neighbours I’ve never even met write cards to us….Now that is odd and pointless.

Saturdaysun · 21/12/2025 09:35

BackToBeingACatSlave · 20/12/2025 16:51

My partner puts them in the recycling without even opening them. We’ve told people we don’t want them so I think that’s fair. We don’t send any which doesn’t suit a few people but 🤷🏻‍♀️

Savage….but fair!

They make me grumpy when they appear in the doormat. Especially from people I text daily, …then I realise how much a stamp costs.

Gloriia · 21/12/2025 09:35

PixieTales · 21/12/2025 09:20

This year I’ve had neighbours I’ve never even met write cards to us….Now that is odd and pointless.

It's just sharing good tidings! It's a nice thing. If folk were knocking on doors and forcing the OpeningDoorRefusers to chat I could understand the horror that this nice tradition caused.

Saturdaysun · 21/12/2025 09:45

catontheironingboard · 21/12/2025 09:08

If you really wanted to show someone you were thinking of them you'd make the effort to stay in touch year-round, not just feed poor lonely Auntie June a crumb of generic communication once a year.

Auntie June isn’t lonely - she has ten times more friends and hobbies than me - and I don’t think she particularly wants me to be constantly in touch with her! She does, however, really like a card at Christmas.

Yes I find my older relatives do like them. Plus my 85 year old Aunt likes to send cards to people she hasn’t seen for a while so people know she’s still alive!

Roobarbtwo · 21/12/2025 10:09

I bet the guy who got 50 quid a year from his boss in a card regretted throwing them in the bin :)

iCod · 21/12/2025 10:44

Oh I open.
read.
bin

takes about two minutes so it's hardly great inconvenience. I just don't even see the point of that.

OP posts:
iCod · 21/12/2025 10:44

Roobarbtwo · 20/12/2025 23:54

You can have all the opinions you like about Christmas cards Op. But don't use it to make snide digs about people like me sending "dear mum" cards. Because that makes you look like a crashing snob

GUILTY AS CHARGED

OP posts:
HaveaVeryMerryBerryChristmas · 21/12/2025 10:51

iCod · 21/12/2025 10:44

GUILTY AS CHARGED

Sounds like you need to hold the mirror up than.

Roobarbtwo · 21/12/2025 10:53

iCod · 21/12/2025 10:44

GUILTY AS CHARGED

That's fair enough - if I actually sent a "dear mum" card (because I'm working class).

I don't

LaMelodieduBonheur · 21/12/2025 11:00

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 20/12/2025 16:34

Elderly people love getting them so please keep sending to them. Send beginning Dec as well. Honestly it might be a chore but it will cheer their day.

40s, 50s generation not so bothered.

The next generation probably won’t contemplate sending any at all.

We live a long way from my family but are going to stay with my Mum for Christmas. Personally I don't see the need to send her or my brother a card as we will be seeing them, but they expect it!

Now you can get personalised photo Christmas cards, I write a letter and send a card which shows a selection of photos of us and the kids over the past year....to me it makes it more meaningful. It's not the cost of the cards that bothers me, it's the postage!

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:12

catontheironingboard · 20/12/2025 22:07

Don’t you have any older relatives/friends/teachers/colleagues/mentors who live around the country and/or who you can’t easily meet up with and don’t ring but still like to exchange news with and ask how they are once a year?

If you don’t, can you at least imagine that other people do? Why do you assume there isn’t a good reason and we’re all idiots for sending them?

I don’t ever meet up with an old tutor from university who mentored me, and who retired to live across the country where I never have time to go, and neither am I likely to ring or text her, but I know she still really appreciates a card at Christmas with my news on. I have relatives and relatives in law who like to hear how my DD is getting on, and who send her money occasionally, but who aren’t my friends, and who I’d never otherwise meet up with or message. I know older, quite distant relatives who’ve been bereaved this year, and I’m not going to send them a cheery text suggesting going to the pub from half the country away, and I know they don’t want a phone call, but I have still sent them a card with a message saying I’m thinking of them at Christmas. I send DD’s music teacher a card saying thank you for her support with a small gift; I send my boss at work a card because he and his wife always make a point of sending one personally written to everyone in the organisation; I send a card every Christmas to the people who I rehomed my cat from, with a message and a photo saying how she is. I’m not going to meet up with any of them and none of them are my “mates”: a card is exactly the right thing.

