A secret Santa one (peed off)

[OneGreyBiscuit]

Went out with girls from work and done secret Santa. The spend was £20. I got a tiny box of celebrations, cheap socks with my initial on and mug with my name inserted into a quote. It basically looked like a raffle and nowhere near £20 worth, a tenner at best. I had to sit there and watch others opening some lovely things - an ornament from next, no7 stuff, fuzzy duck, perfume. And the thing is I know full well who it was from. Obviously that person doesn't think as much of me as I hoped. Aibu to feel a little miffed? Id appreciate no hateful comments as I feel crap enough.

We do Secret Santa at work (not in UK). Budget is lower, €10 max. Its usually been pretty generic (wine/chocolate) which is always appreciated, but I had one last year that was incredibly personal and will always mean so much to me (a keyring with a photo of me and my late fiancé who died suddenly not long before) and a litre of Absolut. That was the exception, and whoever it was knew me very well. Generally speaking, SS just is what it is. It's really not that deep, and what you received sounds actually really nice. At least it was personal to you (even if not to your taste). For what it's worth, your gift sounds very generic......

I would like a mug, socks and chocolate actually. And personalised, even better.
Better than some random ornament from next. Which is just tat really.

One year for Secret Santa someone gave me a used candle. I no longer work there but I actually found it hilarious.

My secret Santa didn’t turn up, there were two people missing so I guess one of them didn’t bother getting me anything. No one said anything since either and I’m not chasing someone for a £10 gift!

Secret santa should only be entered into by those with a sense of humour and/or "couldn't give a shit" attitude.

You buy gifts, you get gifts. It's fun. And if you don't like your gift there's always someone asking for tombola donations.

Oh no, I bought a mug for a secret santa! I thought it was a really thoughtful gift but now I'm worried they think it was shit. I did really think about the words on the mug! And I really like the person I was buying for!

Maybe next year you could suggest one of the secret Santa websites. We did it at work this year so everyone would have got something they like/want/will use. It was really easy to navigate and you can make a wishlist of things up to the SS value that is agreed.

I personally love a pair of socks, and you can use the mug for work.

You sound really bitter, and have dismissed that the mug and socks have your initial on them. Next year opt out.

I kind of get it: the gifts you received, although perfectly nice secret santa gifts, were clearly not to your taste and knowing that it was a friend that had bought them, you'd expect something a little less generic. Your issue seems to be less with the actual secret santa and more about your standing within your friendship group.
It doesn't necessarily mean anything - some people are good at buying gifts, others aren't. Your friend may have been worried that by going for something more personal, she may have got the wrong thing and offended you. This was probably the safe option. I'm sure she didn't expect you to be more upset by this than if, for example, she had picked the wrong type of ornament or perfume.
Secret santa is just supposed to be a bit of fun and a way to take pressure off feeling like you have to buy for everyone/multiple people. Personally I always try and gift something thoughtful, but have had others who just give gift cards. Some people will go over budget, others will be well under. It really is just a lottery of who gets you as to how good the gift is!
Hopefully you have good family and friends who will make sure you have something nice to open on Christmas day!

How did she read the quote??

THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION

Is this a thread about the tat thread?

SS is awful. Just don’t join in.

Secret Santa for £20 will be hit or miss. Have you priced a personalised mug recently?? Base prices would be starting around £10-£15.
By the way, Fuzzy Duck is 3 for 2 in Boots so the actual price was probably accounted for, not the reduced price.
On reflection maybe your secret santa thinks more of you than you realise..

Whilst nothing wrong with your choices, I’d probably prefer what you were given. If I had to rank them. Which I wouldn’t because it’s Secret Santa which is a bit of a laugh.

She sounds like she spent £20 to me. At least.

Surely it would be really weird not to say thank you. It’s just normal social interaction?

For people asking about perfumes - yes, if you know what you are buying you can buy decent clones for £20. I was told off for calling them knock off because apparently they are ‘clones’ and are good. I work with a bunch of younger men who love ££££££ scents and these clones. They know which are good and there are YouTube channels telling you how close they get to the original etc and an in depth discussion of their notes. Assume it’s the same for women? For the right person can be an appreciated gift!

Secret Santa is usually shit. I’d just accept it’s not your taste and leave it. You could overthink it and believe she doesn’t think much of you, or you could just accept you have different (much better) taste!

Not sure how you can say the person doesn’t think much of you when she’s actually gone out and ordered a personalised gift. As others have said, that will incur postage costs too. The gift you purchased was pretty generic, and clearly is something you’d want. But i’m not sure how you can think it’s more thoughtful (Baylis and harding is literally the new lynx, everyone gets something Baylis and harding) than a personalised gift.

YABU to be miffed. YABU to think the gift you gave is more thoughtful. I remember 15yrs ago in a team I worked in there was a secret santa at the Christmas meal and the young girl in our team got some torches and she was literally crying she was so upset. Get a grip springs to mind.

One of my work colleagues received a pack of 4 AA batteries wrapped in a brown paper bag sealed with black electric tape. She hit the roof. Guy who gifted (we all saw him put it under the office tree) said he thought they would be useful for her IPOD, even though it was charged by USB. She hit the roof so your gift was quite nice really,

The person who got your gift has manners. I would always thank someone who bought me a gift, even if I thought it was a pile of shit. It is the thought that counts, it comes across that you are ungrateful and so is the one friend that you consulted. I’m not sure why you’ve posted on here when you keep responding that you know your friend best.

Some people are not very good shoppers, they may have ordered the mug online and ended up paying £15 for it to be delivered. I’m a bit of a bargain hunter and usually my gifts are worth about 150% of what I actually pay, making use of Black Friday, hot uk deals etc. but not everyone does that. I know because my parter is the complete opposite, if we set the same budget and he did the shopping for the kids they would have about half of what they get now. So maybe that is what has happened here. And it was thoughtful whereas I wouldn’t want a work colleague chowing an ornament for my home.

You had three items for £20 and you’re moaning online about it. You really had high hopes for a secret Santa gift? I would participate if my work place made the effort but I wouldn’t be too concerned with what I got..

also personalised mugs are usually quite good for secret santa with work colleagues because you leave that mug in work and no one can pinch it.

A mug, socks and chocolates sounds like it would cost£20 to me? Also a Next ornament doesn’t sound personalised or thoughtful, it’s just been plucked off a shelf. fuzzy duck is just toiletries which I always think are a lazy gift - that isn’t personal at all! Just smile and say thanks and move on. Secret santas are always a bit rubbish

I would love it if the worst thing I had to worry about was a disappointing secret Santa present. It sounds like op needs to spend some time reflecting on what is good in her life rather than worrying about inconsequentials.

Personalised mugs can easy be £15