Newborn circumcision

[Mumtobe2025x3]

Hi all,
my son is five weeks old. My husband is Muslim and I’m COE. When we were pregnant we had discussed having my son circumcised when he was a couple of weeks old due to my husband’s religious beliefs, which I agreed to.

Of course marrying a Muslim man I knew of what came with it when it came to having children etc. we have discussed our sons upbringing and he will be taught both cultures, religions and celebration Christmas and Eid etc. my husband is quite westernised so he’s not exactly a strict Muslim.

I suffered quite bad baby blues and when it came to discussing the circumcision at around 10 days old I lost it and said that I couldn’t deal with it right now and my husband said not to worry now and we will revisit at a later date.

I thought i was ok with my son being circumcised but now he’s here I’m actually not. It’s been brought up again today and it’s not helping that my husbands pushy family keep asking about when it’s happening. I’m really not ready for this. We’re already having issues with his family calling my son by a different name because they don’t like the name we’ve chosen as it’s not an Arabic name!

I’ve told my husband I’m not ready yet and he accepts this, I can tell it bothers him.

Am I being unreasonable about this? Obviously I know what I married into, but as his mother and he’s here, it now doesn’t feel right to put him through a procedure that’s totally unnecessary as he’s not a medical issue.

I find it bizarre how we are obsessed with keeping children safe from abuse. But quite a lot of people agree with literally cutting off parts of their children's genitals.

We have a name for this practice don't we . . .

It’s totally ridiculous and unfair.
Tell him to tell his family it’s been done and also to stop disrespecting you and the name you’ve chosen.

Also, I thought it was illegal to deliberately inflict injury on another person. Especially if that person can't consent to or understand what is being done to them.

It's all very strange. How are there still surgeons who agree to carry out this practice?

this post nails it, married a Muslim his family never pressured us, and also no one renamed my child. Stand up to them harder that’s dodgy

Circumcision is horrific. And totally unecessary in modern times, even if you hold to an ancient reason of hygiene.

Circumcision is not compulsory in Islam. It’s recommended but not a must.

DH and I decided not to circumcise our boys because I couldn’t bear the thought of putting them through the procedure. Every now and then our families will mention it but they know where we stand and have never challenged us when we say no.

And this nonsense about an Arabic name - they are being silly.

Easier said than done but just ignore them.

I hate circumcision, I think it’s barbaric.

however, you both have an equal say as his parents.

if it went to court they would side with you on the side of non-intervention.

I mean you can literally google and find multiple cases of babies dying following circumcision but you do you!

Your husband married a Christian woman, and therefore he probably should have considered that you would be prone to backing out of the agreement to mutilate your baby.

You are absolutely in the right. Stick to your guns.

i don’t think you read the verse. What you’ve said isn’t connected to what I said.

Your baby doesn't need this procedure for medical purposes, therefore it's unnecessary. Putting a baby through such a procedure simply due to religious beliefs, isn't a good enough reason.

Tell them your son’s penis is none of their concern.

I'm not any religion, and I would respectfully ask the same question. What on earth is there to be pro about?

I think this - explain how it is
not necessary and you dont want it

YANBU. It’s an abhorrent practice that should die out.

yanbu of course, OP.
I have a serious question for those on the thread saying they are “pro circumscision” or any Muslim posters who could also shed any light. I am not baiting, I am genuinely interested. If it is not specified as a religious requirement then what is the actual thinking behind it?

It’s mutilation. Let’s just be utterly honest and call it what it is! Child abuse in my eyes and definitely mutilation in most people’s. The law says anyone who does this to a girl baby is charged. The law WILL catch up at some point but until then the mothers have to advocate for their babies.

watch some videos on this horrible abuse practise happening and then you will see what they actually do to a baby and how much pain they leave them in and it’s not done in hospital or anything it’s an unhygienic unsanitary thing to do in your home!!

I think problematically you are asking on a forum where everyone is going to agree with you in a very aggressive manner of how wrong it is and stand your ground and he is horrible for considering it.

I am not religious but respect those who are. For him this is a serious and deeply important thing to have done. It needs to be discussed with sensitivity as it will cause resentment on one side and may lead to deeper problems in the marriage. I'd advise to proceed with caution on gow you manage this situation. I am not saying I agree with your husband. I am just saying for him, his culture, religious belief and the way he was raised will warp his view on the matter and it just needs to be discussed delicately and respectfully.

Good Luck OP.

Also don’t leave your baby alone AT ALL with your husband or in-laws because they WILL override your wishes and get the circumcision done without you there

It’s unnecessary and cruel. Stand your ground for your son.

Stand up for your defenceless child

@Symposium123 yes I did - its about being unequally yoked. Apologies for not referencing it but tbf - in the event I got married again Id be unequally yoked if I married a CofE person as I couldnt agree to my child being Christened - despite obviously agreeing in so many other ways owing to being a Christian.

@Pumpkinspicelater no obviously not of the same magnitude - I did mention that. Whilst its of no meaning to you I know loads of people who would far prefer they were not Christened as little children.

We thought DS was going to be circumsised for health reasons, I was beside myself at the very thought of it. Our consultant was brilliant, and showed me a procedure to use to try to prevent the need. As an HCP he was against it unless absolutely necessary.

There’s absolutely no way I could care for a tiny baby’s wounded penis. Caring for the cord stump to prevent infection was difficult enough. It must be so sore for them :(

Why does his religion trump yours?
I have no idea why anyone would mutilate a baby.