Is our postman a cheeky fucker?

[Sam9769]

I have just lost 3 stone in weight and decided to buy a new second hand wardrobe through Ebay. I will admit that I have been purchasing a lot of clothes etc.
Our postman keeps commenting to my husband about the parcels arriving on a daily basis. On one occasion he said to my husband "She must have bought the whole shop by now! The other day he said "There were no parcels for a few days, so I thought that things were under control!"
This is not even a postman we have known for many years, he's only been our postman for about 18 months.

I feel annoyed that he thinks that he has any right to comment on my parcels.
He's job is to deliver the mail and keep his opinions to himself.
Is he a cheeky fucker or AIBU?

Brilliant 😂 Ah Caroline you are missed 😒

Posties hate parcels, especially at this time of year. He's trying to make light, neutral conversation in order to stop himself from snarling, "I wish you'd stop buying so fucking much stuff."

I wouldn’t like it, not because I don’t have a sense of humour (I defintely do) but I hate attention on me so would hate to think anything that was being delivered was being scrutinised (I’ve sometimes had jumbo sized packs of loo rolls delivered and have always been silently grateful no comments have been passed (I just buy them to save running out for ages). 🫣

Op just fire back with 'well it keeps you in work doesn't it' job done, he wont ever speak about you again 🤣

Might be unpopular but I don't actually consider this humour or making conversations. He has no buisness commenting on your parcels, surely there are other ways to make conversations that don't mention anyone's buying habits?

Our previous postman did this all the time. "You must have bought the entire stock of xyz" and pretending to faint if there weren't any parcels for a while. He did get annoyed if we'd ordered glass Coca Cola bottles, and would say "can't you go to the shops for these?" as they're heavy (well no, because shops don't sell packs of 24 glass Coke bottles, no).

I didn't really care either way. But then a few neighbours (not us!) complained about him. They said he was becoming belligerent and always wanting to argue about the extra amount of work which online ordering had created.

We had a new postie not long after that, and he's been fine. Been 3 years now. Never saw the first guy again.

Did you even read the first post? Did you understand it? Because that’s not what he said or what the OP had an issue with.

There’s no point in anyone trying to explain the concept of misogyny to you (or internalised misogyny if you’re female) if you’re starting with incorrect information.

My parents postman always jokes with my mum , he said to her the other day whilst I was there “here she is , the only person on the street with any money “
coz of the amount they order online as my Dad is disabled and doesn’t leave the house so he’s bored .

The postman does laugh and it doesn’t seem to be said with any malice coz they like him .

I am going against the grain here, but in all honesty, the constant commenting would really piss me off (and it does when people keep commenting/repeating themselves,) and I get particularly annoyed if someone in the service industry comments on what I'm buying/consuming.

I get annoyed with checkout operators who comment on what I'm buying, and chip in with their opinions and views. Yes I know they're only being friendly, and the majority of the time it's fine and I enjoy chatting with them, but now and again, they annoy me a bit when they comment on my shopping/what I'm buying. And someone constantly commenting on how many packages I am receiving would irk me.

No-one needs to 'relax' or 'unclench' people are entitled to feel how they feel, and don't need patronising remarks which align with 'cheer up luv' and 'smile!'

@Sam9769 YANBU.

YANBU at all, I don't see how is this funny or even polite. Do as @Howwilliknow122 suggested and remind him your mail is keeping him his job 😂

Banter with OP is fine. Banter to her partner about how her post and by implication how much she's spending/ordering is not. Postie has no idea what nastiness he might be unintentionally stirring up between them.

Well done on the weight loss, but I can assure you the postman is not scrutinising your parcels!!

Just watched it! How funny! Love it 😆

I had a creepy Evri driver during the lockdowns and he would always comment on my deliveries and whether they were "essential items" or not. He oozed the "sleazy old man" vibe and he was just awful to be around. Once my husband was in when I was due a delivery and I asked if he could answer the door because the guy was a creep. DH opened the door with an almost menacing "alright?" and was very short with him, and it was so satisfying to watch the guy shrink and suddenly become very polite. He never bothered me since. It's sad really how it required a man to send the message, but it worked.

My posties have always been lovely though, luckily. One is very chatty and does look at what I send if he's collecting items, but he's just making friendly conversation and doesn't make any weird comments. I may need to get him some chocolates for Christmas. 😁

I agree....

If the first 2 or 3 comments had been 'YANBU OP,' I wouldn't like it either, most of the posts following, would have been in favour of the OP. Always happens on here. 🙄

Re the OP's issue... It's fine if it's the odd comment here and there, but when someone has something to say EVERY SINGLE TIME, it gets annoying. And anyone saying they're bothered by this is lying IMO.

I used to go to a little bakery/cake shop in the small town 2 miles from where my house was (some 13-14 years ago,) and I always had a certain type of cake - 2-3 times a week - eg, a pineapple cream. This one woman in there always ALWAYS commented on it .. 'oh here she comes for her pineapple cream, you'll be turning into a pineapple cream you will, here comes the pineapple cream lady!!!' Really REALLY loud, and in front of 10-12 customers, and 5 or 6 staff, and anyone I was with. As soon as I walked through the door! I was like

IDGAF if it's 'banter' stop commenting LOUDLY in front of everyone about what I am eating/what cake I'm buying you fucking weirdo! Very attention seeking behaviour from people it is. Claiming 'banter' and 'it's only a joke' for everything anyone says, no matter how rude, intrusive, cheeky, or offensive it may be is such bullshit. It's only funny if the other person is laughing.

I stopped going to the bakery by the way, and my DH and DC did by default. So they lost the custom of 4 people. I didn't complain, because I know I would probably have been slagged off (and probably) laughed at, because it was just BANTER ..........!

Oh no, what a wicked OP, actually making a postal delivery worker do his actual job of delivering parcels! 😱

.

Thank you!!!
The same with ‘banter’ at work. It’s a good joke if you say it once and it lands, good on you. You’ve lost me if you repeat yourself for the 10000th time, sorry.

How some people manage to get through the day without self combusting is beyond me. If OP doesn't like her postie joking with her DH she could always try answering the door herself.

Some people won't be happy until everyone is silent all day everyday.

Our postman makes similar pass agg comments and it is infuriating. I want him to just stfu and do his job.

I think that’s called “small talk”. Community spirit. Etc.

Yes, I think that's the thing. Most people don't mind the odd bit of people making daft remarks! A joke here and there, even if it's cheeky/below the belt. But the constant banging on and on and repeating the same shit over and over again is just annoying, and irritating, and eventually becomes tiresome, and annoying.

But it’s just banter, you should learn to have a laugh and I’m SURE you’re fun at parties…

😜

sometimes you just want people to stfu

I think it's called 'annoying.' 'tedious.' boring.' 'tiresome.' Etc.

Perhaps we should all go about our lives in silence, in case anyone we try to have a conversation with it is “annoyed” by us.

Fuck that.

You're getting wound up over some banter between men. This reminds me of the Family Guy skit: "Men; we know how to be friends." If it was a woman talking to the postie about their husband's purchases, there wouldn't be a thread about it.

FWIW my husband did the same thing, he lost some weight (65lbs over a year), and ended up having to buy some new clothes and sell his old clothes off. No postman or courier ever commented.