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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just been told to remove my pronouns from my Teams profile

817 replies

Horrace · 18/12/2025 10:11

I'm weak 🤣
My manager just phoned me to say there has been some serious complaints made about me that he must urgently address.
I panicked.
In the Pronouns section of my Teams profile, I have

'Take a Wild Guess'

Its been there for a few years. Its finally been noticed and I've been told to take it down because it's made someone or more than one possibly, FEARFUL of me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Hesse · 18/12/2025 10:54

Angrybird76 · 18/12/2025 10:52

I work in 'the city' (which I assume is London) and have done for many years in a number of different organisations. i have never seen grown middle age men stomping about in black mini dresses expecting to be treated like a woman, either in the workplace or elsewhere. I did, years ago, work with one transgender who was very nice, reasonable and did not demand anything. They also used the disabled toilet so as not to 'offend' anyone. As a very senior manager i have dealt with my fair share of stomping men, but none of them wearing tights.

Show quote history

It's sort of a stealth stomp

DiaAssolellat · 18/12/2025 10:54

Xyzmum89 · 18/12/2025 10:13

You sound TERRIFYING 😂😂

Or perhaps TERFIYING

cakebreak · 18/12/2025 10:54

whittingtonmum · 18/12/2025 10:22

I think this can be interpreted as ridiculing those who share their preferred pronouns at work. I would not call this is professional behaviour or think it's acceptable in the workplace. If I were your manager I would have asked you to take this down before complaints come in. You don't have to share your preferred pronouns if you don't wish to do so but 'take a wild guess' is not appropriate in the workplace. No doubt transphopbic mumsnetters will disagree but wonder how many of them work professionally in environments where diversity and inclusion are regarded as part of a professional business environment.

I agree with this. Just leave it blank

JustMyView13 · 18/12/2025 10:54

It’s unprofessional.
Given that you’ve gone this long without it being noticed, you could’ve chosen a less antagonistic approach of leaving it blank.

Ddakji · 18/12/2025 10:54

Daygloboo · 18/12/2025 10:52

Not necessarily slowly or organically..What about all the new words in OED every year. They are not evolved particularly slowly or organically. And the other stuff you said. That's such a generalisation as to be meaningless. I mean, come on. ALL trans people are those things ? Surely not. That's silly..

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The only way to identify as the opposite sex is through sexist stereotypes. If you deny sex you deny same sex attraction. It’s all inherent in pretending you’re something you’re not.

Pronouns aren’t new words. They have existed for a long time and have clear sex-based meanings. The attack in and distortion of language is an essential weapon in the normalisation of this ideology.

bobblyhat8 · 18/12/2025 10:54

I don’t know what the whole pronouns point is. Is it to establish a he/she or that you prefer they? or is it men choosing to be her or woman to be him/cat/Lord?
Ive probably been a SAHP far too long but this is new to me. I was never Mrs bobblyhat, just known by my first name when I worked.

ThisCanHappen · 18/12/2025 10:55

justpassmethemouse · 18/12/2025 10:29

Have you guys not thought that maybe Alex, Sam and Charlie may not want to be called the wrong pronouns for their cisgender identity?

You do know the prefix "cis" is deemed highly offensive by many, me included, or do you only consider the sensitivities of certain select groups are worth bothering with?

cakebreak · 18/12/2025 10:56

Angrybird76 · 18/12/2025 10:52

I work in 'the city' (which I assume is London) and have done for many years in a number of different organisations. i have never seen grown middle age men stomping about in black mini dresses expecting to be treated like a woman, either in the workplace or elsewhere. I did, years ago, work with one transgender who was very nice, reasonable and did not demand anything. They also used the disabled toilet so as not to 'offend' anyone. As a very senior manager i have dealt with my fair share of stomping men, but none of them wearing tights.

Show quote history

I'm not sure people using the disabled toilet when they don't actually need to is the flex you think it is.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 18/12/2025 10:56

Well done OP. We're only stuck with this nonsense because people are bullied into using compelled speech. The fact that someone's alleging they feel "fearful " of you suggests someone without resilience and so focused on their own internal musings that they're likely not a good fit for the work place.

Hope there's no further push back. If there is, stay calm, don't get drawn in and take advice (Sex Matters or Free Speech Union have advice and resources for all this) before commenting.

SomeOtherUser · 18/12/2025 10:56

Unless you've been forced to add your pronouns without any option to refuse, adding sardonic ones can only be interpreted as you mocking those who want to use them. From your posts, it sounds like that is what you are doing. How about just not doing anything instead? Why so involved?

