Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

I'm thinking... the DH's unmarried brother?

You disgust me. Presumably some of these friends will be driving home? Make sure they all have 'one for the road' then, so YOU don't feel bad. Jesus.

Alcohol is a socially acceptable drug, but it is a drug. And choosing not to drink, especially at this time of year, is a difficult and brave choice. He will not be sitting in judgement on you or the other guests, just quietly enjoying his drink of choice. Would you judge vegetarians or coeliacs so cruelly?

Can’t believe this post. I can’t drink due to a certain medication I’m on and would hate to feel someone wouldn’t want me in their home because I can’t get pissed!!

Do your guests all live walking distance away, OP? If not, I’d have thought there’d always be someone not drinking, or having only one small glass of wine or half a pint of beer, because they’ll be driving.

Unfortunately it's people like you that make me frightened to tell others that I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I'm not quite classified as an alcoholic but personally that depends on what criteria you use. I wont drink a drop during the day, can't stand the smell. But my (stbx)h always wanted me to drink in the evenings. Then he went off with a Thai lady and my use of alcohol in the evenings has exploded. I get dry for a few months then an event will crop up. Mostly I offer to drive. But it's people like you that are preventing me giving up entirely. I could cope with a day of drinking and go back to being sober, but Xmas is hard as there is an expectation of food and alcohol. I'm a really bubbly person, and a happy drunk, but I don't need to the alcohol to be a happy bubbly person. I think your attitude stinks! Just because you know they've drunk before doesn't mean they're not trying to make changes and if you were any kind of friend/decent relation you would be not only supporting but going out of your way to show love for their decision.

He’s a 25 year old lad, he disapproves of everything but when he wants to join in his disapproving side vanishes but otherwise he’ll just sit and act like we’re making him uncomfortable in our own home.

What has to do with you anyone's alcohool intake? Why exactly are you miffed about? Yo think you need alcohool in order to have fun? Do you think this person will.spoli your fun for being sober? You have a very screwed view around alcohool, one person can avoid alcohool for any reason or no reson at all, nothing to do with you. Do that person a favour and uninvite them, you aound like a walking drinking red flag.

This has to be a wind up?

Who sits there spectating what others are drinking, and why would only sober people do this anyway?

I haven't been able to drink for most of this year due to a health condition. I still have a good time. If you get so drunk at Christmas you worry about someone sober seeing you, that's a problem.

Because every single sober person is a boring dull idiot.

What the hell have I just read?! You are a vile person.

I cant see how it would be an issue, surely in most instances there might be people who aren't drinking - for various reasons (general health, medications that dont allow drinking, driving, commitments the next day etc etc)

I find this thread (and society's attitude to alcohol) both fascinating and infuriating.

Honestly this is why I avoid work nights out. I will have one or two but not a big drinker. I can still have a laugh and I don't care how much anyone else drinks (or doesn't drink).

But will they leave me alone to my few drinks? No. Constant badgering to drink more or questions why I'm not. And like OP has shown, this weird suspicion over someone not drinking. Absolutely bizarre behaviour which says more about me than them.

How is he related to your DH?

If your dh doesn't want him, cut the invite. Tell him he's not welcome.

Nobody will be driving anywhere it’s only him that’s coming and he lives a 2 minute walk.

I think with OPs updates (he'd sit there like a missog and stare disapprovingly) I'd be pissed off. I never used to drink but could join in and have a laugh with others when I was teetotal, and now I have a baby to look after getting drunk is not an option, but I wouldn't be arsey with others who were getting rat arsed.

Just tell them you'd rather they didn't come. You don't want them sitting there being a buzzkill and judging you.

Convenient. 😂

Your update is a completely different kettle of fish OP, it's not the fact he's not drinking you are irritated by (as loads of other have mentioned, people can have fun and join in when sober), but seemingly the fact he will be a sourfaced and judgemental prick?!

So yes i'd be irritated by that too, whether I was sober or drunk and whether he was sober or drunk. I'd be annoyed by someone inviting themselves to my home and ruining the fun.

^ this.

You want to get “shitfaced” and don’t want him to come because he’ll “remember everything”?

My DH is teetotal, I rarely drink, no adults I know get so blind drunk that having one of us there changes the dynamic. What don’t you want him to remember? You must be an embarrassing drunk if you can already predict things happening you know you’ll want forgotten.

My partner stopped drinking just over 12 months ago and I'd hate him to feel uncomfortable for not drinking in a group.

Sorry was meant to say says more about them than me ha!

Pregnant, antibiotics or antidelresants, religion, past trauma around drinking like people from alocoholic families or people who had loved ones dying from drinking, recovering alcoholics, don't like the taste, don't enjoy the feeling of being drunk, or no reason at all. Can be anything or nothing, no one should have to explain their choices around not drinking alcohol. The OP is the problem!

The facf you can only be relaxed around some onw who is drunk is worrying.