To think a late invite isn’t a proper invite and to decline on that basis?

[whinch]

Aibu?

No YADNBU

Trust your instincts

Depends is this person a bit scatty usually? If so I would accept if I wanted to go. Otherwise yeah, would feel like an after thought so would decline.

Not much info to go on!

Needs a bit more context really.

But if I feel like my invitation is an after thought then I'd generally decline.

Fine to decline. Have people pulled out and they've cast around for replacements?

Sounds like you are making up the numbers after someone else has dropped out (?) If this is the case, I agree YANBU. I’m not being an afterthought guest.

No. People have budgets and capacity issues so sometimes they want to invite someone but need to invite someone else that they don’t want to first. Sometimes invites aren’t posted until late, someone misplaces them or forgets about them.

If you want to go, you like the person and are free - go. If you don’t like them, don’t want to go or aren’t free - don’t. It doesn’t matter about how late an invitation is.

If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go, don't go. Works for me every time

This. Do you want to go? Do you like this person?

Don’t look to be offended where there’s no need to be.

Last time I was invited to a 50th I think I was definitely on a B list as it was only a couple of weeks before the event. But I wouldn't (and didn't!) decline on that basis. I'm not bothered if the birthday girl has other closer friends. Go if you want to and you think you'll enjoy it, don't if you don't.

I would go if I wanted to see those people and do that thing. I wouldn't really care if it was late. An invite is still an invite.

It wouldn't bother me. 😄
I'd.go if I wanted to.

20 hours notice for a breakfast at a restaurant in town that would have required booking a while back.

I wouldn't apply a blanket rule tbh. Unless you are wealthy enough to have no budget, or have a very small familial and social circle, there are going to be times when you can't afford to invite everyone in the first round.

Unless I thought I was being invited to make up numbers, rather than because I was wanted, I wouldn't decline just because it was close to the event.

You're clearly upset that you got a late invite. Decline it and forget about it.

I don’t over think it. I’m grateful for any - I either accept or decline but I never think badly of someone for inviting me late … or even if I’m second best!

I am yes?

Why are you so upset?

Would you prefer not to be invited at all?

If it’s short notice then just don’t go? It’s an invitation, not a summons, to coin a MN classic.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s not worth it.

depends if you want to go or not?

Being miffed because you are not the centre of the world is a bit weird.

What's the question?

I think if it upsets you that you are a late addition then there is no earthly reason to feel you need to go.

But a breakfast sounds as though it is a reasonably small number invited? If you felt like joining, I wouldn't decline simply out of pique.

But no, there is no reason you have to accept at short notice, so maybe don't if you are upset.

Life too short to be offended by stuff like this. Actually it’s good as you can decline without guilt if you don’t fancy it and go along and have fun if you do.

You do you.

It is a proper invitation, but of course you can decline it. It may be verging on the childish to do so, depending on the circumstances, but there is no law against that.

Are people offended by absolutely everything? of course YANBU not be available at short notice. It doesn't mean the people invited first were not invited by obligation and no one actually wanted to see them 😂

It's like the guest list on a wedding, you must invite MIL and she's obviously first when you count people, but no one wants her there 😂😂