To think a late invite isn’t a proper invite and to decline on that basis?

[whinch]

Aibu?

Depends on how much you'll enjoy the thing.
Personally I don't labour under the dilusion that I should always be front and centre in the lives of everyone I know. Just as not everyone I know is front and centre of mine.
I understand and accept that I will fall somewhere in the hierarchy of people others would like to have at various things.
If I'm not top tier for a person I will be included only if numbers allow. Sometimes numbers allow late in the day, and I move up the list last minute.
If I want to go then I will. I certainly wouldn't cut my nose of to spite my face because for that person I was originally part of the chorus and not a main character.

Sounds like someone dropped out.
You're right to decline.
I don't do late invites either unless the whole thing is last minute.

I wouldn’t go, unless I love the people. It’s a bit of a smack in the chops to be a last minute stand in.

I once went on a holiday because someone dropped out. I had a great time. I find life's better when you say yes.

Depends if you want to go! You might have a great time!

Smacks of having to make up the numbers. I wouldn't go.

As others have said, it depends on how important it is for you to go.

Sounds like you don’t want to go, and are looking for an excuse - if that’s the case then you are entitled to say, sorry I would have loved to attend but I have a prior engagement etc.

Do you mean that you feel the invite was sent out of obligation than a desire for you to actually attend? If that’s the case and you wouldn’t feel comfortable going, then you shouldn’t go.

If however you do want to go, then I wouldn’t use the timing of the invite to stop you going.

This is exactly what I was going to say!

It's a group breakfast? That would have been booked earlier? And it's not the organiser, but another member of the group, who has late invited you?

Yeah, I wouldn't want to be a pity invitee either.

I believe so, based on previous experience and pattern recognition only!

Yes definitely seems you are sloppy seconds 😅😅

That's - not what sloppy seconds are.
More like a pity fuck, if you want to use that kind of terminology.

I ain’t no one’s pity fuck!

It's fine if you aren't available, but I don't see a need to be offended that you weren't invited first. Any guest list will necessarily exclude someone and that's fine. If I decide to have a dinner party and only have space for eight that doesn't mean I don't like people nine and ten on my list. No one is top of everyone's list and it's nice to socialise with different groups at different times.

Life's too short to be always standing on one's pride.

You weren't the first choice. So what? We won't be everyone's first choice and if we declined everyone who didn't see us as first choice we probably wouldn't have much of a social circle.
If you want to go then go, if you don't then don't. Spitting your dummy out and declining just because you weren't invited straight away is petty.

It’s really not like this!

I would go, but I cba to waste my time on being petty, we all have different budgets and different priorities and I am fully aware I am not the main character in my friends and acquaintances lives.

Ok, so there’s a group breakfast and the organiser didn’t invite you and you know they wouldn’t be happy to see you. Clearly you don’t get on. Your friend has realised you’re not invited but invited you anyway because they want you to be there. But you genuinely can’t go anyway.

So you’re not an afterthought. The person organising it doesn’t like you and you aren’t surprised by this. It was deliberate choice on their part to not invite you. Your friend still wanted you there because they like you and want to spend time with you, despite knowing it’ll piss off the organiser. I don’t really see the problem. Especially as you also have plans.

When you put it like that! 🥰

I’m very much over it now, and your comment helped thanks x

Just go along and drink all their champagne :)

It’s not always afterthought tbh. We had to majorly cut our guest list due to cost but when the obligatory family invites were sometimes declined we could then add in friends we would have liked to come if not for money.

I suppose its ok to feel a bit miffed. But if it suited me to go then I would go but if it didnt suit me I wouldnt bother.

As the old Mumsnet adage goes, it's an invitation and not a summons.

It's fine to be asked last minute. Accept or decline based on whether you fancy attending, not based on when you were invited.

Some of the best times I've had involved a last minute, spur of the moment inclusion.

Depends who, if it was from me it would be because both of us thought the other had invited or I just plain forgot, I can be quite scatty