to tell this nosey mother to shove off?

[theBOD]

long sorry but need an opinion.
i was meant to be playing football with mates and my lectures finished about an hour early. now seeing as i lived about an hours drive from where we were playing it made no sense for me to go home so i decided i'd just drive to the park where we play and do some work(play solitare) on my laptop for the hour and listen to the radio.
so i parked on the road beside the pitches, which also happens to be opposite a playground. after about half an hour some woman came over to me and knocked on my window asking me "what do you think you're doing" and telling me to move as it was "not right" and i was making the parents "nervous".
apparently i should not be parked and on a laptop near children as a man on his own as this obviously in her mind made me some sort of sex predator.
so i told her that what i was doing was none of her business and told her to get away from my car. she then threatened to call the police (she didn't) and get her husband out (which she did).
anyway was i unreasonable to use some very choice words to her and her husband when they came over to me the second time claiming they didn't want trouble and just thought it was best if i left?

You should have understood how she felt and been nice about it.

Perhaps you could have just been nice and explained that you hadn't even considered how it may look, but there was nothing to worry about and you were a little offended that they thought you were doing something sinister. Whether we like it or not we do live in an age where people panic about lone men 'watching' (or not) children.
I was at a local playground and two very scruffy (media steroetype peadophile looking) men on incapicity car thingys sat staring into the playground, barely speaking to eachother. I felt really sad that my response was suspicion and not that they may have enjoyed watching children play and could be lonely. But even as I type I still think it's not right... not reasoning for this.

I remember that thread, wannabe. I was amazed that she had any support at all.
Seeing as most abuse takes place within the home, I don't understand why people would relax on hearing'papa'.
It is all so disproportionate

why? why should men understand that people view them all with suspicion? why? 99.9% of men are not paedophiles, so why should they all pay the price for the .1% that are?

no not not

because it happens a lot wannabe, it's not just all made up

my husband's been accosted in this way, he understands what prompts it

the woman probably had to screw up her courage to do it

she's only thinking of her children

imagine swearing at a woman like that and getting all hoity toity

i think you're bit of a numpty op for a. doing it and b. posting in aibu

I'm afraid I would have been tempted to say "well I've parked here because one of the houses here has an unsecured wireless network that I can log on to to surf the internet."

TMMJ I remember that thread about your DH - is it possible the old woman was derranged rather than a man thing? Still - no excuse for finding security guards!

He wasn't harming her children in any way.
Asking him to leave was very rude.
I don't think being paranoid about every man on his own is helping her children in any way at all

what's wrong with trying to be nice? what's all this "i've got my rights blah blah"

it's just looking for a fight

Aubergine

He is a 'numpty' for sitting in his car, outside the pace he was meant to be going?

Don't be ridiculous.

And if anyone said something like this to any of my male relatives or friends, I would not be particularly 'understanding'.

janitor we are on the opposite side of every fence this morning

I agree with you wannabe. Why do we keep perpetuation the myth that men are paedophiles and should "expect" suspicion. It's paraniod and does noone any good, least of all the children. I don't want my children growing up suspicious of every adult they walk past with no good reason.

YANBU- unfortunately this just highlights the UK's Daily Mail paranoia about paedophiles on every corner....

*perpetuating

"because it happens a lot wannabe, it's not just all made up." really? where? Where are these car-loads of paedophiles lurking outside children's playgrounds taking pictures of the children? where? Where are the hoards of paedophiles lurking around all corners waiting to pounce?

It happens, but actually no, it does not happen "a lot" 99% of child abuce happens through someone known to the child, although of course the daily mail and the news of the world would have you believe otherwise.

no he's a numpty for putting his head up his arse about it

well I disagree with you all

cheery bye till the next time

wannabe - If anyone posted a thread like that I'd tell them to stop being so paranoid and anti-social. Just because people think that it doesn't make them right, or give them any right to pick on random men minding their own business.

I am stumped as to what the laptop/child juxtaposition was supposed to mean. Yes there is such a thing as internet child porn, and yes some men get their jollies by looking at it and and young children playing. But.. .......no I'm stumped.... there seems to be a glaring nonsequitur.

"I personally think swearing at people makes you appear inarticulate"

and i agree with you largely.and at the beginning i tried to refrain from it. but after she went and got her husband thinking this would scare me into contrition and the insinuation that i may well be a paedophile i wasn't too pushed about being inarticulate anymore. so i mentioned things like public place,paid roadtax, them being paranoid and unfortunately ended it with a few 4 letter words.
obviously the thing to do would have been to smile and just wind them up even more.

Aubergine - if someone told your husband, or your dad, or brother or son or friend to move away from an area they were meant to be in because they felt uncomfortable, would you expect them just to go?

well there's always one. .

My dd is a peripateitc teacher so regurlaly sits outside school playgrounds in his car either eating his lunch or killing time working (playing computer games)

rofl if anyone questioned him.

As a woman I don't thinnk twice about sitting in my car outside the park by dd's school if it isn't worth me going home.

In fact I used to be on a park friends committee and it saddens me to think that some of the regular park users who just lilke to sit for an hour or so enjoying the sun feel that they can't do that any more.

Aubergine - this man was doing nothing wrong!!! He has every right to feel the way he does about this.