Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

So is the problem that he isn’t drinking, or that he’ll be antisocial just doom scrolling rather than play Charades or Articulate or watch funny films?

I would say you have an alcohol problem if this bothers you.

The no alcohol guiness is lovely and more and more of my friends and family don't drink alcohol anymore.

My daughter has been t total for 3 years since her 29th birthday when she realised she felt awful after alcohol. Should I stop inviting her?. I can drink quite heavily though have cut it down.

We should be supporting the non drinking culture it's a dangerous drug and causes a lot of problems. I don't want to give up alcohol but I support those who want to not drink

Then tell him not to come. He will probably be pleased not having to watch you and your husband drink yourselves into a hole. How pathetic.

I've always had a strange relationship with alcohol. When I was younger I could drink but sometimes I just couldn't face it. I still went out and had a wonderful time. It was never even commented on.

I rarely drink now. I would be upset if my friends or family didn't include me or thought badly of me for not drinking.

Is he just a really boring person in general?

Just taking the spotlight off YOUR drinking for a split second and wondering if HE is only fun to be around when he has had a drink?

No, because that 1 person will be me. I did used to drink but just got bored of it and also always hated feeling awful the next day.

I am 600 days sober. I still know how to have fun. You sound like a right controlling oddball. Are you one of those that has a strange relationship with alcohol? Do you need to drink to have fun? Or relieve stress? Do you deny the volume you drink? Do you drink “most nights”?

That's the vibe.

Utterly unreasonable.

Get shit faced then. No-one's stopping you. It's seriously bizarre and controlling to want everyone else to join in with you though.
Says a lot that you think someone is "disapproving" just because they're not drinking and getting shit faced with you though.

Then uninvite him.

Honestly, with a judgmental black-and-white attitude like this I'm surprised you've made enough friends to actually hold a party.

We all like a drink. My dh packed up the booze 23 years ago. We live and let live

Just so I'm clear, you don't want somebody who is just going to sit there and remember everything? What is it about Christmas day that means you want to drink to forget it? What is wrong with being able to remember the day? You're thinking is a little odd tbh, unless there is a huge backstory as to why you drink to forget the day.

How sad that getting drunk is more important to you than seeing a friend.

At Christmas, too. The time of goodwill and being with family and friends.

Your priorities are so far off I can hardly believe this is a real question!

It wouldn’t even cross my mind for this to bother me. I can’t think of any reasons why it’s a problem to be honest.

Following the updates, I do see the issue. I don’t think OP put her original case forward terribly well.

If there are only three people in attendance, and you were looking forward to having a merry and slightly silly time, then yes it has potentially completely changed the dynamic of the event. It’s very different to a larger group where some people are drinking and some aren’t! I’d probably be disappointed in this scenario too, though it does also depend on the personalities involved.

Its not a party though, its her, her dh and this family member. Obviously people know to avoid them like the plague.

Are you sure? I can't taste any difference with most of them

This is very odd. If you are behaving in a way you are already embarrassed about then maybe... don't?

If you don't like this person for other reasons then just don't invite him?

I go back and forth on drinking as I just don't love how I feel after. I have plenty of friends who drink and plenty who don't. I include whoever I like in whatever I want to and don't consider that a way to make a list.

No one should feel pressured to indulge in alcohol if they choose not to. He’s bringing his own 0% beer…….leave the bloke alone ffs.

You are being absolutely ridiculous actually - whether or not someone else is drunk is not your business! If you’re that worried you will embarrass yourself in front of the sober person, then don’t get completely inebriated 🙄

Tell him not to come. He'll probably be relieved.

My god. I’m teetotal because I had a drink problem and could not stop at one. How dare you punish someone for deciding to defend their health rather than slip down a slope to serious illness.

I hope this is rage bait as no one would be that unreasonable.