Nottodaty · 18/12/2025 10:57

Thankfully it’s a choice where I work. Lots of people do and I don’t. I already work in a heavily male environment. I already have had to deal with toxic male behaviour over the years. It does feel I work in an environment finally that respects me regardless of whether I’m a she.

But I wouldn’t ridicule people choices- we do have a lovely new starter and I’m guessing they are a they - they haven’t stated so just refer to them by name safer that way - they doing a cracking job and that’s all that actually matters.

Daygloboo · 18/12/2025 10:57

Ddakji · 18/12/2025 10:54

The only way to identify as the opposite sex is through sexist stereotypes. If you deny sex you deny same sex attraction. It’s all inherent in pretending you’re something you’re not.

Pronouns aren’t new words. They have existed for a long time and have clear sex-based meanings. The attack in and distortion of language is an essential weapon in the normalisation of this ideology.

Show quote history

You also said child abusers. That's a terrible thing to say, and simply untrue.

JellySaurus · 18/12/2025 10:58

SoScarletItWas · 18/12/2025 10:37

I’ve been picked up on this twice which is fair. I hesitated over it as I was typing at speed. I’m trying to consider than someone who has gone through surgery and is legally now ‘recorded’ as female on documentation etc would be (clumsy word) genuinely trans.

I agree that their fundamental biology hasn’t changed and cannot change. I didn’t mean ‘genuinely trans’ indicated that it had.

My personal view is that calling trans women ‘trans women’ is fine and we shouldn’t have to call them ‘women’ but there are so many pitfalls in this discussion that I will paint myself into a corner that doesn’t represent my actual thoughts.

I still feel that OP’s choice of words was antagonistic.

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Don’t give a damn. I will not call any man any form of woman.

Svalberg · 18/12/2025 10:58

justpassmethemouse · 18/12/2025 10:29

Have you guys not thought that maybe Alex, Sam and Charlie may not want to be called the wrong pronouns for their cisgender identity?

Have you ever thought that Felicity Smith might want to be known just as F Smith because she has been taken less seriously when people know that she's a woman and now she is quite happy to be assumed to be a man?

beezlebubnicky · 18/12/2025 10:58

There's a dedicated board for this, why is it in AIBU?

Angrybird76 · 18/12/2025 10:59

cakebreak · 18/12/2025 10:56

I'm not sure people using the disabled toilet when they don't actually need to is the flex you think it is.

Show quote history

well this was 15 years ago and there were fourteen allocated accessible toilets for a staffing group of 25, none of which had physical disabilities (i work in HR) so I think it was OK. I don't think using the term flex is the flex you think it is.

LaLoba · 18/12/2025 10:59

LittlePotteryBird · 18/12/2025 10:16

I’m hiding this thread because you’re so scary. I’m shaking and crying, thanks.

I miss the laugh emoji 😂

Comtesse · 18/12/2025 11:00

whittingtonmum · 18/12/2025 10:22

I think this can be interpreted as ridiculing those who share their preferred pronouns at work. I would not call this is professional behaviour or think it's acceptable in the workplace. If I were your manager I would have asked you to take this down before complaints come in. You don't have to share your preferred pronouns if you don't wish to do so but 'take a wild guess' is not appropriate in the workplace. No doubt transphopbic mumsnetters will disagree but wonder how many of them work professionally in environments where diversity and inclusion are regarded as part of a professional business environment.

If it was that important someone would have noticed before now.

Taupeness · 18/12/2025 11:00

bigboykitty · 18/12/2025 10:50

Ridiculing others. Do you think that's a bit of a reach? Are we not having transphobic bigot as well?

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It's LITERAL GENOCIDE 😭

Sad times.

EstherGreenwood63 · 18/12/2025 11:00

@EasternStandard No such thing as 'cisgender' babe. hth.

RightSheSaid · 18/12/2025 11:01

Change it to she who is feared.

RightSheSaid · 18/12/2025 11:01

Or she who means no offence

5128gap · 18/12/2025 11:02

beezlebubnicky · 18/12/2025 10:58

There's a dedicated board for this, why is it in AIBU?

Because more people will see it here and it opens the discussion to a wider audience. Which is a good thing, surely?

ripleynot · 18/12/2025 11:03

This is so deeply unprofessional it made me cringe. And to laugh when you were being given a warning… yikes.

Honestly surprised that with the job market as it is people are so willing to make themselves so unpopular at work.

blackpooolrock · 18/12/2025 11:03

people who need pronouns should be ridiculed.

Laughing is the correct response!