A secret Santa one (peed off)

[OneGreyBiscuit]

Went out with girls from work and done secret Santa. The spend was £20. I got a tiny box of celebrations, cheap socks with my initial on and mug with my name inserted into a quote. It basically looked like a raffle and nowhere near £20 worth, a tenner at best. I had to sit there and watch others opening some lovely things - an ornament from next, no7 stuff, fuzzy duck, perfume. And the thing is I know full well who it was from. Obviously that person doesn't think as much of me as I hoped. Aibu to feel a little miffed? Id appreciate no hateful comments as I feel crap enough.

I think when you enter in to secret Santa you know you are basically giving money away to join in and may get something you don’t even want or like, at least you didn’t get a joke gift and you can actually use the items, think you just have to let it go x

Aww I’d be delighted with those gifts. I can buy off the shelf things for myself but something personalised is only ever given by friends. How special

She hit the roof? How embarrassing. Did it really matter that much? 😳

I feel a little bit sorry for you OP with some of the posts. My Granny always taught me if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing. Works both ways though.
i actually think your gifts sound lovely. Thought went into the personalisation and it sounds like a genuine £20 was spent. Maybe some of the others went over the budget or wanted to make a statement with their gift.
I would honestly be pleased with what you have received. Lots of people won’t get anything at all this year. Have a lovely Christmas ❤️

Just dont do it! Its not mandatory! No one will care either. I dont do my work secret santa as I'm not a stuff or bits and bobs person. I once bought someone expensive chocolates and a beautiful decoration and received a random diary so I didnt do it again!

The best secret Santa story I ever saw, that I don't even care whether it was true or not because it still makes me laugh, was that of a workplace that no longer did secret Santa, after the boss got canesten duo two years in a row, because he was an irritating cunt 🤣

I stopped years ago doing secret santa at work, I would spent well over the budget to get a nice thoughtful gift for the other person and then I got a pack of socks 1 year with the sale sticker partially removed, a book which the original price wasn't even up to the price stated to spend and a cookie cutter another year! Then I found out that people were fixing and opening up the names who they didnt want would give to me and visa versa as I caught them doing it.

I think if you are doing secret santa it has to be agreed with everyone involved what the minimum cost is and if you dont want to participate you should not be made to feel guilty like colleagues tried to make me feel over the years!

It sounds as if she put effort into getting you something personalised. The chocs were probably just to make it up to the budget. Frankly, its probably better that you DON'T participate next year, if you think that other people would prefer to receive a crappy ornament from Next or a bottle of cheap perfume.

Omg you sounds absolutely horrible. If you respond like this to strangers about a meaningless secret Santa gift what are you like to your actual friends when they do something you don’t like?

‘Id appreciate no hateful comments as I feel crap enough.’ _ what ?! You feel ‘crap enough’ , why? Because you didn’t get something generic from next in your secret Santa?
but you also gave meaningless crap. Nothing you gave sounds thoughtful or special. It sounds as b&M as the gifts you’re complaining about.
When someone gives me bayliss and Harding I know for sure that they don’t really care about what I like but I wouldn’t taken umbrage or get upset or start ripping into loads of strangers who tell you that you’re acting completely ott about this.
you are giving bridezilla levels of crazy and honestly you sound so horrible and I would pick again if I got you as my secret Santa recipient .

Most nice people would take jt well. Op sounds a bit impossible!

Also lots of people dont know B&H is seen negatively. I didnt until mumsnet! My mum still buys it for me!

The OP doesn’t like a mirrror being held up to her

I think your gifts sound lovely and well thought out.

Easily £20 spend and presumably that’s the maximum spend, not the minimum?

Last year in a £15 secret santa I got the new hardback Alison Hammond novel, £7.99. I had it listed on Vinted within 10 minutes. Love Alison as a woman but as a novelist.. no interest. Sharing to help you realise you are not alone.

Your not suppose to go 'over budget', budgets are there to stop you spending more. its actually pretty shit and real out of the spirit.

The whole point of SS was to keep costs down and STOPS the one up man ship. I really don't get how people can be like, I broke the rules to go above and beyond and can't believe everyone else didn't too.

My old work place had a £5 limit and 3 girls notorious for doing that (and some how always rigged it to get each other) even though they got warned every year. Just made it shit for everyone else who had to sit and watch them open like 5x £10 each gifts presented in sacks so all well over the budget then everyone else opens their £5 gift card, socks or candle.

They where friends out of work, they could have just done their own bloody SS instead of hijacking the office one every year to make everyone sit and watch them gush over each other.

Totally agree with you for being unhappy .. They shouldn't of taken part if they were like that .. you never know you might get them next year and can show them what a decent Secret Santa looks like !

Read the thread.

Not only do they sound thoughtful (your name and initial), I also think you’re underestimating how much things cost these days. Those items could easily be £16-19. It perhaps looked less impressive because there were 3 of them instead of spending the whole budget on one item.
Also, I’d much rather have received your gift than the other ones. They are useful and I would use/eat them all, as opposed to an ornament that’s probably not to my taste and will clutter up my house, perfume that’s cheaper than I normally buy and is probably not to my taste, and fuzzy duck - fine, but ultimately a supermarket brand toiletry set and certainly not more thoughtful than the gifts you received!

Its also worth remembering that some people are just really bad at buying gifts… I personally tie myself in knots wondering whether something is too much, not enough, second-guessing whether they’ll like it if I go too off-piste, or whether they’ll be offended if it’s too generic… it’s not necessarily a reflection on you or your friendship with that person.

I wish we had the internet when I was young and self centred and a few strangers told me where I could improve.
I wonder if I’d have listened then?

I don’t particularly like it because I prefer more natural stuff but it still serves a purpose and the packaging is often pretty.

on the whole people give what they can afford or think we will like. I’m often disappointed especially when my family chooses things for me that are nothing like what I’d wear ever but that’s a whole other story and I’d never make a big thing of it.

secret Santa I’d expect something silly and jokey or something quite innocuous and safe, even if it was my best friend I’d expect something silly and in the spirit of secret Santa, it’s not like the op has been set up to expect an engagement ring and been offered a three-way with her boyfriend’s ex.

And I don’t have any problem regifting or donating to charity or raffles

This is why I'm not keen on SS. It's OK if everyone does a jokey one.

We do a £40 family one - ILs side. I try to put a lot of thought into it and will add a few pounds to get something I think is perfect. I have had a small mosaic picture which had the price on the back - £20. And a wooden decorative house sign, which was obviously from the hobbyist woodworker member of the family. I think his attitude was, well if mothership were to buy this from a professional it would probably cost her £40 (it wasn't even that well done and we didn't replace our existing sign). The fact is the wood probably cost a couple of pounds (I wouldn't be surprised if he had it laying around) and an hour of his time (doing something he enjoys anyway).

I have never heard of Fuzzy Duck but the Baylis and Harding plus candle and big box of chocolates sounds no different to the stuff you received. Waste of everyone’s £20.