Page 10 | Newborn circumcision

Mumtobe2025x3 · 2025-12-11T16:55:32+00:00

Hi all, my son is five weeks old. My husband is Muslim and I’m COE. When we were pregnant we had discussed having my son circumcised when he was a couple of weeks old due to my husband’s religious beliefs, which I agreed to. Of course marrying a Muslim man I knew of what came with it when it came to having children etc. we have discussed our sons upbringing and he will be taught both cultures, religions and celebration Christmas and Eid etc. my husband is quite westernised so he’s not exactly a strict Muslim. I suffered quite bad baby blues and when it came to discussing the circumcision at around 10 days old I lost it and said that I couldn’t deal with it right now and my husband said not to worry now and we will revisit at a later date. I thought i was ok with my son being circumcised but now he’s here I’m actually not. It’s been brought up again today and it’s not helping that my husbands pushy family keep asking about when it’s happening. I’m really not ready for this. We’re already having issues with his family calling my son by a different name because they don’t like the name we’ve chosen as it’s not an Arabic name! I’ve told my husband I’m not ready yet and he accepts this, I can tell it bothers him. Am I being unreasonable about this? Obviously I know what I married into, but as his mother and he’s here, it now doesn’t feel right to put him through a procedure that’s totally unnecessary as he’s not a medical issue.

Caerulea · 12/12/2025 19:07

That's no mean feat to stand your ground in this situation, OP, bloody impressive!

Just keep a close eye cos your DH's idea about compromise seem a bit different to everyone else.

Good luck

HouseFullOfChaos · 12/12/2025 19:20

It's absolute madness to do that to a child, it's unbelievable that it's still legal.

Do not let his mother look after your child and don't let him either. I don't know how you could stay married to someone who has admitted to wanting to cause injury to your baby.

therearesigns · 13/12/2025 04:35

Good on you OP. Why is it you that has to compromise on this? Why not him? At least, if you leave it, your son has an option.

My DH is circumcised and my sons are not. Why put a tiny baby through such a thing, with the risk of serious complications, if it's not necessary? I would only have circumcised for sound medical reasons, never choice.

My sons are now young adults and have said they are glad that I left the choice up to them. They feel it should be their body, their choice.

VoodooQualities · 14/12/2025 12:37

There's no compromise here because either you circumcise your baby or you don't. One of you will have to acquiesce to the other.

And since it's your son's foreskin not yours (and it's certainly not his grandparents') then the only correct way forward is to not go ahead based only on your husband and his family's opinions. If it's traditional for Muslims to do it, let your son make his own decision to do it or not, when/if he makes the decision to be a Muslim.

AgentPidge · 14/12/2025 12:50

There are several people on this thread saying that it's preferred rather than required for Muslims. I would look into this if I were you - find the religious backing (find a respected book or teacher who says this) so that you can show your DH and he can show his family that it's not required.

chunkyBoo · 14/12/2025 13:24

No is a full sentence! I wouldn’t either, screw religion, that poor little baby having a foreskin removed b
because of a book is crazy - fuck the parents too and tell them you’ll take them to court if they start saying they’ll do it anyway

gamerchick · 14/12/2025 13:27

VoodooQualities · 14/12/2025 12:37

There's no compromise here because either you circumcise your baby or you don't. One of you will have to acquiesce to the other.

And since it's your son's foreskin not yours (and it's certainly not his grandparents') then the only correct way forward is to not go ahead based only on your husband and his family's opinions. If it's traditional for Muslims to do it, let your son make his own decision to do it or not, when/if he makes the decision to be a Muslim.

That's the compromise. That the bairn decides for himself.

Coffeeandbooks88 · 14/12/2025 16:55

There is no compromise. The husband will get it done without her permission. I hope I am wrong but doubt it.

