To be surprised about friend's household income

[CuriousKit]

Recently went to see a friend. She's always been bit insecure about other people spending on things like people going on holidays or buying a nice car etc. she earns well herself but she gets insecure about others going up on career ladder etc. she says she never puts heating on or never bought a new cloth, always bought from charity etc. I have spent significant time listening to her and reassuring her that she's doing well.
Anyways her DH casually dropped her earning from last year, a whopping £550k, take home 300k. I was shocked at why she would be so insecure and miserable. We don't earn anywhere near that sort of amount but live a decent life so I am sure she can have a very nice life and not worry so much and be this insecure.

Bump

At a guess (which is all any of us have) maybe she's been on the breadline in the past and simply isn't used to having money to spend

Double post deleted

How the hell do you "casually drop" in the details of your wifes earnings into a conversation?! I don't know what sort of people they are, but it seems very crass for a man to discuss his wifes earnings with her friend!
Maybe she's A) tight B) very very frugal or C) has her money controlled by her husband?!

That level of insecurity likely comes from some kind of trauma or background of poverty. People aren't always rational about these things.

Lots of people who have a lot of money/savings have managed that by living fairly frugally. But there’s a big difference between making good financial decisions and buying charity shop clothes on £300k. Do you think she might have a lot of debt or be living beyond her means in terms of mortgage, car payments etc.? There is a chance she is being financially controlled by her DH, or that either of them have gambling problems. It does sound strange but you can only either ask her about it or ignore it

What does she do op for half a million every year ?
And how did DH drop it in.

How did he ‘casually drop’ that? What’s her job?

As far as I know she didn't grew up poor but I felt like a fool reassuring her so much while being an average earner.

That's her husband's earning, her earning is separate. He dropped his earnings casually in a conversation.

Does he share his money with her?

You clearly said her earnings in your OP so I don’t think you will get many accurate replies now. But clearly they may not share finances or she may be insecure as he’s the high earner not her etc.

I don't know what to say when she gets insecure next about other friends

Anyways I think it's none of my business and I will just have to dodge next time when she goes on about others having nice time in holidays and that she's miserable.

Can't you just change the subject? Its a bit weird to be having constant conversations about how insecure she feels anyway.

What else do you two talk about

Also, are you actually gonna tell us what she does for a living?

They are self employed.

What’s her job?

What as, though?

Healthcare as consultants

I remember her once saying she hasn't got any clue about outgoings as all managed by DH

So maybe he keeps it all and gives her pocket money? Does she work?

We talk about many things but something like discussing about other friends comes up in conversation every time about holidays or anyone moving house or car etc

Well she could be being financially abused maybe she has no access to any of this money.

That's a possibility now that you have mentioned. I never thought about it.

She never said anything about it though ever.