Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

I'm imagining pinky finger sticking out, taking a loud slurp just to make sure everyone can hear them take a sip, whilst raising an eyebrow at the "shit faced" shenanigans 😁

Some people DO do it pointedly. I have non drinking friends and relatives. Some manage to still be fun people who look like they want to be there. Some act like the event isn’t worth having a drink and they stand in a corner drinking their water like it’s some kind of statement. It’s hard to explain but you know the difference when you see it.

It’s not a hang up about drinking for me at all - I am often the driver myself!

I don’t drink, I have nothing against drinking. If we host a party I get shots ready for everyone, cocktails etc. I just hate the taste of alcohol, also I have a huge phobia of being myself being sick.

I would say YABU a bit, as long as they aren’t sitting there judging you for drinking tutting etc not sure what the big deal is

Your assumption that only sober people remember everything that happens is interesting. I've been different levels of drunk on many different occasions thoughout my life but I don't have memory gaps, ever. If something embarrassing or weird happens you can be damn sure I remember.😁

You and your husband should just 'get shiftfaced' by yourself then. Embarassing for a grown adult.

Bullshit. I get as rat arsed as anybody else when I feel like it. Sometimes I don't.
But I never judge or police what other people are or are not drinking , because its not my business unless they are shitting on my lawn or something.

Wish you'd say at the start that he'd be disapproving.

Very very odd.

YABVU very sad that you think alcohol is a requirement for having fun. Also what on earth are you going to get up to that you’re worried about a sober person seeing?!
Also you have to drink an awful lot to not remember what happened the night before, I think I’ve only done that a couple of times in my life when I was a student, would never do it now.
Do you regularly drink to excess? Do you and your DH have a drink problem?

You also have no idea why he’s not drinking, maybe realised he’s an alcoholic, maybe health issues, on medication that can’t mix with alcohol.

The only thing YANBU for is the alcohol free
beer - he should be bringing his own

Same

You do realise that when people drip-feed like this, it's usually because they're tailoring their story to the replies? You have invited a guest. He has informed you he won't be drinking If you can't afford a few alcoholic beers, ask him if he can bring them himself. Don't invite people over and treat them like an inconvenience because they refuse to get bladdered. It's odd and controlling.

I would just get a large bottle of alcohol free beer and a bottle of pepsi. I wouldn't go out of my way to pay for his alcohol free beers. It's up to him to bring something he prefers or to drink the same alcohol as everyone else.

You obviously do have a problem if you are intending to get shit faced. Normal people intend to have a couple of drinks and end up occasionally getting carried away and having to many. However if there is only 3 of you and 2 of those intend getting shitfaced then the whole thing isn't going to work. I would tell him your intention whilst he has time to change his mind

If the man invited himself, you can definitely say it's not convenient because that's CF behaviour and should be actively discouraged. If your husband can't do this, that's on him.

I was quoting another poster not my words.

You must be embarrassing yourselves if he reacts like that then.

So is it a family do with people playing games and letting their hair down, or is it just you and your husband 🤔🤷‍♀️

What relation is this interloper you seem to have a deeper issue with and how did he end up invited to your family/not really party?

Yep.

Would you feel that way if they were pregnant?

As someone who is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in my sobriety journey I find this VERY INSULTING! what is the problem? It doesn’t change him as a person, well maybe it does and he won’t act an absolute idiot, or vomit on the carpet! What if someone was t drinking due to medical reasons, religion or pregnancy, would you alienate them too?

So clearly your unable to control your mouth when your pissed, your coming across as one of those undesirables piss heads that always want a arugement or insult others and then blame the drink. Wonder if you’ll end up fighting too for the full bingo.

My first thought would be that the guest is driving home afterwards and should therefore be supported for his decision not to drink

No. OP, you are being spectacularly unreasonable. I do drink alcohol, but I have no problem with people who don't, and they are just as capable of joining in (probably more so). Make sure you have lots of soft drinks, tea & coffee.

I think it’s relevant who the one person is. Is it someone who doesn’t have anywhere else to go? Is it an adult DSS? If this person was invited out of a sense of obligation, then drunk or not you obviously just don’t want him there. Clearly there’s a reason you can’t uninvite him so just get shitfaced with your DH another night.

What exactly is the drunken behaviour that you don't want being 'watched'? Is it that outrageous?

And your story changed a bit from a whole load of 'family' drunkenly whooping it up, to just being you and your husband and this poor bloke:

"We all intend to have a good amount of drink and play silly party games ..."
Followed by:
"It's only me and DH and him".

Either way, you are being very, very unreasonable to expect someone not to drink for your own selfish reasons.