Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

Not to the point of being incapable of looking after their kids they don’t!

Even his dad would rather get drunk than have his son around for Christmas, according to her posts. It's sad

Absolutely 100% this.

Errm.... that's exactly my point 😳

Why do you need a 'good amount' of alcohol, if you only want to get 'ever so slightly tipsy'?

Or being blackout drunk and not remembering anything which is what OP inferred.

They are not unreasonable to not drink but they are unreasonable to request non-alcoholic beer. They should bring their own if they want something that no one else will be drinking. You shouldn’t have to pay for it.

I’ve bought some alcohol free beer for myself at Christmas, my bad 😁

You didn't make it sound like he was the only other guest in your first paragraph.
"Only one" person not drinking when there are only 3 people there doesn't make much sense!
How were you planning on playing "silly party games" when you thought it was just going to be you and DH?

Anyway as everyone else said

Not being drunk doesn't equal not getting involved/having fun. What would you do if a family member was pregnant - make them sit at home alone?

Drinking doesn't automatically mean not remembering everything either - I always remember everything everyone did/said no matter how much I've drunk (wish I didn't tbh!)

your issue is that this particular person isn't much fun unless they've had a drinkwhich is a completely different scenario.

Massive drip feed here. But basically:

It's fine for you to get slightly tipsy (not drunk) in front of your children, providing your behaviour remains appropriate. If there's an emergency you can do whatever non-drivers do in emergencies.

It's fine for your stepson not to drink.

It's fine for you to address his eye rolling and rude behaviour if you want to. Or ignore it. He's an adult so just treat him like you would a rude friend.

I keep getting stuck on this... "invited himself," "suddenly said he is coming..."

Why wasn't he invited in the first place?

You'd think his dad might want to shout him a couple of cans with it being Christmas and all.

But yeah, if his dad doesn't want to I suppose he should bring his own.

I think your original post @wakinginthenight was totally misleading, it did look like a group of guests and one is not drinking etc etc and turned its actually about a difficult relationship with your stepson. it’s very different.
I think you can’t invite him now, it’s very rude. And I think you and DH should probably adjust a bit your behaviour and silly games and on the other side you should learn to ignore a bit your stepson’s comments.
Think about something he might join in, maybe not with you but with children?
Or where he could go and relax watching TV?
By the way I would struggle with my own parents in this situation so I wouldn’t judge him so much, it’s a typical reaction from some 25y.o to parents drinking and silly games. Yours own children might be like that at 25.

Because the OP doesn't like him?

I rarely drink and it doesn’t bother anyone. I’ve had nights out lately and been the only sober one. I imagine they will be more fed up in your company than you in theirs. I don’t judge and I’m happy if someone is drunk and merry. Their choice. I would too on occasion. Just not every occasion. So YABVU. You invite people for their company. Not their state of inebriation.

I mean of course, but I'd be interested to hear OP's reasoning!

I’m getting increasingly confused by this thread. OP - you started off saying that ‘we all intend to have a good amount of drink’ and imply from your first post that you don’t intend to be sober. But now it turn out that it’s just the two of you and your stepson, and you’ve got primary aged children but intend on getting pissed? Maybe your stepson feels that he needs to be there to keep an eye out for his step siblings.

Oh she'll probably have a whole host of bullshit excuses reasons. But it will boil down to what so many of these step-parent threads are about. Marrying a man who already has children and then resenting them and excluding them from their own "little family".

And I say that as a step-parent.

Nope.

But not wanting to invite someone because you 'can't relax' and eat a tub of chocolate because they might judge you and remember you did it suggests an eating disorder.

People who engage in typical Xmas excess aren't worried about other people not doing it but seeing them do it.

But they don't both get shit faced

Some changing of goalposts and back pedalling by OP. It’s like the later posts bear no resemblance to the OP.

To be honest, the whole drinking / not drinking / getting pissed thing is neither here nor there and is a massive red herring. It's Christmas, plenty of people / parents will be drinking (including those who don't normally drink).

The major issue here is the clear dislike and resentment of her husband's son.

Because we wanted to have a few drinks without his disapproval.
He usually goes to his mums so we already planned what we’d do.

Let's hope your own kids don't grow up disapproving of you drinking.

poor kid having to invite himself and on Christmas day!

The OP is making me so cross....

Fair point. And the drip feed.