Where did I say anyone was an idiot?
Yes. Lots of friends of various ages all over the place with whom I keep in regular contact rather than waiting until Christmas. Many of those you mention I wouldn’t have sent cards to even when I did send them. I genuinely think that if someone isn’t close enough that you manage to keep in touch more than once a year then it’s not worth it for either of you at Christmas. You can disagree, obviously - but can’t you at least imagine that other people feel as I do (as evidenced on the thread)?

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:15

HostaCentral · 20/12/2025 22:35

I'm so sad people are so mean and lazy they just send an email or text. I love sending and receiving cards. They are little works of art in themselves. I have a neighbour who paints a landscape and sends that as a card every year. A relative is a card designer. Another makes all her cards. I think we are losing a little bit more of tradition every year, and it saddens me.

It isn’t mean and it isn’t lazy. Stop judging people for not being just like you.

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:16

catontheironingboard · 20/12/2025 22:51

Yes I also buy them for the designs. I tend to like ones with houses on, and perhaps birds, or something like a historical card design, or a nice print. I really like matching the card to the recipient and choosing one because I know they’d like it. I have an elderly relative who especially likes cards with robins on, so I look out every year for a nice one. For 20-30 people in total, it doesn’t take me ages, I enjoy it, and I know the recipients appreciate it because they say so to me!

😆 I wouldn’t dare to send a Christmas card to a bunch of Scrooges with affronted sucked-lemon faces on at the very thought of the horror of receiving a small folded piece of recyclable paper product in the post 😂

Edited

Again. Not liking cards doesn’t make you Scrooge. Being judgmental is closer to Scrooge like behaviour. It’s entirely possible to be kind, generous, love Christmas and still hate cards.

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:20

Denim4ever · 21/12/2025 00:26

They are supposed to be displayed and then recycled. I use mine to make gift tags

People who don’t like cards know what they are supposed to be for. We just don’t find them particularly decorative.

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:21

Lelophants · 21/12/2025 06:51

The point for those who quoted me, is that the person sending them does think theyre doing a nice thing.
And throwing something away before opening it is just nasty.

I do open, but I don’t display. It doesn’t affect the sender at all. They’ll never know. It’s like getting a gift you don’t want. You accept it nicely and say thank you but you aren’t obligated to keep and use it.

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:22

Gloriia · 21/12/2025 08:27

'If you really wanted to show someone you were thinking of them you'd make the effort to stay in touch year-round, not just feed poor lonely Auntie June a crumb of generic communication once a year.'

Most will be in touch with everyone they send a card to they won't just send a crumb at Christmas.

'I don’t ’stuff my face’ at Christmas or otherwise'

Well that's nice that you don't but Christmas is traditionally a time of greed and overindulgence. If you can't find 10 mins in your busy shopping schedule to send good wishes to someone who may be low or lonely then sorry but the whole meaning of christmas is lost on some of you.

Christmas is a time of greed? Since when? I think you may have missed the whole point and cards are the least of your worries.

Denim4ever · 21/12/2025 12:52

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:20

People who don’t like cards know what they are supposed to be for. We just don’t find them particularly decorative.

Edited

And you feel you have to be blunt about it

iCod · 21/12/2025 13:15

If you like cards, crack on! We don't. 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
HaveaVeryMerryBerryChristmas · 21/12/2025 13:40

iCod · 21/12/2025 13:15

If you like cards, crack on! We don't. 🤷‍♀️

Loud and clear, why do you need a thread about it? It's subjective and nothing to do with "class." Infact I judge people who make slurs about class, as that is classless.

Gloriia · 21/12/2025 13:54

HaveaVeryMerryBerryChristmas · 21/12/2025 13:40

Loud and clear, why do you need a thread about it? It's subjective and nothing to do with "class." Infact I judge people who make slurs about class, as that is classless.

Some folk just like to get people arguing. Not in the spirit of Christmas if you ask me Xmas Sad. Tbf I'm not bothered either way but if someone sends me one I don't have an attack of the vapours and run to the recycling bin.

Gloriia · 21/12/2025 13:57

cardibach · 21/12/2025 11:22

Christmas is a time of greed? Since when? I think you may have missed the whole point and cards are the least of your worries.

Oh! I maybe missed all the massive overindulgence that goes on everywhere you look? We'll have everyone on a diet in Jan.

It's ok to be greedy, just you know send your Nan or whomever a card too. They like them.