To not apologise to sibling

[Bearingsbear20]

It's another inheritance one!

My sibling and I had a verbal agreement that I would take DF's whole estate when he died (as I'm the only one named in his will, sibling isn't as they don't get on, they keep saying he was abusive when they were a child etc. which is stupid as he's pleasant now) and my sibling would take DM's.

DM died earlier this year somewhat unexpectedly and didn't leave any legal will. We then found a draft will naming sibling as taking the bulk of the estate and leaving me a small remainder. This tallies with what DM told me i would be left, as she phoned me up before she died and told me she was trying to 'make it fair' between us.

Initially I told sibling to sort out all the administrative stuff for DM's estate as I was about to have my first DC and was too busy to take it on. Sibling initially was communicative, let me know what was happening. Involved me in the funeral etc.

After a few weeks I told sibling I wanted 50% of mum's estate as per the law since there was no valid will and that i would buy sibling out of their share of the house. Sibling then mostly stopped talking to me, I couldn't find out what was happening with the estate etc. and we argued several times. Sibling was insisting I was doing the wrong thing for pushing for my 50% and they kept mentioning DF's will, which is unreasonable IMO and I find it sad they are talking about this before he's even passed. Sibling wanted to put DM's house up for auction and said they'd be in touch when the estate admin was sorted and would follow the intestacy rules. Then they started selling off assets e.g. the car without consulting me.

I went and got a solicitor to send a letter to my sibling as I wasn't getting any detail about the estate and they were refusing to have me buy out 50% of their share of the house. The solicitor sent a few letters and eventually now sibling has agreed I can buy out their share.

They're now not talking to me though and have refused to see me over Christmas etc. until I 'acknowledge what I've done'. I don't see that I've done anything wrong, I've just pushed for my legal inheritance, and sibling cut contact first. So AIBU?

Whispers: we're not allowed to say 🤫

Rarely are there posts on mumsnet where the poster is clearly such a blaggard.

So 97% of posters think you’re wrong but you still insist that you’re right OP.
Give your head a wobble and do what you know is the right thing and what your mother wanted, do you really have no moral compass whatsoever.
You are unbelievably devious and basically a thief.

"I was advised to take the legal route..."

You write this as if the decision was out of your hands, as if you are a passenger in this, and would have been somehow defying an authority to honour the verbal agreement with your sibling.

If you want to go back on your promise and grab the money, then do that - but at least own what you're doing.

Nobody is making you do this. The decision is yours.

Does it rhyme with role?

Well they do say money can bring out the worst in some people. I don’t think I’d be speaking to you either if you’re this greedy.

🤔 mmmm, possibly

So you'll give her half of your father's estate?

Your poor sister. Abused by her drunk of a dad then bullied by her sister. She should go no contact with the lot of you.
She's your sister! Have some compassion you utterly selfish, greedy woman. Read the room, your family might nod along with you but everyone here sees you for how you are. I don't even mean that maliciously, just... Open your eyes and be more considerate to her.

Anyone else hoping the ‘sibling’ sees this thread and feels like they’re be heard here more than in real life?

Wonder what DMum would be thinking about her possessions and money being treated like legal pawns.

No you don't "have to follow the law". That is a lie you are telling yourself. You are legally entitled to 50%. You are not obliged to take 50%

My father died with a (very old) will splitting his assets equally. But my siblings and I divided them differently based on agreement according to need. I know he would have been very happy with that. I can't imagine going behind my late mother's wishes AND destroying my relationship with my sibling for money.

I read/hear about this sort of thing happening when money is involved in inheritance- never seen it blatantly bragged about before though.
It may be better though to be totally legal and above board now, rather than the chance of you hunting down your claim later.
As above, if you want a relationship with your sibling then you can do this and still keep it all legal and above board with a deed of variation to ensure your mum’s wishes were carried out. My mum left some wishes, that the solicitor said I wasn’t obligated to carry out but it was deemed a moral obligation with trust between the parties - saved complicating the will as occasionally wishes (usually gifts of things) can’t be carried out and that can cause issues. I’ve gone to some lengths on one of the wishes but I did actually feel it incumbent on me. You are different and don’t at the minute,
but I’d consider how you may feel down the line.
I do wonder if sibling would be able to challenge the dad’s will down the line - perhaps they’ll ask for advice on mumsnet.

And, after you’ve ’followed the law’, you can give your sister what was agreed. Stop using the law as a reason for your greed and dishonesty.

Hang on.... I'm getting something...... it's a message ...... 😖 .... for OP 😵‍💫🫨 "I hope you're doing your homework up there and not wasting time online again!"

I think you should take half as until your df dies you cannot guarantee you'll get all of his money, he could change his mind.
However, when your df dies you should give your dsis half of his estate.

That would be the fairest option imo.

Did....did a girl and her little dog drop a house on the OP's sister or something?

You're the one pushing for your sibling to follow intestacy rules to the letter. His/her legal duty is to distribute the estate to any beneficiaries according to those rules. Since you've mentioned some of the sums involved this clearly cannot be done without selling the house, so he/she has to sell it. He/she has no other choice.

You, on the other hand, just don't seem to understand any of it!

@Isittimeformynapyet you sound like someone who hasn’t lost a respected parent. I have, and you tend to consider what their opinions would have been even after their death.
Or maybe you don’t have reason to respect your parents.
Whichever, good luck to you.

You're legally right, but morally questionable.

😬

Awful.

Greedy cow

I doubt the OPs sister would trust her, how about the DS keeps the whole of DMs as agreed, then if DF dies penniless gives the OP half of it?

I doubt OP would agree with that!

No, you don’t have to follow the law. You could/ should honour your late DM’s wishes and do what was agreed in principle. This nasty behaviour is just sickeningly unfair, I can’t imagine how your sister feels. Your mum failed to finalise her will but it’s likely that she trusted you to carry out her wishes and didn’t prioritise this. And the fact that you plan to renovate and make more profit on the house is a further gut punch to your sister. I have no idea why you thought opinions would be in your favour here?!? Greedy delusional piece of work 😡

So you've totally gone back on what you agreed with your sibling, are shafting them out of the inheritance that your mum wanted them to have but can't understand why they are upset? Really?