Liveafr · 15/12/2025 09:10

Hi @Mumtobe2025x3 I hope I'm not too late with this thread. I absolutely agree that it is a barbaric procedure and well done for standing up to your husband. But if you want to effectively resolve this issue, you need to understand that it's not just about religion or culture. I assume your husband is circumcised himself; so if he were to acknowledge that ritual cirumcision is a form of child abuse, he would need to accept that he himself has been abused/failed by his parents, and it's something very painful and hard to come to terms with. Denial or brushing it off (my parents did X Y Z to me and I turned out very well) is much easier and comfortable. And it's one thing that allows child abuse (including circumcision and FGM, while I appreciate the latter is way more barbaric) to continue. In the long term if you want to solve this issue I recommend reading on intergenerational continuity of child abuse and possibly couple conselling.

sanityisamyth · 15/12/2025 09:21

Why does he need to have a piece of anatomy removed? Hold your ground.

WinterWooliesBaa · 15/12/2025 10:05

Liveafr · 15/12/2025 09:10

Hi @Mumtobe2025x3 I hope I'm not too late with this thread. I absolutely agree that it is a barbaric procedure and well done for standing up to your husband. But if you want to effectively resolve this issue, you need to understand that it's not just about religion or culture. I assume your husband is circumcised himself; so if he were to acknowledge that ritual cirumcision is a form of child abuse, he would need to accept that he himself has been abused/failed by his parents, and it's something very painful and hard to come to terms with. Denial or brushing it off (my parents did X Y Z to me and I turned out very well) is much easier and comfortable. And it's one thing that allows child abuse (including circumcision and FGM, while I appreciate the latter is way more barbaric) to continue. In the long term if you want to solve this issue I recommend reading on intergenerational continuity of child abuse and possibly couple conselling.

Edited

Or perhaphs all that can be avoided by him simply acknowledging his parents did what was culturally expected & they thought was right st the time. But with better education about it he can choose differently.

not everything has to involve so much navel gazing & therapy/counselling.

Liveafr · 15/12/2025 10:24

WinterWooliesBaa · 15/12/2025 10:05

Or perhaphs all that can be avoided by him simply acknowledging his parents did what was culturally expected & they thought was right st the time. But with better education about it he can choose differently.

not everything has to involve so much navel gazing & therapy/counselling.

Show quote history

Or perhaphs all that can be avoided by him simply acknowledging his parents did what was culturally expected & they thought was right st the time. But with better education about it he can choose differently.
Which is the case for nearly all case of child abuse. It's still a process to go through.

not everything has to involve so much navel gazing & therapy/counselling.
Great, then I suppose the issue will be solved in no time, right?

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 15/12/2025 16:20

WinterWooliesBaa · 15/12/2025 10:05

Or perhaphs all that can be avoided by him simply acknowledging his parents did what was culturally expected & they thought was right st the time. But with better education about it he can choose differently.

not everything has to involve so much navel gazing & therapy/counselling.

Show quote history

Acknowledging that you were mutilated, for any reason, is never going to be a simple process. Especially when the ignorant are still carrying out the mutilation routinely today.

Boomer55 · 15/12/2025 16:23

If you marry someone in certain cultures, this is their belief. Didn’t you discuss it?

KittyFinlay · 15/12/2025 16:57

No, you shouldn't be agreeing to strap your child down whilst someone cuts part of his body off, regardless of your husband's culture.

WinterWooliesBaa · 15/12/2025 18:17

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 15/12/2025 16:20

Acknowledging that you were mutilated, for any reason, is never going to be a simple process. Especially when the ignorant are still carrying out the mutilation routinely today.

Show quote history

HE wants to do it to his Son!!!

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 15/12/2025 18:21

WinterWooliesBaa · 15/12/2025 18:17

HE wants to do it to his Son!!!

Show quote history

...try re-reading the conversation.

WinterWooliesBaa · 15/12/2025 18:22

Liveafr · 15/12/2025 10:24

Or perhaphs all that can be avoided by him simply acknowledging his parents did what was culturally expected & they thought was right st the time. But with better education about it he can choose differently.
Which is the case for nearly all case of child abuse. It's still a process to go through.

not everything has to involve so much navel gazing & therapy/counselling.
Great, then I suppose the issue will be solved in no time, right?

Show quote history

Your scrambling different issues together.

this twat still wants to have his son mutilated for no reason. He just needs to be told it's not happening.

the barbaric multinational needs to stop.

you don't need counselling to understand cultural things change. He doesn't need to see it as abuse to recognise it's no longer acceptable.