Your DH is surely aware of the degree to which having guests drains your battery, and since these frequent mini breaks are scarcely warranted by the mere 90 minute drive from his family home, he could easily remove this distress for you. (And it is distressing, when you’re the type who gets utterly steamrollered by extended social interaction)
That he leaves you to see to everything is utterly appalling. What kind of man is he at all?
But the setup confused me, all the same. Are the children yours alone, or is he their dad? And the house, is it just yours, with DH a recent arrival in the family? It’s just that you call it your house, and they are your children (might just be the way it sounds to me, and not in your own head, of course)
That there’s a teenager having to give up their bedroom each time is a bit much too. What teen wants older people regularly staying in their private space like this? It’s not on.
I’d think it much fairer if you and your husband camped out in the sitting room instead, tbh. (Might make DH understand a few things, too)
If this is indeed a newish marriage, I’d be very uneasy that the in-laws are happy to turn the household upside down like this, and so frequently. A couple of nights at Easter or Christmas maybe, and any other time everyone can drive to the others’ house, surely!
You paint a picture of a rather thoughtless and demanding family on his side.
As I see it there are two options to present to your husband, and whichever he selects he has to abide by (or he’ll be thrown into the nearest bear pit by a crowd of furious harpies).
His parents get real, and just drive back later the same day.
Or: they stay max 2 nights, but ALL shifting about, mattress-inflating and bedmaking and what all shall be his responsibility.