A secret Santa one (peed off)

[OneGreyBiscuit]

Went out with girls from work and done secret Santa. The spend was £20. I got a tiny box of celebrations, cheap socks with my initial on and mug with my name inserted into a quote. It basically looked like a raffle and nowhere near £20 worth, a tenner at best. I had to sit there and watch others opening some lovely things - an ornament from next, no7 stuff, fuzzy duck, perfume. And the thing is I know full well who it was from. Obviously that person doesn't think as much of me as I hoped. Aibu to feel a little miffed? Id appreciate no hateful comments as I feel crap enough.

The price limit thing is really hard too.

We do a work one. I like my colleagues and got one of my work buddies but deliberately shopped to the price limit rather than indulging my “wanna get her” instinct as ai thought it would stick out as being over budget.

(Limit was £20 so I got one of the small LEGO botanicals plants and some chocolate, if left to me I’d have bought the bigger orchid. Colleague likes LEGO and it has gone down well).

Quite a few people have ignored the budget and I worry it makes me feel mean.

We did use elfster this year so you could give hints. I haven’t collected my gift so I’m not sure what I’ve got but last year I got something really apt.

I hate secret Santa's so much as some people don't give a toss about buying something nice you might enjoy.

I got someone a fun gift once, something they could make (the spend was only a fiver). I would have quite liked it. They made it clear how disappointed they were and it's something I've never forgotten. Not sure what they were expecting for 5 quid.

See I personally hate Bayliss and Harding. Its cheap crap. I would much prefer what you got. You shouldn't be adding up how much was spent anyway - its kind of bad etiquette

I hate secret Santa, I just don’t do them any more

I find secret santa tricky - trying to get something meaningful, but somehow also trivial but within budget. If you spend the total on one thing, it might look sparse, but if you get several small presents, they might look cheap. I have spent way too much time over thinking and then feeling embarrassed when others rock up with things that really did not fit with the brief or within budget.

I feel your pain...I had the same this year..a crap mini bottle of spirit I don't even drink. I had put a lot of thought into mine and made it really personal. For me it wasn't so much the cost but the lack of thought. In the end I just thought how awful to be such an unthoughtful person. I would have been so embarrassed to give a gift like that.

Unless you’ve got a very common name then the socks and mug would have to be personalised. So it’s a thoughtful gift. I would rather that than the other gifts people received.

Rude, ungrateful and grabby. I presume the 20 was a limit, not a target. Can't stand people who sit totting up how much was spent on their gifts. You don't deserve any more.

If you can't afford it you decline to join in with it - not spend a fiver and get a £20 gift in return.

How do you feel her pain when her gifts were thoughtful?

A customised mug alone probably cost the best part of a tenner! Plus socks and chocolates and that’s easily £20.

I am not sure why you are so offended, your gifts are just the same kind as the ones you received - and yours are personalised so an effort was made.

You can be disappointed because you don't like them, but peed off?

You are being very unreasonable.

Not no new at all, that's why I knew I was going to get flack. Calling someone an awful person and a childish, spoilt, snob is a bit much though. But it seems my gifts can be called a load of shit and would end up in the bin in a lot of comments but that's ok I guess? Should've known better really! Typical reaction, pile on the poster and attack their character as per. And if some of you think it's so thoughtful to walk into Poundland and pick out an initial on a pair of socks maybe some of you should get out more. I'm out.👋

I got something personalised that had some effort put into it and I had to sit there and watch others open generic rubbish but I’m annoyed.

there, I’ve corrected your post for you.

Anyway, I don’t get why people have this obsession of expecting Secret Santa to be good, it’s meant to be a bit of harmless fun.

You are underestimating the cost of personalised socks and mugs. Mug definitely a tenner. Socks probably similar. They had spent the £20.

The only thing you can do is be tactless and talk openly about how much you’d have preferred a different gift. How nice it is to get No7/perfume etc… But be prepared to upset your friend back.

and I bet those No7 gifts weren’t £20 - they’ll have got them reduced in a 3 for 2 deal or bundle.

I think this is just another example (of which there are many at this time of year) of how difficult gift buying can be. Been there. I think it's OK to be disappointed and ime the best approach is to go out and buy yourself something (small?) which you really want.

You got PERSONALIZED items that took thought, effort and planning.

You SS put in MORE effort than just popping in boots or next and grabbing a babylis & hardy item so obviously thinks more of you than you do of them.

What you got sounds better than the other stuff you listed, are you always jealous of others getting stuff because it comes across very 'grass is greener'.

I honestly think a lot of SS complainers would be mad no matter what they got. If they got something else it would be 'they just grabbed a 3 for 2 gift set from boots with no thought' or 'its just a single random Christmas bauble' or 'skincare stuff, whats she trying to say'. Seen all these 'furies' posted on 'bad gift' threads, if you remember the thread the other day someone called another person an 'arsehole' for even daring to suggest a Christmas decoration for their SS.

I wouldn’t have minded the chocolates, but I wouldn’t like the candle or smellies.

Perhaps you could bung it in your work raffle, OP?

Quite frankly, I'd rather what you got than the stuff you think is 'nice' and what you gifted.

£20 perfume? Probably going to give me a rash and make me smell like cats piss.

Ornament from next? No thanks. My tree is a particular style, chances are the ornament wouldn't work - also no thought put in at all.

No.7 brings me out in a rash and Boots are pretty outspoken in the fact men should be able to use women's bathrooms, so I'd rather not buy something from that company.

Baylis and Harding isn't exactly boast-worthy as a gift. And if it was a £20 limit I'm guessing you got a cheap box of chocolates that probably taste like dirt. A candle, included with the above all for £20 is going to be absolutely crap. None of your presents were personalised, and were minimal effort at best. If I'd got them, they'd go in the bin. So, I really wouldn't be on your high horse about what you were given.

But none of that is the point. Secret Santa is always shit. That's part of what makes it so great.

Sounds like a lovely thoughtful gift to me.
She sought out some socks with your initial on, got a personalised mug for you and some chocolates. Gives the cozy vibes - only thing is I think she should’ve added a hot chocolate spoon then would’ve been perfect but still nice without.
YABU.

Years ago I did secret Santa with some friends for the last time, I watched all my friends open nice things, and I got a snowglobe with a really bad blurry picture of me in it, and a McDonald’s name badge with my name on it, I met these girls working at McDonald’s but didn’t work there anymore and a few of them did. It was such a cop out.

.

Friends are echo chambers for sharing you same bias, thats WHY your friends... if you lead that 'its crap' shes not really going to disagree with you is she.

Why is it that you can say what a load of shit you brought and but you're not being nasty but I'm being really nasty because I wasn't overwhelmed with what I got? Absolute hypocrisy!!