A secret Santa one (peed off)

[OneGreyBiscuit]

Went out with girls from work and done secret Santa. The spend was £20. I got a tiny box of celebrations, cheap socks with my initial on and mug with my name inserted into a quote. It basically looked like a raffle and nowhere near £20 worth, a tenner at best. I had to sit there and watch others opening some lovely things - an ornament from next, no7 stuff, fuzzy duck, perfume. And the thing is I know full well who it was from. Obviously that person doesn't think as much of me as I hoped. Aibu to feel a little miffed? Id appreciate no hateful comments as I feel crap enough.

I would be happy with these! More thoughtful than the others!

No, because my friend's honest. If she thought it was nice she'd tell me and say I'm being unreasonable, thanks

I’d love that gift. I love giving and receiving mugs and socks, and would be so touched that they’d been personalised. The giver obviously put a lot of effort in. YABVU.

If shes not experienced it i can see why it didn't register as an issue, I would have assumed hot flushes meant you sometimes got too hot but that at other times would be regular temperature and use the hot water bottle.
Is hot flushes actually a permanent feeling of being warm rather than intermittent bursts of it?

Maybe Ive missed it but I have searched and can't find anything saying poundland has ever sold initialed socks.

I actually can't really find any for less than £5 at the very cheapest most cost a lot more.

If someone got me perfume or makeup I’d be unimpressed as I don’t use that stuff. So maybe others felt the same.
SS is rubbish!

Seriously? Grow up.

Nobody takes part in a Secret Santa to receive decent gifts. SS is always shit. Next year say you don't want to be part of it.

Secret Santa is always disappointing, I’ve never received anything that I would have picked for myself and I’ve watched the person that I bought for look completely disappointed even though I thought I had chosen a good gift.

“Girls from Work” won’t know you as well as your friends and family do. It sounds like the person did put some thought into it my choosing your initials. Do you work somewhere where you could use the mug there? If you don’t like it that much you won’t be upset if it goes missing and everyone will know it’s yours with your name being on it. If they saved some money it won’t be much. There are worse gifts you could have got.

You’ve made yourself sound even worse by moaning to other people about the gifts too! I’m with PPs who have said this probably did amount to £20. You sound very ungrateful, I’d suggest trying to move on from the secret Santa, as it seems to be taking up a lot of your time and energy, and opting out of next years!

I think it's because the opening post was quite dramatic it's wording -you seem devastated by a gift that really isn't bad. What you've bought is not really any different effort or quality wise than hers -you've both gone for generic bits and bobs and that's fine for a SS present. The person you bought for may also be underwhelmed, you never know. It really doesn't matter that much. It's a cheap Christmas gift for fun, you are attaching far too much meaning to it.
You didn't love her present, some people here wouldn't love your present. That's ok. There's nothing else to it than different tastes.
Don't get involved next year. It clearly has caused you a fair amount of upset and it's just not worth it over a something that is supposed to be a bit of fun.

So are you saying you and your friend don't share the same views and dont agree with each other or big each other up?

You don't actually sound like friends then. Friendships wouldn't exist if you had opposite views on life and told each other your wrong all the time.

Especially on small things like this, most friends don't rock the boat when their mate is irrationally fuming, its like telling an angry person to calm down. They just say 'yeah, I know right?'. No point throwing water on a chip pan fire and upsetting your already mad friend for something that doesn't even effect you or matter.

I mean it is also possible you and your friend share the same views on most things in which case your friend is telling the truth and your both just being wrong and rude too... that would explain your 'friendship'.

Wow, you must have a wonderful life if this qualifies as something to get upset about.

Personalised stuff is always extra, including delivery charges. I feel like they've thought about it and assumed you'd like it. I personally prefer one expensive present rather than bits of crap. One perfume/box of hotel chocolat chocolates etc. I vowed to never again participate in Secret Santa when I received a bag hook to hang my bag to tables! Everyone else got lovely chocolates or a bottle of fizz.

Take from it that at least they made an effort, OP - they got a mug with your name on it, either by searching one out or getting it printed; they also found socks with your initial. The small box of chocolates indicates they were making it up to the £20 - I expect they paid over the odds for the mug and socks in the Christmas run-up.

I wouldn't be thrilled with those gifts either - I've got dozens of mugs, I don't wear socks (I don't wear trousers and socks don't go well with skirts when you're in your 50s 😆) and I don't like 'Celebrations' - but it's unfair to say no thought went into it.

Best not to do Secret Santa with any expectations of getting something you actually want - then you won't be disappointed.

Not quite sure how I have been a hypocrite?

I do think all the gifts were shit. Your gifts were shit. Their gifts were shit. Not sure how that makes me a hypocrite.

You, however, are a hypocrite for picking out absolute shit for people then being annoyed at people who got you shit in return.

That being said, at least the person who got you the mug and socks got them personalised...which is more than you did. If anyone has a right to be annoyed here, it's the person who received the tat you bought them.

That’s the risk with Secret Santa unfortunately. Think yourself lucky that you didn’t get a SS gift I received a few years ago, a charming book called “Things to do while you poo”. Hilarious for a ten year old boy I’m sure, but I was a 45 year old woman at the time. I’ve never forgotten it and, like you, know exactly who it was from 😂

Secret Santa is frought with problems and there is nearly always someone who is disappointed

Well yes you are correct because you know my friend of many years so much more than I do.

This has clearly touched a nerve with you because your reactions seem way over the top. I hope when you’ve calmed down you can accept this is all just a matter of personal taste with no malice was intended.

Funny how the person who got my shit put thanks Santa on group chat though. No doubt you'll say they were lying🤔

I've seen plenty of malice on here though which is clearly intended

Sorry you are feeling crap, but I find it quite weird that you would think those things add up to a tenner. I have just bought my brother in law socks (it was what he asked for) for £9.99 a pair, so I guess personalised ones would be at least that, more if they are the same quality sock! I have also painted mugs for a couple of people and that was £8 per mug. Obviously you can be disappointed in your gifts, but both the mug and the socks were likely around £10 each so no way together they were "no where near £20".

I already put that maybe I misjudged the cost and was going to walk away with my tail between my legs. But no, some just have to have a go and start a full blown character assassination.

And when some have said there's something more going on, maybe that's true, when you know full well that in a group of so called friends, you are at the bottom of the pile. So come at me with that as well.

They sound equivalent to what the others were getting to me. The personalised mug would definitely be over a tenner, where would you get that for less these days.

It just sounds like a matter of personal taste to me.