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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about baby activity table

145 replies

Whiteoleander2 · 08/12/2025 16:42

Recieved message yesterday whilst out from OH of an audioclip of our almost 10 month old crying and a message saying your shallowness followed by I'm sick of your retarded choices...grow up...fu*king mature...it's enough...you're my enemy...I'd asked what happened but he wouldn't say just kept messaging messages like above... When he did answer he said baby had wobbled and hit temple on activity table then he said your dumb fuck activity table has no benefit to him, just your shallow self to make you feel good...our baby has been poorly so has been abit unstable on his feet and falling over more often, I knew that as he'd had a wobble during the morning when I was looking after him so was having to stand holding him. OH claims he was right next to him holding him but then continued to say it was a dumb investment along with the new dining table I purchased... for reference it's just a metal frame with wooden top and 2 benches... We've removed the benches as baby kept using them to pull up on and OH was worried about injury and also came back to find my Christmas table arch removed as he also said that's a stupid investment also. I didn't put a tree up this year obviously because of 10 month old, but have put a table arch with garland and some other Christmassy bits around up high of the floor. I continued to get aggressive messages calling it shallow, stupid fuckery that doesn't prioritise baby and that he's had enough of my absolute fucking immature mindset and fuck me and my ideas. When I came home he told me I didn't deserve to have children. Surely an activity table and a dining table are pretty standard things and not wild ideas? I think he's being precious and absolutely crazy, but interested to hear others POV as maybe I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 08/12/2025 16:45

The fact that in amongst all of that you only question having an activity table and dining table being normal is really concerning.

All 10 months olds are wobbly on their feet and will be for a long time. Just do your child a favour and turn your OH into your ex and out of your lives.

MidnightPatrol · 08/12/2025 16:46

Why are you still with this man?

Rickrolypoly · 08/12/2025 16:46

Sorry is your question to do with whether an activity table and a dinning table are standard things? Is that what we are focusing on here yeah?

ItsDarkNow · 08/12/2025 16:48

God almighty. He sounds horrendous.

Iloveeverycat · 08/12/2025 16:49

Does he always talk to you like that. That's abusive.

WhamBamThankU · 08/12/2025 16:50

He sounds abusive, I’d be leaving him

ItsDarkNow · 08/12/2025 16:50

I’ve just read a previous thread of the op’s.
You have to leave this man.
Contact Woman’s Aid for advice.

banananas1999 · 08/12/2025 16:52

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SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 08/12/2025 16:53

Activity cubes/ tables = totally normal
Babies getting injured = totally normal
Your husbands response = TOTALLY ABNORMAL

your husband sounds deranged and like he has serious anger management issues.

given his anger issues, I wouldnt trust him alone with my child.

glassof · 08/12/2025 16:53

This absolutely screams abuse and I'm an concerned for your child. If he loses his temper when alone with that child, I would be worried for their safety. You need to seek help ASAP to leave. I say this as a childrens safeguarding professional

RabbitsEatPancakes · 08/12/2025 16:54

I have a cruising/ crawling 10 month old and have a tree up. And a dining table and an activity table, theyre pretty normal. The rest i really don't understand.

Namenamchange · 08/12/2025 16:55

Pick up your baby, walk out the door and don’t return. Your baby will thank you one day.

VikaOlson · 08/12/2025 17:03

I'm sick of your retarded choices...grow up...fuking mature...it's enough...you're my enemy...I*

You're crazy to stay in this relationship. Take your baby and go and stay at your mum's!

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 08/12/2025 17:07

It’s not the activity table/dining table that’s the issue here, it’s the way he speaks to you. I wouldn’t put up with that.

sleepylittlebunnies · 08/12/2025 17:08

He sounds abusive and unstable. He is blaming you for the minor accident your 10 month has had because he can’t accept that he was the one there and it happened on his watch. Then the tirade of crazy and angry insults, he is not a safe person to leave a baby with.

As you aren’t focusing on his behaviour, does that mean it is how he usually behaves? It is not normal for people to react like that, but it comes across that you are used to it.

Ophy83 · 08/12/2025 17:09

Agree with others - furniture, toys, decorations are all completely normal for families with babies and toddlers (as are Christmas trees). His response is not, he sounds like a nasty controlling bully.

NuffSaidSam · 08/12/2025 17:13

I do not understand how you have ended up in this position OP.

Clearly, he is deeply unpleasant and aggressive.

Has this happened recently? In which case I would encourage him to see a GP because he either has a brain tumour or is having a mental health crisis.

If this is what he's like generally, why have you made a baby with him? Why are you still with him? Why have you left said baby in his care?

What is happening here?!

Bigcat25 · 08/12/2025 17:20

Everyone has a table. Does he expect you to eat on the floor?
Babies might bump themselves once in a while but they don't usually get seriously hurt.

Gerbera55 · 08/12/2025 17:21

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Obviously you have zero understanding of abusive relationships.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 08/12/2025 17:23

Oh OP you're focusing on the wrong thing here.
You're in a very abusive relationship.
You need to take the baby and leave.

Normalorproblem · 08/12/2025 17:24

Are you sure he wasn’t saying this to your baby and accidentally recorded himself ? And was the accident actually an accident? I’d be extremely worried he was covering up and saying about tables as he accidentally sent a voice note verbally abusing your child and was covering his tracks

madnessitellyou · 08/12/2025 17:25

Wtaf op.

Leave.

B1anche · 08/12/2025 17:30

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Jesus Christ, what a way to speak to a victim of abuse.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 08/12/2025 17:41

@Whiteoleander2please leave and take your baby to place of safety x

Whiteoleander2 · 08/12/2025 17:42

To clear up some comments and concerns. Yes I am used to his behaviour. We also have a 9 year old and I've no concerns about him around the baby, he's never been angry at either of them and adores the baby just I get the blame if baby gets injured or gets too upset, for example one night he was overtired and crying and I got a barrage of abuse over that too and a few days ago he was stood talking to me and baby was standing at baby gate (he could also see this and didn't move him away) baby fell and hurt himself and that was my fault because I was trying to listen and pay attention to what he was talking to me about that I hadn't moved quick enough to catch baby but he was literally also right there so could have also responded. He was not like this with our 9 year old when he was a baby, he has changed alot over the years.

OP posts: