I'm the type of person who loves it when family or friends drop by for a visit because they're nearby. Whether a quick text an hour beforehand or simply turning up at the door. The same when going out and wanting to suggest to come back to ours for a nightcap/stay over on the settee.
DH hates anything not planned, it's got to be an arranged time and prepared for, no impromptu turn of events or flexibility.
DC situation of sleepovers at family is so much easier now, we share nieces and nephews staying over, which they love ❤️. My friends who live a distance away usually get their own accommodation or stay with family nearby but when I've invited them to stay he finds it stressful.
No ND or MH reasons (I'm the one with those issues), just his personality. He feels the need to be able to offer top notch food, a perfect house, whereas I'm happy to go with the flow, will do my utmost to clean and prepare etc but then it will get messy and that's fine. Guests are happy to just feel comfortable, as for me as a guest.
Aibr... to hope and expect him to let up a bit and be thankful people want to see us and make the effort to do so, sometimes at short notice?
Aibu...no one should be at our threshold without a formal invitation and prior arrangements?
Of course, it would be inconvenient if it happened all the time, I'm talking about now and again.