To think a late invite isn’t a proper invite and to decline on that basis?

[whinch]

Aibu?

Seems stupid to miss out because of assumptions.

Sure. I’d accept or decline purely on whether or not I wanted to go.

We have been last minute invites for weddings or bar/bat mitzvahs a couple of times and I'm fine with it. In both cases I wouldn't necessarily expect to be on the a-list of the people concerned, but I'm happy to invited if they have the room. I remember times that the disappointment of someone not making it has been made up for by thinking 'But at least now I can invite such-and-such' when I've felt a bit sad I couldn't fit someone in.

There's loads of flu and bad colds around at the moment as well, so I'm sure lots of people are needing to look for last minute people because someone else can't come out, it's not like it's surprising in the current circumstances to be asked short notice.

What an annoying thread. No context, no answer.

On the day - if you need to arrange childcare etc not unreasonable
on the day and you have nothing else to do - not unreasonable
3 weeks in advance because that’s how you plan your life - unreasonable to expect others to do your personal schedule

1 week before - not unreasonable - people are busy

depends on a host of things. You can say no. But be mindful you won’t get invited again if you can’t cope with others shorter notice needs over your 6months ahead needs.

Although I'm fine with this, and with evening invites in general, one thing I am prissy about is Save the Date cards when I'm not invited to the whole do.

Save the Date implies I need the whole day free. Not that you'll fit me in when later when the meal is over!

(We had a Save the Date this year that was for a weekday, but then it transpired through drip-feeds from MIL that our son wasn't invited, that we couldn't stay at the inconvenient location, that they wanted us there for the party the night before too, that they wanted my parents to come babysit - all without a direct invite or messages, because they're not actually close friends. STD is fine if I'm actually important enough to you to save it!)

This

We had a small wedding, After some elderly relatives declined we were able to invite more people. I can't remember the ins and outs, but we invited one couple about 2 days before .. they were delighted (and so were we) no upset. Life is short.. If you like the person and want to go, then go don't overthink it.

Exactly

I wouldn't go.
I don't like stuff like that.

Stuff like what?

Invitations to go out with friends ?

Then don’t go and they can invite someone on the 3rd list , who wants to go